After the birth of the children, our family was filled with joy. But with that came endless toil and four children to take care of, we were simply overwhelmed.
The daily expenses are getting bigger and bigger, and our family is extremely anxious.
"Dad, Mom, aren't you happy?" the eldest daughter, Xiaoling, saw our troubles.
"It's not that I'm unhappy, it's that I'm a little troubled. I smiled bitterly.
"So what do I do? I don't want to upset you. Xiaoling hugged me, her eyes full of worry.
"This ...... We'll figure it out, don't worry. Liu Ming took Xiao Ling and comforted.
But in fact, we really don't have much at hand. Life at home is getting more and more difficult day by day, Liu Ming and I often quarrel over life, and the children also grow up in this tense atmosphere.
"Dad, Mom, are you going to send us away?" asked the eldest son, Xiaoqiang, with tears in his eyes.
"Yes, but it's for your own good. Liu Ming said firmly.
"Don't ......" the children began to cry, they did not understand why such a thing had happened.
"You must be obedient, you must study hard in the future, and you must Xi...... obediently" I tried not to tremble in my voice.
This decision is undoubtedly a huge loss for us. We were heartbroken, and the whole family didn't want to see it.
But even so, we still can't get rid of the pain and remorse in our hearts.
Life seems to have lost its original color, the home is empty, and there is no laughter from children.
It was a great loss in my life that I will never forget, and it was the heaviest experience in our family.
My relationship with Liu Ming also became strained because of this incident. We were always blaming each other, and quarrels became commonplace.
"Wang Rui, why do you always think like this, it's not our own fault. Liu Ming said to me with some emotion.
"But don't you feel sorry for those children, who are our responsibility, but now they have to be raised by others.
"This is not our intention, do you still want us to suffer from hunger and cold with these children?" Liu Ming also began to lose patience.
After the argument, we all looked extremely tired. I looked at Liu Ming, and my heart was full of mixed emotions. We have never experienced so much stress and tribulation before, and perhaps all of this has made us more vulnerable.
Moreover, our relatives and friends have also begun to distance themselves from us. They didn't understand what we were trying to do, they just thought we were too cold.
In this atmosphere, I began to miss those children even more, I don't know how they are doing now, and my heart is always worried about them.
During that time, Liu Ming and I both became reticent, and in the face of each other, we could no longer find the sweet feeling we had at the beginning.
A month later, I received a call from my eldest daughter, Xiaoling. Her voice was full of doubts and puzzlement: "Mom, our life is so hard now, why are you sending us away?" Xiao Ling's words were like a sharp blade, piercing deep into my heart.
"Xiaoling, we made that decision for your own good. I tried to explain.
"But we are your children, and we should live with you and face difficulties together. Xiao Ling's voice was full of grievances.
I fell silent because I couldn't find a proper reason to answer her. Xiaoling's words plunged me into deep self-blame and contradictions.
At this time, the atmosphere in the home became more depressing, and the relationship between me and Liu Ming began to crack. We blame each other and don't even want to sit together for dinner anymore.
Gradually, I began to wonder if we had made the wrong decision in the first place. Perhaps, we should persevere, no matter how difficult it is, we must face it with our children.
"Wang Rui, we can't go on like this anymore, we need to replan our lives. Liu Ming's voice revealed exhaustion and despair.
I looked into his eyes and felt the contradiction and helplessness in my heart. Days like these make us feel powerless, but we can't find a way out.
That day, after sending the children away, the house became unusually deserted. The cheerful laughter of children echoed in the empty room, which made our hearts ache.
"That's your decision, give the child to someone else?" Liu Ming roared.
"They are our children, how can we give them up?" Liu Ming's eyes were full of anger and despair.
"We don't have the capacity to raise that many children, and it's for their good!" I shot back excitedly.
For a long time, there have been more and more quarrels and contradictions between us. The departure of our children brings emptiness and loneliness to our lives, and also puts our feelings in jeopardy.
However, it was at this time that a piece of news that surprised us disrupted our lives again.
This news made Liu Ming and I fall into endless panic and hesitation again, can we withstand the pressure of raising children again? This unexpected news makes us feel very helpless and confused about the future.
Uncertainty in our lives makes our relationships even more strained. Every time this topic is mentioned, we disagree because of different ideas, and we hesitate and don't know what to do next.
And now, I'm under more and more pressure to deal with this inescapable reality.