My boyfriend and I have been in love for almost three years now, and our relationship has always been stable. Recently, though, we had an incident that made me very embarrassed.
On this day, I went shopping with my boyfriend and ended up running into his ex-girlfriend at the mall. I'm not a very jealous girl, but seeing my boyfriend and ex-girlfriend chatting happily together, I still feel a little uncomfortable. I tried to keep my mind to myself, but I couldn't help but keep an eye on them.
I was relieved when my boyfriend took the initiative to hold my hand. But his ex-girlfriend doesn't seem to let go of our relationship yet, has been shopping with us, and also chats and laughs with her boyfriend from time to time. I started to feel a little impatient, feeling like she was taking my boyfriend's attention. I tried my best to hide my emotions, but I couldn't help but ask my boyfriend: "What is the reason for your breakup? Hearing this, my heart was a little more steady.
However, on the way home, my boyfriend kept talking to me about that unexpected encounter, which seemed to be an unexpected surprise for him. I began to feel uneasy, afraid that my place would be taken by his ex-girlfriend in his heart. I couldn't help but say to him, "Do you still miss your ex-girlfriend?" The boyfriend shook his head helplessly: "Of course not, I just thought this chance encounter was interesting, and there was no other meaning." ”
But I just couldn't let go, and I began to speculate unfounded about my boyfriend's every move, for fear that he would contact his ex-girlfriend again or have relationship problems. I tried to restrain my thoughts, but my emotions seemed to be out of control.
Finally, I decided to talk to my boyfriend, and I said to him, "I know I'm going too far, but I really care about you." I don't want to lose you, and I'm afraid to lose you. After listening to my words, my boyfriend looked at me with some distress in his eyes, and he said, "I understand, the relationship between us will not be easily shaken, you don't have to worry." ”
This encounter with my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend made me more sensitive to my boyfriend's possessiveness. Whenever he mentions his circle of friends or colleagues, I can't help but have some bad associations. This anxiety and suspicion pained me, but I couldn't seem to control it.
This state of affairs continued for a while, until one day, my boyfriend and I had a big fight over this matter. He scolded me for being too sensitive, and I felt that he didn't understand my feelings enough. We had a lot of arguments, and we all ended up with some over-rhetoric. We couldn't come to a consensus and sat in the living room with a cold chatter and a very tense atmosphere.
That's when my boyfriend's parents suddenly visited us. I used to like his parents because they always took good care of me. But this time their arrival put more pressure on me. They thought that the contradiction between us was just a small contradiction, but they didn't expect to see the two of us fighting coldly at home.
When they asked us what was going on, my boyfriend behaved a little strangely to me. He began to explain for me, but there was a displeasure in his tone. He said that I was always worried about his whereabouts, about his friends, and it made him very uncomfortable. His parents looked solemn after hearing this, and his mother looked at me and whispered, "Little girl, emotional matters must be understood and trusted by each other." ”
These words made me feel a little emotional, in a seemingly peaceful family, there is such a contradiction. My boyfriend's parents comforted us and hoped that we could communicate openly and honestly and not get divorced because of misunderstandings. Their words made me feel guilty, and I began to reflect on my actions. Maybe I'm really too sensitive, and I'm too attached to the so-called possessiveness. However, I couldn't help but worry about my boyfriend.
After my boyfriend's parents left, I had a serious conversation with him. We were honest about our thoughts and apologized to each other. My boyfriend also promised to be more considerate of my feelings, and I tried to let go of my uneasiness about him. Our relationship seems to be back on track.
However, I know that this problem is not fundamentally solved. I need more time and effort to overcome my insecurities in order to truly have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend. I don't know what the future holds, but at least I'm willing to work hard for our feelings.
After that encounter, I became more possessive of my boyfriend. I started to speculate unfounded about his every move, fearing that he would get in touch with his ex-girlfriend again or have relationship problems. I tried to restrain my thoughts, but my emotions were no longer in control.
Soon after, my boyfriend invited me to his house for dinner. Although we have been dating for a long time, I have never been to his house. At the door of the house, he suddenly stopped and said to me with a nervous expression: "Actually...... Mom and Dad didn't know much about our relationship. "I was stunned, I didn't expect my boyfriend to never be honest about our relationship with his family.
When we walked into the house, my boyfriend's parents were very polite to me, but obviously had some doubts about our relationship. My boyfriend didn't dare to talk to them too much about our relationship, for fear that they would object. After dinner, on the way home from my boyfriend, I couldn't help but ask him, "Why haven't you told your parents about our relationship?" ”
This incident made me feel very uncomfortable, and instead of receiving respect and support from my boyfriend, I was burdened with a secret romance. I started to feel uneasy and suspicious, feeling that my boyfriend wasn't taking our relationship seriously enough. Every time I think about it, I can't calm down.
Even when my relationship with my boyfriend was being tested, I found that I became more possessive of him. I began to forcibly interfere with his interactions with his family, urging him to be honest with his family about our relationship. I became irritable and irritable, and I lost my temper with him whenever something didn't go my way. My boyfriend began to feel my dissatisfaction, and our conflicts seemed to be increasing.
I didn't know how to deal with the relationship that was bothering us. I was scared to lose him, but I was scared to keep going like this. My heart was full of contradictions and struggles.
When I got home that night, I was thinking about today's events. I felt that my emotions were a little too extreme, and my boyfriend felt very hurt, so I decided to apologize. I sent a message to my boyfriend expressing my apologies and trust in him. Soon after, my boyfriend replied to my message, saying that he also understood my concerns and understood my apology, saying that he would pay more attention to my feelings.
Shortly after, however, we found ourselves at another contradiction. It turned out that my boyfriend had an appointment with a colleague for dinner, but because of a temporary matter, the colleague asked to postpone it for an hour. My boyfriend agreed, and he didn't tell me about it. When I found out, I felt uneasy again. My possessiveness swelled again, and I began to question why my boyfriend didn't tell me if there was something shady to hide. The boyfriend said aggrievedly: "It's just because of things at work, it's not a big deal at all." ”
But I've become sensitive, and I always feel that my boyfriend is deliberately hiding it from me, and it hurts me. We were locked in a cold war until the ice was broken late at night by a hug from my boyfriend. He whispered, "I know you're worried, but my feelings for you are sincere, and I won't do anything to be sorry for you." "His actions and words gave me a sense of relief, but I still felt that the matter was not completely resolved.
During this time, I realized that I was really too possessive, and that my behavior was also constrained by my boyfriend. I realized that the problem of possessiveness was not just him, but my own lack of trust in myself and in my feelings. I understand that I need to adjust my emotions and look at feelings more rationally without putting too much pressure on each other. However, it takes time and effort to change. I decided to communicate with my boyfriend and tell him about my determination, while also asking him to understand and support me. I know that there is still a lot of work to be done and understood in this relationship.
Therefore, I decided to take the initiative to meet my boyfriend and have a good talk with him to express the importance I attach to the relationship and reflect on possessiveness. I hope that this exchange will strengthen our relationship.
Soon, summer vacation arrived. Together with my boyfriend, I decided to visit his hometown. This is the first time I have been to my boyfriend's hometown, and my family has long known that I am going, and I am a little nervous. My boyfriend has been very relaxed, and he said that his parents would be very happy with me.
When we arrived at my boyfriend's hometown, the old people welcomed me warmly, and the room was already cleaned up. Seeing that my boyfriend's family has a good attitude towards me, I am also a lot more relieved. We stayed in my hometown for a few days, and my boyfriend accompanied me to get acquainted with the environment of my hometown and introduced me to a lot of interesting things.
However, what happened next made me feel a little unhappy. My boyfriend's mom seemed to be very critical of my every move, and when I spoke louder, she would show me a straight face, and sometimes even reprimand my boyfriend in front of me. The boyfriend seemed to be a little Xi to this, and did not refute it.
I began to feel more and more wronged, but I couldn't get angry with his mother in person. My boyfriend noticed my unhappiness, and he said to me helplessly: "My mother is actually a very domineering person, don't pay too much attention to it." "But I don't think he can be on my side, and he doesn't seem to care that much about me.
It makes me feel very conflicted, I've been with him for so long, and I've always been very tolerant of him. But now I'm starting to doubt his true feelings for me. Originally, I thought that he would be understood and supported when he confided in me, but I didn't expect him to give me enough comfort. I began to have doubts about our feelings.
When I came back this time, I became more and more anxious and irritable. I used to feel that my boyfriend's love for me was very strong, but now I have a stronger sense of possessiveness and insecurity. I really don't know what to do.