In China, especially in rural areas, the concept of courtesy and exchange has been deeply ingrained in the hearts of the people. This move is not only a time-honored traditional Xi, but also reflects a strong sense of human feelings. When neighbors or relatives and friends organize banquets, such as weddings, new marriages, moving to a new house and other happy events, the neighbors in the village will always bring gifts or give gifts to celebrate and bless. As for the value of the gift money, it is not the primary consideration in the eyes of farmers compared to the city. What they pay more attention to is the sincere heart and sincere blessing and care for the host's family. In this way, neighbors can gather together for the grand event, share happy moments, and deepen the bond of kinship with each other. Because of this, in rural areas, whenever a happy event comes, there is bound to be a scene of prosperity and laughter.
There are also those who see such banquets as a means of making a profit. Families who regularly host banquets may be more likely to weigh up how to use this opportunity to increase their revenue. For other villagers, it is also a great platform for them to showcase their interpersonal skills and build a good reputation. They dutifully participated in these banquets and cheered on the hosts, so that more people could appreciate their network resources and influence. On the other hand, in rural settings, such banquets are often seen as an important part of community activities. Sending representatives from every household is not just a courtesy, it is essentially a deep heart-to-heart exchange. In such an atmosphere, everyone was able to gather together to chat freely, communicate with each other, shorten the distance between each other, and enhance friendship. Therefore, the large scale of the banquet and the large number of participants have also become an important benchmark to measure the social status and influence of the host.
In a quiet village in northern Jiangsu, there is a 48-year-old woman who is going through another important stage in her life: middle age. To commemorate this special day, she is full of joy and looks forward to preparing a fulfilling and grand birthday party for herself. Therefore, she enthusiastically sent out an invitation, inviting relatives and friends in the village to witness this special moment, hoping to spend her birthday joy with the parents and villagers in the village. For this grand banquet, she built a gorgeous stage with her own hands and carefully planned a variety of theatrical performances. In addition, she also specially ordered a customized birthday cake with eight layers of rings, representing the fruits and happiness of life.
Finally, on the day of the official start of the banquet, she warmly welcomed every guest of honor. However, unexpectedly, out of the nearly 300 villagers in the village, only 13 relatives and friends took the time to attend the banquet. All the people who thought they would stand up to support her and celebrate her birthday were all absent. On the neatly arranged tables in the courtyard, the prepared delicacies have lost their original temperature and turned into cold cold dishes. Seeing this scene, the expectations in her heart were inevitably hit hard by reality. Her son was playing alone in the yard, and although the whole venue was carefully decorated, with a striking "Shou" character hanging on the main wall as a background decoration, the dining tables were empty.
The scene in front of them can't help but be reminiscent of the regretful rural love legend, in which Liu Neng and Guangkun always like to hold banquets under various names, and the real motive behind them is nothing more than to cheat the gift money. Does this woman have the same purpose? The reality is that the villagers don't seem interested, and no one wants to support her. What is even more embarrassing is that the visiting relatives and friends only gathered together in a scattered manner, talking in low voices. With attendance far from expectations, the planned celebrations could not be carried out smoothly according to the scheduled schedule. The relatives present were like outsiders, waiting for the arrival of other friends. But as time went by, it seemed that no one would come again.
The lady had to face the difficult choice of whether to let her relatives who had already arrived start the meal, or to stay where she was, waiting patiently for the belated friendship, either of which was bound to cause a certain amount of discomfort and resentment. At this moment, she is holding straw-like trouble, and the taste in her heart is indescribable. This occasion, which should have been joyful, turned out to be so embarrassing and tragic. The lady was helpless and completely unable to cope with the sudden situation. In fact, such a thing did not happen suddenly, but because she neglected to communicate with her neighbors for a long time.
According to the villagers, the lady is rarely at home and rarely participates in various activities in the village. This time I suddenly wanted to hold a birthday party, and others could only pretend to turn a blind eye. After all, in a rural society, human sophistication is crucial. If a person does not invite them door-to-door in person, and at the same time does not explicitly indicate whether they need to accept gifts or cash red envelopes, then others will naturally choose to keep their distance and not support them. Some netizens commented that the lady may be trying to take this opportunity to grab the gift money, but the villagers are not stupid, how can such a small trick be hidden from everyone's eyes. In the final analysis, in the rural environment, favors and gifts are two interdependent and inseparable parts. If a person fails to build close interpersonal relationships on a daily basis, he or she will not easily reap any benefits from others.
In the rural social environment, residents pay more attention to the concept of "mutual borrowing and blending". Even if you have a certain kind of belonging, you still need to make a special trip to your neighbors for help on certain occasions to show respect and affection for them. In the process, through frequent contact and mutual witnessing, we have been able to build a deep friendship and trust. This far-reaching lending behavior is not simply the circulation of materials, but also the sublimation of affection.
When this woman celebrates her fiftieth birthday, although she has not accumulated a large emotional base before, it is natural that others will not be able to give the same attention and active participation as other major events in the village. Because of this, her birthday celebration was a little cold to a certain extent, because the villagers were wise enough to understand that there was not yet a sufficient emotional foundation between the two parties. If you want to be comfortable in rural life, you need to understand the importance of courtesy. Whether it is the exchange of gifts on the material level, or the caring and supportive incentives on the emotional level, it is the indispensable key to maintaining interpersonal relationships. That woman may not have been able to grasp this value deeply, and in some cases may feel isolated or even ignored.
After reading this article, what may you think?Please share your insights in the comment area, and the editor will reply one by one~
Disclaimer: The process and pictures described in the article are from the Internet, and this article aims to advocate positive social energy and no vulgar and other bad guidance. If it involves copyright or character infringement issues, please contact us in time, and we will delete the content as soon as possible!