I always thought that I was a sensible person who could understand and deal with everything that happened in the family.
Here's the thing, that day, my husband and I went to my father-in-law's house for dinner. My father-in-law apologized in front of everyone and said that he was too partial to me in the past and would correct it in the future.
Everyone in my family thought I was ignorant of this, but I didn't realize my mistake at the time.
For a period of time after that, I was stuck in a painful recollection, why couldn't I think from my father-in-law's point of view? Why couldn't I give him a chance to let go of the past? My mother-in-law's persuasion made me understand that I should be more tolerant of my family and not turn everything into a war.
In my conversations with my friends, I felt more and more that I was doing something wrong. A friend said: "No one is perfect, and your father-in-law taking the initiative to apologize is a kind of respect for you, and you should learn to be tolerant and understanding."
Until that day, I took the initiative to go to my father-in-law's house and apologize to him, hoping to get his understanding. My father-in-law took my hand, smiled slightly and said, "Child, I have never blamed you.
I realized that my growth was not yet in place and that I needed more self-awareness and emotional intelligence cultivation.
On the way home, I decided that I wanted to change myself and learn more tolerance and understanding. I know it will take time, but I believe that as long as I do it sincerely, everything will slowly get better.
Unexpectedly, just when I decided to change myself and be more tolerant and understanding, something happened at home that made me can't help but get angry.
One day, I was cooking hard at home, and my father-in-law and mother-in-law were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, my father-in-law said to me loudly, "Turn up the TV!" I just turned up the TV, but he said, "No, no, turn it down!" I muttered to myself, why are you so annoying, you can't just turn it up yourself.
Not long after, my father-in-law waved again, and said, "No, it's still too small, make it bigger!" I was angry at the time, thinking that you have your own hands and feet, and you can't move yourself?
I went to another room and started cooking angrily. My father-in-law came over and said, "Child, I'm sorry, I was a little annoyed with you just now.
Although I know that my father-in-law is a kind old man, I feel very depressed by his demanding and self-centered behavior.
This incident made me wonder even more, am I a sensible person after all? How should I deal with such contradictions? I began to bear an unrelieved burden in my heart, and this contradictory emotions stirred in my heart, and I began to reflect on my words and deeds, and think about my position in this family.
But this irritability and helplessness involuntarily welled up in my heart.
I try to be more tolerant of my in-laws and family. However, another conflict suddenly befell our home.
One night, my mother-in-law and I had an argument over a trivial family matter. My mother-in-law reprimanded me for being negligent in housework with fierce words.
I realized that the conflict between me and my mother-in-law was not really resolved. I know that I still need more self-knowledge and practice in order to better cope with the conflicts in my family.
In order to resolve the conflict, I decided to sit down with my mother-in-law and have a good talk. We met face to face and told each other's thoughts from the bottom of our hearts, and found that the original quarrel was just some misunderstanding and poor communication.
As I have learned, tolerance and understanding are the keys to resolving family conflicts, and I have benefited greatly from this.
On the day I arrived at my father-in-law's house, everyone was preparing for my father-in-law's 80th birthday. In the midst of a busy atmosphere, my mother-in-law and I started a new round of disputes.
"What are you doing this time? I've been watching you act as a powerful man since you entered the door, you're really ignorant!" my mother-in-law couldn't help but accuse me.
Seeing this, the father-in-law advised: "Don't quarrel, this is a festive day."
But I couldn't bear it anymore, and I retorted, "Mother-in-law, you're too partial. You've always been upset with me and have never seen what I've done for this home.
A wave of anger welled up in my heart, and I felt greatly offended. Ignoring the other people's dissuasion, I walked straight out of the house.
I realized that behind the quarrel was a combination of my mother-in-law's resentment against me and my resentment towards her partiality.
Back at home, I was immersed in thinking about the contradictions. I realized that this was not an overnight conflict, but the result of a long-standing grudge.
A lot of things happen when we don't know it. In the days that followed, I began to slowly adjust myself and learn to be tolerant and understanding.
I felt misunderstood and isolated, I felt like I wasn't doing anything wrong, and they were scheming at me behind my back.
For the sake of family harmony, I tried my best to understand and tolerate my husband, but it was difficult to release my suppressed emotions. I began to understand that it is not only about self-knowledge, but also about the understanding and support of others.
In this family, the conflicts seemed to gradually become more complicated, and I felt confused and tired, thinking alone in my heart about how to deal with it next.