When we are tired, we often choose to sleep, but the more we rest, the more tired we become.
Why is that?
Meditation expert Andy Pudicomb points out that many people's fatigue does not come from the body, but from unconscious thoughts in the brain.
Although sleeping can relieve physical fatigue, it cannot relieve mental fatigue.
To rest effectively, you need to take control of your consciousness and live with mindfulness.
Get rid of mental exhaustion and restore inner order.
Source: Visual China
Sleep is not necessarily the most effective way to rest
Psychological counselor Xu slowly shared a case:
Ke Yuan's work is very busy, and as soon as she turns on her mobile phone every day, countless messages in the work group come to her face.
What she longs for most is to give herself a vacation and take a good rest.
So, on the weekend, she turned off her mobile phone, lay down from morning to night, and frantically made up for sleep.
When I woke up, I felt even more tired, and I still felt full of guilt.
She asks Xu why this is happening, and Xu slowly tells her that this is because:
If we stop doing anything that consumes our brain energy other than dealing with the "stressor", the brain will think that the "stressor" is the only thing that matters.
At this time, stress will always fill our brains.
All along, we have fallen into a misunderstanding.
I always think that rest is to rest the body, but I don't know that for "brain fatigue", sleep is not the most effective way to rest.
In our brains, there is a set of "default network systems" called DMNs.
And when we have nothing to do, the brain activates the "default mode".
In this mode, the brain consumes 55% more energy than usual.
Source: Visual China
Recall that you have ever had such a moment:
When I got home from work, I immediately collapsed on the sofa to catch up on dramas, play with my mobile phone, and consume myself while playing, feeling that I was wasting time and making me even more tired;
Staying at home during the holidays, I wanted to take a good rest, but I always thought about the unfinished work, but I didn't do anything, and I felt physically and mentally exhausted......
This is caused by mental fatigue.
We think we are resting, but our brains are not idle for a moment, and we are constantly generating all kinds of distractions.
This hidden "brain wandering" is the real cause of our fatigue.
You've been tired, maybe because you won't rest
Mihaly Chiksenmiharai, one of the founders of positive psychology, divides leisure into two types:
One is passive leisure, which refers to doing things that don't require thinking, such as scrolling through your phone, watching TV, and playing games......
One is active leisure, which refers to doing things that require concentration, such as reading, exercising, meditating......
He found that people who use passive leisure are more likely to have anxiety and irritability, because the brain will activate the DMN mode at this time.
We are constantly reminiscing about the past and worrying about the future, and we are unconsciously consumed and exhausted.
Source: Visual China
Netizen @Lili used to work in a foreign trade company and was a middle-level manager of the company, and she was very busy every day.
Later, she became pregnant with her second child and quit her job to become a freelancer in order to take care of the child.
During that time, Lili slept until she woke up naturally. When my friends found out, they were very envious.
Lili said that the days after leaving her job were the most tiring.
Without the constraints of the company, she always couldn't control herself, and couldn't help but swipe her phone and play games.
I slept late every day and woke up, but I still felt unmotivated.
She is afraid of being abandoned by society, but she can't concentrate on improving herself, and can only fall into endless self-blame.
Fortunately, she realized that her state was wrong in time, and made up her mind to change it, and no longer have to live a mixed life:
Go to bed early and wake up early every day, concentrate on doing things, and when you rest, you no longer blindly indulge in junk pleasures, but take the initiative to do what you are interested in.
Gradually, she regained her former positivity.
We often think that the best rest is to do nothing, but we ignore that the brain naturally likes a sense of order.
When consciousness enters a state of disorder, it is most likely to be cranky and immersed in negative thoughts.
To rest effectively, you need to turn off your brain's "automatic mode" and consciously take control of your attention and keep your mind in the moment.
Mindfulness is the best way to find that state.
Source: Visual China
The best way to restore your mental strength is to be mindful
What is mindfulness? The Ten Minute Meditation gives this explanation:
"Mindfulness is about connecting with the here and now without judgment, that you can live in the present moment in its entirety, rather than being filled with all kinds of criticism in your mind. ”
For a person to free themselves from anxiety and fear, one needs to be mindful.
Don't exaggerate your anxiety about the future, but immerse yourself in the present moment and be open to everything.
1. Stop judging and embrace all emotions
In the book, the author recounts one of his experiences:
While practicing Xi meditation, Andy has been anxious to get rid of the emotions of sadness.
He struggled to "fight" emotions every day, trying to ignore or resist them, always in vain.
He complained to the Master in frustration, "If I can't get rid of my sadness all the time, how can I be happy?"
Master said,
"You are looking for the wrong happiness, and true happiness is not 'the feeling that everything is perfect,' but the ability to feel comfortable no matter what emotions come up in your heart. ”
After listening to Master's words, Andy woke up like a dream.
In reality, we are always eager to be happy and want to get rid of negative emotions.
As a result, we label emotions as bad and undeserved.
When these emotions arise, we keep banishing them.
But they ignore that emotions themselves do not cause distress, and resisting emotions is the key to internal friction.
Only by letting emotions flow, accepting them, and seeing them, can we achieve inner peace.
Source: Visual China
2. Stay awake and live every present moment
In the novel "A Pilgrimage of One Man", the protagonist Harred has been immersed in the shadow of his original family because he was abandoned by his mother since he was a child.
He lived a messy life every day, and he was also very cold to the people around him, even his own son was suffering from depression.
Gradually, his life became worse and worse, and he was exhausted every day.
It wasn't until one day, when he stepped out of his house and embarked on a journey alone, that he began to really examine his life:
For the first time, he noticed the plants around him, which ones could be used to heal diseases and which ones could be used for cooking;
For the first time, it turned out that some things had passed, and some people were still in front of them......
When he threw himself wholeheartedly into the present, he regained the courage to live.
Many times, the most common mistakes we make are:
Obsessed with the past, anxious about the future.
But ignore that life is only in every moment. Living the present well will also compose good memories and build a distant future.
3. Let go of attachments and allow anything to happen
Writer Andy Puducom was in particularly good shape for a while.
He felt the gloom of the past be swept away. During that time, he was very excited, thinking that he had everything under control.
But this situation did not last long, and the unpleasant feeling resurfaced.
He was very confused and asked the teacher.
The teacher said:
"If you can give up the desire to experience good things all the time, and at the same time let go of the fear of experiencing unpleasant things, you can have the peace you want. ”
Many times, our anxiety and exhaustion come from an excessive desire for control:
I want to be happy, I want to get rid of my worries, I want to be loved and successful......
But the script of life never shifts by our will. Backfire is the norm of life.
Only by truly accepting this can we not be burdened by obsession.
Source: Visual China
There is a subtle metaphor in "Ten Minute Meditation":
If you have a large piece of white paper in front of you with a dot at each end, you need to connect the two dots in a straight line.
You'll find that it's not easy.
If you are not careful, the lines will become crooked.
But if there is another dot next to each dot, you just have to connect the dots one after the other, and the line will be much easier to draw.
If life is a blank slate, then "here and now" is like those little dots.
What we need to think about is not how to make this line straight to the end, but to live the "here and now" with awareness.
Expect the good, but also accept that things backfire, control what you can control, and leave the rest to God's will.
In this way, we can get rid of anxiety and exhaustion, and reap the joy and relief of our hearts.
Author: Poetry of October. Source: Fan Book Yuan Fan Deng Reading (ID: readingclub_btfx), on the Fan Book, understand good books!