I'm an old man who has remarried, and three people have told me what they have to say. My surname is Tang and I am 70 years old this year. Remarriage was the biggest decision of my life to break my old life.
The first person to come was my own father, who remarried and became my stepmother. At that time, I was a rebellious teenager, and I was in a panic, unwilling to accept a strange woman into my family. My father said to me, "Son, my parents are gone, and I need someone to accompany me." We all supported your love when you were young, do you understand Dad?" I nodded silently, but I still couldn't let go. I didn't expect that I would later embark on the path of remarriage.
The second person is my ex-wife, who is my first wife and the mother of my two sons. We have been in love for twenty years and are a model couple to outsiders. However, our love gradually cooled, and quarrels became commonplace. In the end, I chose to separate from her and look for a new life. She said to me: "Mr. Tang, there are too many grievances and helplessness in our twenty years of married life, and I hope you can find true happiness in your new marriage." Hearing her words, I felt pain in my heart and couldn't help but cry silently.
After remarrying, I faced life as husband and wife again. We cook together, watch TV, and sometimes watch the neighbors' newly moved cats and dogs together. Every night we sat together in the courtyard, counting the stars in the sky and talking about topics that had never been talked about before. We had our fights from time to time, but we all learned to respect each other and listen to each other.
In the past, I always thought that old people who remarried would not have the opportunity to live as a couple with their partners. However, I now understand that as long as we are willing to let go of the baggage of the past and start over, there can still be sweetness and warmth between husband and wife. But I'm still worried now, because it's not clear if this marriage will be as cold and heartless as the previous ones.
On this day, my wife and I were walking in the yard after dinner, and she suddenly grabbed my hand and said, "Old Tang, let the people and things of the past pass." We should cherish the happiness of the present. I smiled and nodded, and we continued our walk.
After a few months, my relationship with my wife gradually stabilized. We are inseparable and care about each other. However, a quarrel one night shattered our peaceful lives.
That night, my wife had just come home and looked a little tired. I asked her what had happened, and she lied to me. "It's nothing, it's just a little trouble at work. She replied faintly. I looked at her with a little confusion, but I still chose to believe her.
Over the next few days, the wife became increasingly estranged. She no longer took the initiative to talk to me as she used to, and she was more aloof. Whenever I asked her what was going on, she always avoided talking about it. I felt a little uneasy and began to watch her every move carefully.
One day, my wife received a phone call. I stood behind her and listened secretly, only to hear her nervously say, "I'm fine, don't bother me anymore." The voice on the other end of the phone left me in deep confusion. I don't know why my wife was hiding the call from me.
In the dead of night, I lay in bed tossing and turning. My thoughts were in a mess, and my heart was full of questions and anxieties. I began to wonder if my wife had bad intentions towards me. The thought of this possibility makes me feel a mixture of anger and sadness.
The next morning, I decided to find out the truth. I deliberately pretended to be relaxed and talked to my wife about the phone. Her face changed slightly, and she said hesitantly, "That phone ...... It was a friend of mine who asked me for help. "I knew she was lying. So, I asked her a few questions, and finally learned that the call she received was from a man, who was her former boyfriend.
My heart ached like a knife, and it grabbed my heart hard. I felt betrayed, and a wave of anger spread throughout my body. I shouted in a rage, "Are you in contact with him again!"
We fell into a long silence. The pain and helplessness of the broken marriage I had experienced flashed through my mind flashed through my mind, and I wondered hopelessly if this marriage was going to end in failure too.
After a few hours, I finally calmed down. I realized we needed to sit down and have a good talk. We found a quiet place and began to dissect the problems that arose between us.
My wife apologized to me and told me frankly that she hadn't forgotten her ex-boyfriend. Although she chose to be with me, she still had some hesitation and entanglement in her heart. I understand that everyone has people and things from the past, and sometimes we can't completely let go. I told her, "Love doesn't happen overnight, it needs to be managed and giving." Together, we can overcome this and give each other a chance to start over. ”
Our conversation lasted for a long time, and I realized that my wife was not trying to hurt me, she was just hesitating and confused. I told her how I felt, and we decided to give each other time to clear our minds. We agreed to attend couples counseling together and face the problem positively.
Although we are still trying, I believe that as long as we manage it carefully, it is possible for our marriage to be saved. No matter what happens, I believe this marriage is worth the effort.
As we continued our walk, we suddenly heard a sharp quarrel from a neighbor's house. We stopped and listened, and it turned out to be a neighbor and a couple arguing over some trivial matter. My wife and I inadvertently became snoopers, and we both felt embarrassed. I looked at my wife, and there was a worried look on her face.
Back at home, my wife and I sat down again, and I asked her, "Honey, do you worry a little about the quarrel among the neighbors?" she lowered her head, pondered for a moment, then looked up and said, "Old Don, time will change everything." I think that our married life may also face contradictions and difficulties. "I understand my wife's concerns and can empathize. We've had a painful marriage and are starting anew, but there's no guarantee that we'll be able to avoid repeating it.
Because of the quarrel between the neighbors, I became more and more worried about my relationship with my wife. At night, I lay in bed tossing and turning, preoccupied. I began to think back to my past marriages, and pain and helplessness welled up in my heart. Suddenly, I heard my wife sigh softly. I turned around and saw her lying on the bed, her eyes confused.
I asked softly, "Honey, what's wrong with you?" Why are you sighing?" She turned around and stared at me helplessly, "Mr. Tang, I'm also afraid that our marriage is going to break up. I don't want to face loss and sadness again. I hugged her and whispered comfortingly, "Don't be afraid, dear. We will overcome difficulties together. I love you and am willing to work hard for our marriage. ”
However, unexpectedly, at this moment, my ex-wife suddenly appeared outside the door. She looked at us with mixed emotions in her eyes. I felt flustered and didn't know what to do. She walked into the room and her eyes fell on me and my wife: "Mr. Tang, after our divorce, I have been feeling guilty and guilty. Seeing that you are happy now, I ...... I regret it. ”
My wife and I didn't expect such an emergency, and we looked at each other and didn't know what to say. After so many years of suffering, we used to think that the wound was healed, but now, the wound has been torn open and the pain is surging again.
After a few months, life between my wife and I became more and more dull. Communication between us gradually decreased, and there were quarrels from time to time. I began to wonder if this marriage would really last, if I had made the same mistake again.
One night, I came home to find my wife looking down at her phone, letting out a slight laugh. Curiosity led me to walk over and take a look, and I found that she was chatting with a man named Zhang Lei. When I asked her who she was, she didn't answer. I speculated in my mind about the possibilities, and the argument began to escalate. Eventually, the wife finally told the truth.
It turned out that Zhang Lei was a suitor of his wife, and he had always expressed a strong interest in her. And all these times, she has been hiding from me, not daring to confess. I felt angry and heartache and felt like I had become a failure in my marriage again. Our marriage was in crisis, and I even began to wonder if I should get married again.
After a heated argument, I decided to leave the house and go to a place I had longed for to reflect and reflect. I told my wife that I needed to be alone for a while to face my heart. With tears in her eyes, she begged me to stay, but I didn't look back and left the house firmly.
At the moment of leaving, I felt conflicted and helpless in my heart. I don't want to go through another failed marriage, but at the same time I don't want to give it up. Walking through the streets of an unfamiliar city all night, I pondered my choices and decisions.
By the time I got home, a week had passed. I saw my wife standing in the doorway, in tears. She apologized to me, admitting that she had made a mistake and was carried away by loneliness and temptation. She expressed her willingness to work to make amends and restore our marriage.
In her sincere apology and confession, I saw her sincerity and hard work towards our marriage. I decided to give this marriage a chance and at the same time teach myself tolerance and understanding.
Since then, my wife and I have been back together. We decided to move to an unfamiliar city and start over, giving each other a whole new environment and opportunities. Together, we explore the city, build a new life, and build a stepfamily.
Life is not always smooth sailing, and there are quite a few challenges and difficulties in our marriage. However, we have learned to support and understand each other and face difficulties together. Every time we look back, we will understand that the hardships of the past are the catalyst for our growth.
Now, I am already an old man, and I have taken many detours on the way to remarriage, and I have encountered many confusions and contradictions. But I believe that as long as we treat and cherish this marriage with sincerity, and work hard to manage and maintain it, we can still live the life of a couple.
One day, my wife and I went to a house party. At the party, I couldn't help but make a mistake and say something that embarrassed her. When she got home, she didn't smile at me softly as usual, but sat on the sofa with a straight face. I anxiously walked over and tried to explain my intentions, only to be pushed away by her indifference.
Over the next few days, our communication became less and less, and she was always alone in the room, ignoring my presence. Every night, I was alone in my empty living room, thinking sadly about how such a contradiction could have arisen. We are so good, how can we suddenly become so cold.
One night, I couldn't resist barging into her room and begging her to tell me what the hell was going on. She finally couldn't help it and handed me a piece of paper. It was a letter in which she wrote: "Mr. Tang, I know that you are a person who has had a marriage experience, but I hope that our marriage can truly become a complete family. However, from your words and deeds, I can see your attachment to your ex-wife, you always mention the old days, and you never forget it. I can't accept being a continuation of your memories and not an individual in its own right. ”
Looking at her words, I was at a loss. I never realized that my attachment to the past would hurt her as a newlywed. I wanted to explain, I wanted her to understand, but no matter how I expressed it, I couldn't really touch the depths of her heart.
This conflict has made our relationship more and more strained, and communication between husband and wife has become more and more difficult. I realized that remarriage is not just a matter for two people, but also involves striving to build a complete and harmonious family. I began to think about how to balance my emotions and give my new wife enough respect and love.
However, this issue is not easy for me to solve. A few months later, I tried to have an in-depth conversation with my wife to show how much I really changed and how much I valued our marriage. She also gradually began to open her heart and express her expectations for her future family. We try to get to know each other and try to create a new balance in the family.
Although we still have a long way to go, we are determined to work hard for each other's happiness. We are well aware that conflicts and disputes in the family are commonplace, but only through communication and understanding can we find a solution to the problem. We believe that as long as we treat each other with sincerity and put the value of family first, we can overcome all difficulties and create a truly warm and happy home together.
My wife's words comforted me, and I believe that her love will fill my heart. "We have to cherish the happiness of the present. Her voice was gentle and firm. However, the good times did not last long, and new contradictions appeared.
One day, my wife and I were resting in the yard when she suddenly asked about my ex-wife. "How's your relationship?" her voice was a little worried. "We've been separated for many years, and now it's supposed to be a disparate relationship. "I was a little hesitant and didn't know how to answer.
Soon after, my wife and I attended a family party that was hosted by my son. There, I saw my ex-wife and my two sons, who brought their families to the party. I felt an inexplicable pressure as if I needed to choose between two families.
After the party, my wife and I went home. There was a look of loss on her face that was hard to hide. "Why didn't you tell me that you were still in close contact?" her voice seemed to control her emotions. "I'm not hiding it from you, we're just keeping in touch because of the kids. I tried to explain, but I couldn't calm her anger.
From that day on, our lives became tense and cold. We no longer have dinner together, we don't walk together, and we don't even take care of the garden separately. The bickerings between us became more and more frequent, each time over that endless topic.
I didn't know what to do, I was confused and helpless. I love my wife dearly, but I also don't want to give up my ex-wife and children. I was in a dilemma and couldn't make a choice.
I let go of my pride and stubbornness and decided to sit down with my wife and have a good talk. "Honey, I understand your concerns, but I still love my ex-wife and children, who are also important to me. However, you are also my companion and my support in my old age. I sincerely expressed my heart, "Can we find a balance together?" the wife listened silently, tears glistening in her eyes.
The moment I spoke my heart, I realized that home is a place full of contradictions and entanglements. However, home is also a harbor of our emotions and a stage for us to grow together. I believe that as long as we are willing to treat each other sincerely and understand each other, we can overcome any difficulties and create our own happiness together.