Today I'm going to talk about an event that changed my self-perception. It was when my brother got married, and he borrowed 20,000 yuan from me. He said he needed money to get married, and I relented to him. Unexpectedly, 25 years have passed, and he has never paid me back the money.
At the time, I wasn't mad at him, thinking that the money might be more useful in his hands. However, it wasn't until recently that his son got married and came to borrow money from me that I started to rethink it. I silently calculated in my heart how much money my brother had earned in the past 25 years, and what he had spent it on. Doesn't he have the slightest intention of repaying the money?
This incident made me realize that I needed to make a change. Previously, I was Xi of forgiving others, but I neglected the importance of standing up for my rights. I can't allow myself to be used by others again and again. It's not just about money, it's about dignity and self-esteem. I decided that from now on, I would learn to better protect my interests.
Not long after, I received a call from my mother, and her voice was a little anxious: "Why don't you want to lend money to your brother this time? "I felt guilty for a while, my mother was always a kind person, and she always pampered her children.
"Mom, my brother still owes me that money, and I can't lend it to him anymore this time. "I tried to make my voice sound firm. Mom was silent for a while, and then sighed: "But he really needs this money, can't you forgive him once? "My mother's persuasion made me feel guilty, and I could hear what he said. However, this time I really decided to stick with it and not be able to accommodate him anymore.
Then, my brother started calling me as well, expressing his difficulties and apologies. He said he really needed the money and came to borrow it from me. He also said that this time he would try his best to repay me and would not let me down again.
I listened to his words, and my heart was still a little shaken. However, I can't ignore the grievances and grievances over the years. I know that behind these monetary entanglements are some deep contradictions between me and my brother. I squeezed my hand to calm myself down.
At this time, the phone rang again, this time it was my son. He told me that there was something wrong with his business and that he needed a sum of money to get through it. Listening to his calm voice, I became anxious. I tried to calm myself down and told him that I also had something to deal with on my side that would take time to think about. Actually, I'm a little struggling right now. I didn't want to disappoint my son, nor did I want to be taken advantage of again.
All of this makes me feel very tired. I don't know what to do next. I hope that everything will be solved easily, and I don't want more estrangement between family members because of money. But the reality is often unsatisfactory and unexpected. I need time to think about what to do with all this.
The same thing happened to another member of our family. My eldest sister's son borrowed a large amount of money from my eldest sister when he was about to buy a house and get married. But after a long time, he did not pay it off, but lived a luxurious life outside. My eldest sister is a very good-tempered person, and she tolerates everything, but this time she is also a little angry.
When I heard about it, I was naturally upset. This is not only a loss of money, but also an impact on family affection. My eldest sister has loved her nephew very much since she was a child, and he borrowed money from her without asking my eldest sister's opinion, so he took the money directly. This is not only the nephew's disrespect for the eldest sister, but also the disrespect for the whole family. And my eldest sister is distressed but unwilling to uncover this scar because of her son.
I knew I couldn't sit back and watch it any longer. After discussing it with my eldest sister, we decided to go to my nephew together and have a serious conversation about family responsibilities and affection. This time, we want to make the nephew understand that family is not a place for him to do whatever he wants, and family affection is not a resource that can be squandered at will.
With this decision, I also felt a sense of firmness in my heart that I had never felt before. I'm not a person who likes to meddle in family matters, but this time I feel that I have a responsibility to uphold the dignity and righteousness of my family. I firmly believe that family relations can only be more harmonious if each member of the family is aware of his or her responsibilities and obligations. It's also a small change for me to myself.
After my brother's son's wedding, I thought our family relationship would ease, but a new conflict ensued. One day, I received a letter from a distant relative with whom I had lost contact many years ago, the head of the family who had just lost his father, and who sincerely asked each of us as a relative to help him financially get through the difficult situation. When I read this letter, I felt a little conflicted in my heart. On the one hand, I know that family support and support is very important and that I should help him. However, on the other hand, I also have some puzzles, my business has faced many ups and downs over the years, and his family has always been lucky, why didn't he look for help sooner?
When I presented the letter to my brother and the rest of the family, they had different ideas. My brother believes that financial assistance will bring family members closer together and bring them closer together. My sister thinks I should be more modest, because too much financial support won't solve the root problem. My sister-in-law stood by me and expressed her understanding of my doubts. This atmosphere of bickering under disagreement made me feel frustrated and helpless.
I realized that conflicts and disputes in the family are not solved overnight. Everyone has different values and positions, and the contradictions and disputes between us may not be caused by a single incident, but more of a collision of emotions and concepts that have been pent-up for a long time. The road ahead will be full of more unknowns and more challenges. Next, more things will happen in the family, new choices, new problems will arise. None of this was foreseen by me.
Many years have passed, and I still haven't gotten back the 20,000 dollars I lent him from my brother. I've always been a little lucky, or rather, I think this matter will be resolved satisfactorily after all. One day, however, I received a phone call that made me even more restless. On the other end of the line, my mom was crying, and she told me that something had happened in the house that she couldn't accept.
It turned out that my brother borrowed a large amount of money from my mother, saying that it was because of the difficulties at work and needed to take a break. My mother felt sorry for her child, so she reluctantly lent him all the pension she had accumulated for many years. However, a few months later, my brother quietly quit his job, saying that he wanted to pursue his dream. This not only made my mother feel heartache, but also couldn't accept this betrayal. Her tears also made me feel extremely distressed.
When I heard this, I was furious. I immediately approached my brother and asked him about borrowing money. But he said disapprovingly, "Aren't the people in the family just helping each other, and now that I'm in trouble, can't you help me?" Hearing his understatement, I angrily rebuked him and said that I would not borrow any more money from him. He said indifferently, "Okay, then I won't borrow it from you." I stood there stunned, with endless helplessness and anger surging in my heart.
This incident made me have deeper conflicts and entanglements with my family. I used to think that family members should tolerate each other and help each other, but when this affection was abused, I started to rethink all this. Now, I have to deal with these things well, and I can't just be accommodating and accommodating. I don't know what will happen next.
Soon, my younger brother had a lavish wedding at home. Although I did not approve of his extravagant demeanor, I did not openly express my dissatisfaction out of concern for my family and for the sake of the other family members' face. It wasn't until an accident at the wedding that I suddenly changed my principles.
My nephew drank too much at the wedding and became very presumptuous. He squandered money, regardless of everyone's emotions, showed affection, flaunted wealth, and even dragged my brother to talk with him. I was very angry at this behavior, and I felt that it was a blatant squander of the family's wealth. I used to be Xi to forbearance, but this time I chose to firmly oppose it.
This incident changed the way I deal with family conflicts. I don't want to put up with it anymore, I want to stick to my bottom line. But at the same time, the incident also sparked discontent within the family, making family relations even more strained.