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My name is Zhang Yufeng, I am 62 years old this year, I have been working as a worker in a small factory for decades, and I finally retired last year. After I retired, I lived alone, my son worked in other places, my daughter Zhang Xiaomei was married, and I lived in the city with my son-in-law Li Jianjun.
Over the years, I have lived a simple life, my children have gone out to work, I am alone at home watching TV, doing housework, and occasionally getting together with old friends to chat. Many retired workers, like me, have children who have started families, and we seniors live a leisurely life in the community, chatting with each other to pass the time.
My daughter, Zhang Xiaomei, has been married for five years, and her husband, Li Jianjun, works as an accountant for a foreign company. I heard my daughter say that Li Jianjun is very busy with work, but she is very good to her, and he is a simple and responsible person. I have met my son-in-law a few times, and he has made a good impression on me, he seems to be honest and dedicated, and he is very good to my daughter.
Last week, my daughter called me and told me that she had been very busy at work recently and did not have time to clean up the house, so I asked me to go to her house to help clean up for a few days. I was happy to go over and help, and I was able to go to my daughter's house for a few days.
I said, "You go to work, I am at home, you can rest assured that you can go to your work, and I will clean up at home." ”
The daughter said, "Mom, then you can take a lunch break, I'll come back in the afternoon and we'll clean up together." ”
After my daughter went to work, I took a nap in my room. When I woke up, I started tidying up the house. I started with my daughter's bedroom, made the bed, put away the clothes, and swept the floor.
As I was tidying up, I accidentally saw a notebook on my son-in-law Li Jianjun's desk. On the cover of that book was the words "Ledger". I was a little curious, so I opened it and looked at it.
The notebook was densely filled with numbers, and some of them looked like records from a bank ledger. I took a cursory glance and found that it was full of numbers, transfer records, and withdrawals
cash records, etc. These numbers are very large, and at first glance they are a record of transactions involving a lot of money.
I was a little puzzled, thinking to myself that my son-in-law was working as an accountant in a company, so why did he still have such complicated accounts to record in private? Could it be that he was doing some business outside the company? Is such a large amount of accounts really just to help others keep accounts?
All kinds of questions appeared in my mind, and I had a bad premonition. The accounts looked suspicious, and I began to wonder if my son-in-law was involved in something illegal.
Just when I was struggling, my son-in-law Li Jianjun suddenly went home.
"Mom, how are you tidying up? Li Jianjun greeted me with a smile.
I was a little panicked, but I also smiled and replied, "Oh, you're almost packed, you're back." ”
"Did you see the ledger?" When he saw me holding the notebook in my hand, his face suddenly changed.
"Well, I'll just look through it, what kind of accounts are you keeping?" I asked him tentatively.
"It's nothing, just some friends asked me to help keep the accounts. Li Jianjun's face was a little ugly, and his attitude was very tough.
I thought his reaction was strange, and I was even more convinced that it was certainly not easy. I plucked up the courage to continue asking, "Do you remember all the complicated accounts for your friends?"
"You're in too much hands! This is my private matter, and I don't need to report it to you!" Li Jianjun seemed to be a little angry.
"I just care about you and Xiaomei, it won't be good if you get involved in something illegal. I don't think these accounts are quite right, and you tell me the truth, what the hell is going on?" I insisted on asking.
"I'll leave you alone! What the hell do you want? This is a private matter between me and my friend, and I don't need to explain it to you!" Li Jianjun's tone hardened, and his attitude was very unfriendly.
"I have a responsibility to care for my daughter! If something goes wrong in your family, what will Xiaomei do? You explain it to me!" I raised my voice.
"Go away, leave me alone!" Li Jianjun suddenly jumped like thunder, one
He yelled at me.
I was taken aback by his reaction, I didn't expect his attitude to be so tough, it was like a different person.
"Calm down, I'm concerned about Xiaomei, what's the use of you jumping like this?" I tried to calm myself down.
"I also asked you for Xiaomei's sake! If you don't explain such a suspicious account, how can I rest assured?" I also raised my voice.
"My accounts have nothing to do with you, and you are not qualified to ask me about my private affairs!"
"Then I'll go directly to Xiaomei and see what she says!"
"You dare!"
Li Jianjun and I got into a heated quarrel, and neither let anyone. I was very confused, and things went out more than I could have imagined. I am even more convinced that Li Jianjun is hiding something, otherwise he would not be so tough.
While we were arguing, Xiaomei returned.
"What's wrong with you? Xiaomei looked at us in surprise.
After listening to this, Xiaomei smiled unexpectedly: "Mom, you misunderstood." That ledger was Jianjun helping a relative with business accounts, which was not illegal. ”
I was surprised and asked, "Really, but the accounts are so complicated, and there is so much money involved, is it just to help people keep the accounts?"
Li Jianjun also explained at this time: "Auntie, I didn't want to tell you this, because it was a friend's private matter. I was helping a relative with the bookkeeping of his business, and the amount was really large, but nothing out of the ordinary. ”
I was still a little puzzled: "Then why didn't you just tell me directly, and you still lost your temper?"
Li Jianjun said: "I think this is my friend's privacy, and it is inconvenient to tell you." Please forgive me for my bad attitude just now, I'm in a hurry. ”
Xiaomei helped to persuade: "Mom, this is indeed Jianjun's friend's private matter, and you shouldn't just look through other people's things." Jianjun is just a little anxious, so don't take it to heart. ”
After Xiaomei and Li Jianjun's explanations, I realized that I was overthinking and misunderstood my son-in-law. I apologized to them in embarrassment and repeatedly promised that I would not rummage through other people's belongings in the future.
This is how the matter was revealed. But I still felt a little reluctant in my heart, feeling that I had misunderstood my son-in-law and caused trouble to him and my daughter.
"Jianjun, I'm really sorry about yesterday's incident, I shouldn't have casually looked at your things, and I shouldn't have been suspicious casually. As a mother, I'm a little overly sensitive and worried. Can you forgive me?"
Li Jianjun smiled and said: "Auntie, you are polite, this is also my fault, I should tell you directly that it is not a strange account, and you should not lose your temper." I understand your good intentions, and let's not talk about it again. ”
"Thank you for your understanding. I also want to talk to you, you see if Xiaomei has been working too hard lately, I don't think she is in a very good state. "I changed the subject and became concerned about my daughter's recent condition.
"Xiaomei is really busy, and I advised her to pay attention to her body, but she said that there are many things that she needs to do at work. I tried to help her with some of the burden at home, and she said that I had taken good care of her. Li Jianjun said.
"Then you also have to pay attention to your body, don't work too hard. I think you young people are working too hard, and you need to relax properly. I admonished.
"Thank you Auntie for your concern, I'll take notice. You should also take care of yourself. ”
"By the way, when are you going to have a baby? I'm waiting to hold my grandson!" I asked with a smile.
"This, maybe wait for Xiaomei's work to stabilize, the child is still too much pressure for her. Li Jianjun was a little hesitant.
"Yes, I'll just ask casually, you can make your own decisions. I just want to hold my grandson as soon as possible. I laughed.
"Rest assured, there will be. Li Jianjun also smiled.
My time at my daughter's house has passed very quickly these days, and my relationship with my son-in-law has eased a lot. I was worried that this misunderstanding would have an impact on my daughter's family, but now it seems that it has been explained clearly and there is no bad impact.
Respect her privacy as well.
"Mom, you've worked hard these days, and the house is really clean. Xiaomei said with a smile.
"This is what I should do, you and Jianjun are so busy, I should take care of you. I said.
"I'm sorry, Mom, I'm so busy during this time that I don't have time to spend with you. Xiaomei blamed herself a little.
"I understand that you are busy with work, and it doesn't matter if I'm alone. As long as you and Jianjun are doing well. ”
"Mom, thank you anyway. Come and help me clean up my house this time, I know you're a good guy. The previous incident also made you misunderstand Jianjun, I'm really sorry. Xiaomei brought up the account book again.
"Let's not mention it, it's me who is too worried. Don't worry, I won't be casually suspicious of Jianjun, and I won't rummage through your things. I know he's been nice to you. I hastened to say.
"Well, Jianjun is very good to me, you can rest assured. I like my life now. Xiaomei had a happy smile on her face.
"That's good. Mom, as long as I see you happy, I'm relieved. You and Jianjun are both adults and have their own lives, so I shouldn't interfere too much. ”
"Thank you Mom, I'm so glad you treat me with such respect. I will take care of myself, and you should also pay attention to your body at home. ”
"Okay, okay, I see. You'll have time to go home and see me. ”
"Mom, definitely. ”
I hugged my daughter and prepared to leave. Before leaving, Li Jianjun also came to see me off and expressed his gratitude again. I agreed with the two of them to keep in touch often, and then I took the car home.
This experience at my daughter's home made me realize that I need to learn to understand and respect my daughter's life. She's got a family and has a husband of her own, and I shouldn't discipline her like a child anymore. I have to learn to let go and trust my daughter's ability to take care of herself.
This is also a sign of maturity.
Back at home, I was alone and quietly reflecting on what inspired me from this experience.
As a mother, of course, I care about my daughter's life, but too much care and intervention may cause her trouble. She is already an independent individual with her own judgments, and I need to learn to respect her.
This time, I casually looked through my son-in-law's private belongings, which almost caused a misunderstanding in the relationship between the two families, which was really inconsiderate. Although out of concern for her daughter, trust and privacy are also important. I can't just meddle in my daughter's family because of maternal love.
Fortunately, this misunderstanding was resolved and did not cause further trouble. This is a wake-up call for me to change the old way of thinking about disciplining my children and learn to understand and respect my daughter's choices. She chose a good husband, and I should trust her instead of doubting her.
In the past two days, I have made several phone calls to my daughter to talk about daily life and my son-in-law's work. I tried to make my tone seem relaxed and easy-going, no longer overly concerned about my daughter's privacy, and she had a good chat. I think our relationship is slowly becoming more equal.
At my age, I should indeed learn to let go and stop looking at my adult daughter from a mother's perspective. She has a life and family of her own, and I should be her friend, not a finger-pointing mother.
This experience made me realize my own problems and taught me valuable life lessons. I will slowly learn to let go and believe that my daughter can take charge of her own life and live her own life. At the same time, I also need to plan my retirement life well, enjoy the joy of family life, and not rely too much on my children.