My life is like an insurmountable mountain, and I need to be careful with every step, for fear that if I stumble, I will slide into the abyss.
I don't know how many years I have been with the old man in the family, he is seventy-seven years old, and his old body seems to be an ancient dead leaf, which may drift away at any time.
Our relationship with each other is like the torrent and turbulence of a river, sometimes gentle and soft, like a spring flowing, sometimes like a thunderstorm, and the wind roars uncontrollably.
Our relationship is full of ups and downs and tribulations. I often had to put up with his attitude, and I often stood on his side in matters and lived like a year.
For example, one time, I didn't set up the room according to his wishes, and he not only became angry, but also yelled, saying that it was a lot of trouble to hire such a nanny.
That day, after he scolded, I stood quietly aside, full of grievances and guilt. When he saw that I was silent, he became even more angry: "What are you doing standing here with this useless thing? Hurry up and pack all this for me!"
I nodded, wiped away my tears, and silently tidied up his room spotlessly, but my heart was sour and astringent.
This kind of life is really difficult, and I don't know how many grievances and injustices I have to endure to get along with him.
Still, I'm grateful to him. After all, he has never treated me badly in life, his salary has always been paid on time, and he has always been very caring and caring when he is sick.
His children were all away early, and he was the only one who stayed at home, facing the heat and endless emptiness of the world.
In my heart, I may still be resentful and wronged, but in my heart I am more understanding and tolerant of him.
Perhaps, only when I really let go of the burden in my heart, really listen with my heart, and feel with my heart, can I find a trace of sweetness and warmth in life.
This contradiction did not happen in a day or two. Once, when I was cooking, I accidentally cut my hand, and it hurt so much that I took a breath of cold air.
However, I still endured it and silently endured his reproach.
In the days that followed, our contradictions intensified. Once, he soiled his old belongings and accused me of not cleaning properly, and I was taught a lesson.
After all these experiences, I began to question myself, why did I have to endure his scolding and criticism all the time, for that meager salary?
At first, I didn't realize that this was just a flaw in our relationship. However, another paradoxical event occurred.
Suddenly, he said to me with an old photo that had faded: "Look, this is a picture of me when I was younger, when I was with my wife and children.
I watched him, and he was smiling brightly, his young wife sitting next to him, and his two children smiling innocently.
His voice became muffled: "They're gone, my wife passed away when I was young, and the children are all grown up and living and working in other places.
I felt a slight sympathy that I hadn't felt in a long time, and I asked softly, "Surely you miss them?"
He spat out a sentence that seemed to be saying to himself: "Of course, I will always be concerned." In the next few days, the old man's temper became extremely strange, and he often suddenly became angry, and even began to neglect his diet and daily life.
I comforted him and cooked him his favorite meal, but he was as stubborn as a child and always ignored him.
However, despite my best efforts, the conflict between us has not been resolved. He noticeably became more stubborn and eccentric, and was often blunt towards me.
And I can only bear it silently, after all, he is an old man who needs my care.
This situation made my heart heavy, and I began to feel that life was full of endless contradictions and helplessness.
Perhaps, it can all be done slowly, and it will take more patience and time. Perhaps, in the days to come, I can find a way to break the deadlock.
In ordinary days, once the uncle suddenly fell ill and his mental state was a little sluggish, but he was a maverick and did not want me to take him to the hospital.
Maybe the illness made him irritable and agitated, but where do I go from here?
I know it's suffocating, but it's hard to let go. Family, after all, is a destined burden, and fate is a headache.
In the magnificent river of human growth, everyone has to face countless choices, maybe this is my trial.
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