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My name is Xiao Wang, I am 22 years old this year, and I am a young man who has just joined the work. My relationship with my mother has never been very good, she is very strict with me, and I have to listen to her unconditionally.
My mother controls my monthly salary, she only leaves me a small part of my living expenses, and she keeps the rest of the money. She also took my bank card and kept it. I have offered many times that I want to control my salary and bank cards by myself, but each time my mother strongly objected, saying that I was too young and casual, and that I had to listen to her arrangement.
A few days ago, I finally mustered up the courage to say to my mother, "Mom, I'm 22 years old, and I should learn how to manage my own money." You can't always control everything about me, I want to keep my bank card myself. ”
My mother immediately lost her temper: "You unfilial son! I manage your money like this for your own good, and you not only don't thank me, but ask me for a card! Do you think you have the ability to manage your own money now? I tell you, if you dare to ask for your own card, you will move out of this house immediately!"
I was angry and raised my voice and said, "Just because you have been controlling my money, I have always been like a child, I can't do anything on my own! I am an adult, I have the right to manage my own money!"
"You still dare to mention your rights to me?" My mother was even more angry, "I'm telling you, in my family, you have to listen to me! You are still dependent on me, without me, you are nothing!"
My mom and I got into a loud argument and we both got emotional and said a lot of nasty things. Eventually, my mother pushed me out of the door and slammed it slammed shut.
I was angry, but I felt like I had nowhere to go. I called my best friend, Xiaofang, and told her what had happened. Xiaofang comforted me and said, "Don't be discouraged, your mother may love you too much to treat you like this." But you also have your own ideas, I suggest you report the loss of the card first, you can't let your mother control your money forever. ”
At this time, a phone call broke my thoughts, it was my mother calling. I picked up the phone a little nervously, and my mother's voice sounded angry: "Xiao Wang, you ran to the bank and reported the loss of the card, right? You are doing these small actions behind your back, do you think I don't know?"
Before I could finish speaking, my mother interrupted me loudly: "Right? What kind of rights are you talking about when I raise you! Listen, if you don't go to the bank to unhang your card, don't go home tonight!"
"Mom!" I also raised my voice, "You can't do this, it's beyond your power!
"You!" Mom was so angry that she couldn't speak, and hung up the phone directly.
I was very angry and immediately called Xiaofang and told her what my mother had just said. Xiaofang advised me to calm down and not to confront my mother head-on. I said, "But I can't just let my mom control my life." I'm not a kid anymore, I have my own ideas and needs. ”
Xiaofang thought for a while and said, "It's better for you to go home and talk to your mother first, but your attitude should be softer, don't directly confront her." Explain your idea to her slowly and convince her to let you manage your cards and money yourself. ”
I thought Xiaofang's suggestion was good, so I went home and tried to communicate with my mother. But as soon as she saw me, my mother began to ask loudly: "Is the card unhooked? If not, get out of the house immediately!"
"Independence?" My mother sneered, "Without me, can you be independent?" Let me tell you, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be anything at all! You now depend on me for food and clothing, what qualifications do you have to talk about independence with me?"
My mom and I scuffled and the argument became more and more intense. While hitting me with her fist, my mother yelled loudly: "I have raised you for so many years, and now you dare to do it with me?!" You unfilial son, I am really blind as a mother, so I will raise such a son!"
As I dodged, I retorted loudly: "You did it first! I have always respected you, but you can't deprive me of my rights and freedoms!"
"Rights?freedom?" Mom was even more angry, "You don't have any rights and freedoms in my family! You have to listen to me, you have to do what I say!"
The two of us scuffled fiercely, and we knocked over everything in the house. Eventually, my mom slapped me dizzy, pushed me out the door, threw my luggage out, and slammed the door slammed.
I was so angry that I felt like I had nowhere to go. Luckily I rented a small room as a studio and I had to stay there first. I called Xiaofang and explained the situation. Xiaofang sympathized with me, but also said that she couldn't help me for the time being.
I don't want to throw in the towel, but I don't know what to do. I messaged a few friends to see if anyone could take me in for a few days. But most of my friends still live with their parents, so they can't take me in directly.
I had to live in the studio for the past few days, and I was very angry and disappointed with my mother. I thought my mother should be able to understand me and give me freedom slowly. But now it seems like she's always been like I'm a child.
After a few days, I calmed down and began to reflect on what I had done. I think that although my mother's approach is excessive, after all, she is my mother, and I should communicate with her well and not escalate the conflict. So I called my mom and wanted to find a chance to meet and talk.
But my mother hung up on me. I hit a few more times, but she just hung up, not giving me a chance to explain at all. Now I was even more anxious and decided to go directly to the house to talk to my mother.
I rang the doorbell, and after a long while, my mother opened the door, and when she saw that it was me, her face immediately sank.
I cautiously said, "Mom, can we talk? I want to talk to you." ”
Mom said coldly, "What else do you have to say? Didn't you say it very clearly last time?"
I hurriedly said, "Mom, I know you're doing it for my good, but as an adult, I also have my own thoughts. Let's sit down and talk slowly, okay? Don't be so stiff. ”
Mom snorted and turned to leave, but I hurriedly grabbed her and said, "Mom, please, just give me a chance to explain, okay?"
My mother reluctantly let me into the house, and we sat on the sofa in the living room. I said tentatively: "Mom, I know that a lot of unpleasant things have happened during this time, and I am not right first, but I am also forced to do this. I really don't want to fight against you, but I hope you can understand me and give me a little autonomy. ”
Mom sneered: "Autonomous space? What kind of autonomy do people who depend on me to feed themselves talk about? You can earn money to support yourself!"
"Mom, I'm already working, and I'm paying rent and living expenses every month. I explained, "I'm not trying to cut ties with you, but I want us to be equal adults, and you let me learn to be independent instead of treating me like a child forever." ”
Mom was silent, and after a long while, she said, "I've worked hard to bring you up since I was a child, and I just don't want you to suffer." But you have to make your own decisions now, okay, you can go by yourself, but don't come back to me crying!"
I saw that my mother's attitude had softened a little, and I quickly persuaded: "Mom, I also know that you have always loved me very much, so you will be like this." But you have to trust my own judgment and believe that I can be on my own. I'm going to learn to be independent, right?"
Mom still looked indifferent: "If you want to be independent, go ahead, as long as you earn money to support yourself, I won't care about you." But you still depend on me for support, so you must listen to me!"
I saw that my mother still didn't believe me, so I persuaded in another way: "Mom, I will support myself in the future, don't worry." But now, can you trust me for once, give me my bank card and payroll card, and let me try to manage it myself for a while? If I really can't do it well, you can take back control. Do you think you can?"
Mom was silent for a long time, and finally nodded slowly: "It's okay,
Mom was silent for a long time, and finally nodded slowly: "It's okay, just a month, a month to see your performance, if you really can't manage it yourself, I will still take back control." ”
I was so happy that I quickly said, "Thank you mom for trusting me!" I will definitely try my best to prove to you that I can do it myself!"
Although my mother agreed, there was still no expression on her face. She went to the room and took out my bank card and salary card and handed them to me: "Just one month, I will observe you, I will get it back at any time if you don't behave well." ”
I nodded solemnly and carefully accepted the card: "I know Mom, I will manage it well, I will report my expenses to you regularly, and I will not spend money indiscriminately." ”
Mom didn't speak, just gave me a cold look. I know she's still upset, but at least she's given me a chance.
For the next month, I was in a state of fear. I didn't dare to spend money indiscriminately, I only spent the necessary part of my living expenses, and saved the rest to report to my mother. I would report the bill to my mom every week, and she didn't say anything even though she didn't look good.
A month passed, and I sorted out all the bills for this period and printed them out to prepare for the report to my mother. I was nervous, for fear that my mother would take back my card if she was not satisfied.
On the day of the report, I sat across from my mother and reported my income and expenditure for this period one by one. Mom's face was gloomy and she listened without saying a word. After I finished the report, I looked at my mother cautiously and waited for her evaluation.
After a long while, my mother spoke: "It's okay, I didn't expect you to know moderation when you spend money." But a month is too short to see what you're really capable of. Just extend it for another two months, and I'll still keep an eye on you. ”
I breathed a sigh of relief and hurriedly said, "Thank you mom for giving me another chance! ”
After that, I continued to work hard to save on living expenses and regularly reported the bills to my mother. After another two months, my mother still didn't take back my card, although her face was still bad. I finally felt that my mother's distrust of me was slowly decreasing, which gave me a lot of encouragement.
I am determined to continue to work hard to earn my mother's trust and understanding through my actions. I believe that as long as I prove myself slowly, my mother will one day completely let go and let me live an independent life on my own. There is still a long way to go, but I know that as long as I don't give up, I will definitely achieve my goal.
Through my own efforts, I finally won a certain amount of trust from my mother, who allowed me to manage my own money. But I knew it would take a little longer to fully convince my mom that I was an adult and could be completely independent.
I continued to work hard to minimize my reliance on my mom's funding. At the same time, I also took the initiative to take care of my mother's life and express my filial piety. For example, I would go home regularly to visit my mom and give her gifts on her birthday or holidays.
One time I came home, and I brought my mom her favorite snacks and fruits. When my mother saw me, although she didn't smile on her face, her tone softened significantly: "Why did you suddenly remember to buy these things and come back?"
I smiled and said, "Mom, I don't miss you anymore, buy something you like and come back to see you." It's lonely for me to live alone. ”
Mom said "um", and then said, "Okay, you can sit down, I'll go to the kitchen and pour you a glass of water." ”
This was the first time my mother had taken the initiative to do something for me, and I was very relieved to see her change in attitude.
Later, I would often go home to visit my mother, tell her how I was doing, and sometimes tell her interesting stories about my work. Mom's face is getting better and better, and occasionally she cares about me.
Once, my mother suddenly said, "By the way, last time you said that the department was going to promote a supervisor, what happened?"
I was stunned for a moment, and immediately said, "Mom, do you remember! I was promoted, and now I am the head of our department." I have to thank my mother for teaching me all the time, so that I have perseverance and perseverance to get this opportunity. ”
Mom smiled rarely: "That's good, it seems that it is not all meaningless for me to discipline you before." As a supervisor yourself, you should pay attention, don't be too confident, and be humble and cautious. ”
"Got it, Mom!" I said happily, "With you always mentioning it, I will do my job." ”
Over time, my mother's attitude towards me has changed a lot. She no longer kept an eye on me and no longer questioned my decisions. I could feel that she was finally starting to believe that I was old enough to be on my own.
I was amazed: "Mom, how can this be? I can earn money to support myself, and I don't need you to support me anymore." ”
The mother shook her head and said, "As a mother, it is right to help your son."