Zhou Lanjun, a female college student, was 23 years old when she starred in a blind date show in 2014, and she was in the mood for love.
Her father was an engineer in a state-owned enterprise, and his family was relatively well-off.
When she was a child, she was unable to attend the school of her choice due to financial reasons, and her desire for money was planted.
Perhaps because of this upbringing, she longs to achieve a class jump through marriage and live a more affluent life than she has now.
Zhou Lanjun has the conditions that make her confident: a college entrance examination score of more than 140 points, she can be admitted to 211 University but did not go in the end, and she is currently studying at Zhejiang Gongshang University.
She also has illusions about her appearance, believing that her height, weight, education and economic conditions can be worthy of the 50 million rich second generation. However, Zhou Lanjun's appearance is not outstanding, and his personality is not very pleasing.
Some psychological tests arranged for her by the program team showed that she had a relatively strong desire to control and dominate. Zhou Lanjun is actually vaguely aware that his external self-confidence cannot reflect his inner self-confidence, so he desperately hopes to obtain the support of material conditions by marrying into a wealthy family.
It can be seen that she is both materially and spiritually eager to rely on someone stronger than herself to live. This mindset is bound to hit a wall when it comes to reality.
During the recording of the show, Zhou Lanjun participated in two blind dates. The male guest who went on a blind date for the first time was a rich second generation who really met her standards. When the two met, Zhou Lanjun was excited and nervous, and began to be a little at a loss, picking up the fruit plate alone and eating it, before waiting for the male guest.
In the course of the subsequent conversation, she frequently expressed her strong personality, her requirements for the male guest's parents and her desire to play the role of a housewife in the future.
This makes it difficult for the rich second generation in front of him to accept, and he hopes that his other half can be empathetic and care about his family. In the end, he bluntly said that there was a gap between Zhou Lanjun and his own life philosophy, and stood up and said that the future may not be compatible.
At this time, Zhou Lanjun's face stiffened, and he was stunned in place, and it took a long time to come back to his senses. She didn't expect that the blind date she had carefully prepared for a long time would end in this way.
Seeing this, the program team re-found a blind date for her for the second time. This time it was a financial manager with an annual income of more than one million. When the two first met, Zhou Lanjun was obviously not satisfied with the other party's education and temperament.
She repeatedly emphasized her top college entrance examination results, wanting to suppress the other party at the mental level. Subsequently, the financial manager enthusiastically said that he could help her find opportunities to enter the entertainment industry.
But Zhou Lanjun couldn't understand his kindness at all, and instead ridiculed him for pretending to be fooled. Finally she finished the second time haughtily, turned and left the restaurant.
When this blind date show was broadcast, Zhou Lanjun's various performances were seen by the audience. Her arrogant, unreasonable, materialistic side is fully exposed and draws criticism.
As a client, she will read the relevant comments as soon as possible. In the face of the fierce remarks of netizens, her heart was also full of grievances and incomprehension at first. In her opinion, her own conditions are not bad, and there is nothing wrong with being the right person.
But the number of comments is increasing, and the condemnation in the words is becoming more and more clear, which makes Zhou Lanjun's inner defense line shaken. She began to reflect on how her own overly arrogant and unrealistic demands would give others.
Moreover, there are some girls of her age in the comments, most of whom express their incomprehension and disgust. Zhou Lanjun realized that in these people, the image he showed was too poor.
If this continues, I am afraid it will be difficult to gain the recognition and acceptance of others. This thought made her want to change. So, with the encouragement of the program team, she reappeared and issued an apology.
She said that she was deeply saddened by the shortcomings and misconceptions she had shown due to her lack of social experience, and that she would reflect on and correct her words and deeds from now on. This determination to repent stemmed from her inner desire to be accepted by society.
After apologizing, Zhou Lanjun gradually faded out of public view. She returned to her hometown to start her own company, and she also gained psychological balance through work. Now she enjoys literary and artistic life in her spare time, and has learned to sincerely interact with people from different walks of life, and has grown.
As a post-90s girl, Zhou Lanjun's experience was not unique in her time. Some girls who have just left school are full of unwarranted yearning and longing for things like "marrying into a wealthy family" in their ignorance.
They have received 12 years of compulsory education, but they are inexplicably looking forward to and relying on the future direction of their marriage, hoping to change the trajectory of their lives in one fell swoop. But compared with Zhou Lanjun, most of their families have worse economic conditions, and their external conditions and education are not optimistic.
So when they see that Zhou Lanjun doesn't meet her wishes, these girls may feel disappointed and sad. In this sense, Zhou Lanjun's experience also made others understand the reality that it is actually difficult to achieve material security by blindly expecting to be attached to a "gold master".
They need to receive more comprehensive education and guidance on campus, including the cultivation of independent personality consciousness, as well as rational thinking and planning for important issues such as future marriage and career.
This will lead to a more positive outlook in their lives.
Zhou Lanjun's experience is inspiring, and the concept of "strength attractiveness" when choosing a partner is worthy of praise. In fact, many girls ignore their own improvement when pursuing marriage, which is often difficult to achieve in reality.
Trading colors to trick the other person into accepting themselves often results in disappointing results. So, as a woman, how to attract the ideal partner through her own strength? First of all, you must have the ability to be independent.
Have your own career or ambition and don't need to rely on others financially so that you can take the initiative in your relationship. Secondly, it is necessary to maintain a comfortable personal charm, read more, study, exercise, practice dance, etc.
All your efforts will become a plus for you to attract the ideal object. Finally, instead of worrying about the status of the so-called family, it is better to focus more on mutual understanding, consideration, and support.
This kind of posture and mentality makes it easier to gain the favor and recognition of the other party. Of course, "strength is attractive" does not mean that it is necessary to pay unilaterally. But it will put you in a better position in the marriage process and make it more likely that you will start a harmonious marriage.
Through this incident, we can realize that life cannot be relied on by mountains, nor can we rely on others. If you want to live your ideal life, you still have to rely on your own hands and wisdom in the end.
Others can only give short-term comfort or support, and will not change anything in the long run. This is just like the blind date experienced by Zhou Lanjun, even if she "marries into a wealthy family" as she wishes, it is difficult to say that her future life will be happy.
She may face just as many family conflicts and worries. Therefore, as an individual, self-improvement, self-reliance, and composure are also the most important for the quality of future life.
In addition, we also need to learn to understand, considerate and encourage each other in interpersonal interactions. Don't dismiss a person because of a slight mistake or failure, and don't attack and criticize at every turn.
These warm and harmonious qualities will make our lives happier and happier from the inside out. I hope that the majority of young people can be positive and enjoy the wonderful process of life.