1. Overview of the case
In 2021, Li Ping and Xu Li fell in love during their work together and confirmed their relationship. They once lived together sweetly, but the good times were short-lived. In July 2022, due to family factors and Li Ping's failure to pass the preparation exam, the two agreed to temporarily separate. Xu Li said that if Li Ping can pass the preparation exam and be officially hired by the unit, she will consider reuniting with Li Ping.
Unfortunately, Li Ping did not pass the exam and was not hired as a regular employee. As a person who loves Xu Li deeply, he has found Xu Li many times, hoping to get back together. Xu Li was ambiguous at first, but eventually refused. If a person misses the opportunity for the official organization and suffers a setback in his feelings, does Li Ping fall into confusion and despair? This is the reason for the tragedy.
In February 2023, a twist suddenly appeared. Li Ping learned from his colleagues that Xu Li not only blocked his contact information, but also publicly claimed that he had a new boyfriend. For Li Ping, who is deeply emotional, this is undoubtedly a heavy blow. This night, the pain in his heart prompted him to come to Xu Li's residence late at night, hoping that the two could see each other for the last time. However, Xu Li refused to meet, and Li Ping became emotional and committed suicide by jumping off the fire escape downstairs of her house. He was only in his 30s, and he left in a hurry, leaving his old parents alone with regrets. Is this what "love is too deep to contain"?
Progress of the case
In July 2023, Li Ping's parents, who had lost their only son, decided to sue Xu Li. They believe that it was Xu Li's repeated actions that caused their son to go to a dead end and should be held responsible. So they filed a lawsuit with the court for infringement of the right to life, demanding that Xu Li pay a total of 350,000 yuan for various losses such as spiritual solace.
This emotional case of human life has touched the hearts of the local people. Some people stood on the side of Li Ping's parents and scolded Xu Li for being ruthless; Some people also defended Xu Li, arguing that she should not be held responsible. The two sides are facing each other and arguing endlessly. Will this case turn into an ugly incident of online violence? Mediation becomes the key to resolving disputes.
2. First court hearing
Plaintiff's claim
At the first court session, Li Ping's parents (plaintiffs) were emotional. They repeatedly stressed that Xu Li had repeatedly spoken ill of the plaintiff's mother to Li Ping during their relationship, and encouraged Li Ping to leave the house in the future. It can be seen that their prejudices and prejudices against their daughter-in-law may be one of the reasons for the young couple's breakup.
The plaintiff also cited a large number of chat logs that were not very relevant to the case, and added his own speculative reasoning. They must have decided that this was all evidence that Xu Li had killed her son. The judge did not stop the plaintiffs from doing so, but allowed them to vent their long-suppressed emotions in court. This will be of great benefit to future mediation.
The defendant denied liability
Surprisingly, the defendant Xu Li did not appear in court. She was represented by an elderly and experienced female lawyer. The female lawyer started from a legal point of view, listening carefully and defending gently. She analyzed the relationship between the two parties and showed that Xu Li did not have legal fault in this process, and should not bear any economic or legal responsibility for the choice of lovers.
The trial made people see the pain of parents who lost their only child, and also made people understand the plight of a girl. How to find a balance between the two opposite emotions? This became the focus of the judge's work in the future.
3. Post-trial mediation
The judge chooses mediation
Judge Lan Liqun had an in-depth exchange with all parties after the trial and reviewed similar cases. She realized that the verdict would not be satisfactory to both parties in any case, and that only mediation could resolve the conflict. So she called in lawyers for both parties to discuss with them how to move forward with mediation.
Gradually close the gap
Through the communication between the lawyer and the client, the judge learned the bottom line of both parties: the plaintiff could accept 100,000 yuan, while the defendant agreed to pay a maximum of 50,000 yuan. Therefore, she adopted a step-by-step approach: first, not in a hurry, give both parties some time to calm down, and then use a lawyer to get concessions from both parties. This "cold treatment" method has achieved certain results: after the National Day holiday, the defendant agreed to increase the compensation amount to 50,000 yuan, and the gap with the plaintiff was narrowed to 50,000 yuan. The judge decided to seize this opportunity to arrange for the parties to meet and mediate in person. But the defendant's lawyer secretly told me that Xu Li was only willing to compensate 5,000 yuan. Based on my last contact with the defendant, I did not immediately contact the defendant to do mediation work, but changed my mind and worked through her lawyer.
4. Face-to-face mediation
Emotional catharsis
Before the "face-to-face" mediation, the judge first uses a "back-to-back" method to communicate with both parties separately and listen to their respective claims. After listening to the plaintiff's parents tell how much they miss their deceased son, the judge expressed his understanding, patted her on the shoulder to soothe her emotions, and brought her a glass of warm water.
Defendant Xu Li also opened her heart and expressed her grief. It turned out that she was also tormented by the loss of this relationship. In the face of suspicion, she did not dare and could not bear to visit her deceased lover and his family.
Break the ice and forgive each other
Seeing that the attitudes and emotions of both parties had softened, the judge decided to arrange a "face-to-face" direct mediation. This was the turning point of the whole case.
Faced with the girl who might have become her daughter-in-law, the plaintiff's mother asked with red eyes: "Why are you so ruthless? After Li Ping died, I didn't see you come to see us...... We just want a statement. ”
The defendant Xu Li couldn't hold back her emotions, and tears burst out of her eyes: "Auntie, I'm also sad...... I will always remember Li Ping, and I will never be able to forgive myself......"
A choked "auntie" touched the old man in front of him. Only then did she realize that the girl was also going through a painful metamorphosis.
"In any case, we hope you have a good life in the future. Seeing that the misunderstanding and suspicion between the two sides was subsiding, the judge seized the opportunity to pull the two hands together and signal a handshake.
1. Successful mediation
The mediation of this case lasted two months, and the process was full of twists and turns. In the face of the deterioration of the relationship between the plaintiff and the defendant, Judge Lan Liqun did not give up lightly, but tenaciously tried to resolve the dispute. After the first unsuccessful trial, she knew that she had to start with the emotions of the parties in order to break the deadlock. So she listened patiently, put herself in the shoes of both parties, and gradually tried to make concessions through the lawyers. When the focus of the controversy dropped from 350,000 to 50,000, she accurately seized the opportunity and called for a two-sided talk, hitting the sore spot and untying the knot.
The four-hour face-to-face mediation was full of ups and downs, and the atmosphere fell into a stalemate many times. This "tug-of-war" is exhausting. However, in the end, with the hard work of the judge, the two parties put aside their prejudices, forgave each other and misunderstandings, and successfully reached a settlement. At the moment of signing the mediation letter, the judges and court officers were relieved and happily hugged each other. They were grumbling with hunger for missing lunch, but they didn't mind it in the slightest—for the joy of reconciliation far outweighed it all.
II. Judges' Professional Perceptions
This tort dispute case of love and hatred was finally resolved satisfactorily under the mediation of the judge, which gave Judge Lan Liqun a deep professional insight. She pondered that judges and bailiffs were busy running between the courtroom and the negotiating table, working tirelessly to resolve disputes and turn hostilities into friendships. It's a challenging job, but it's also immense in terms of professional satisfaction and fulfillment.
Mr Justice Lan was of the view that promoting mediation may bring a greater sense of accomplishment than making a judgment. Because mediation is the result of the parties' initiative to compromise and adapt, it helps to resolve conflicts and rebuild harmony. The emotional interaction and psychological communication generated in mediation can also heal people's inner wounds more than rigid legal rules.
Therefore, judges should think from the standpoint of the parties, and face everyone involved in the litigation with an attitude of tolerance, understanding and sincere listening. Listening with heart and resolving with affection is the magic weapon to break old grievances. Behind any seemingly intractable dispute there is an opportunity for resolution, and as long as both sides are relieved, the law of the country will naturally seek justice for the people.
Judge's perception
Through this emotional damages case, Judge Lan Liqun also has a new understanding of her profession. Pushing for mediation may be more rewarding than making a judgment. Because the result of mediation is the product of voluntary concessions between the two parties, it helps to resolve the conflict and achieve emotional reconciliation.
No matter how big or small the case is, the judge should be fully engaged and think from the perspective of the parties. Listen with your heart and resolve with emotion. Every seemingly intractable dispute actually leaves room for change. Just as this case was finally resolved satisfactorily, it is the true meaning of justice to turn hostility into peace and so that all parties can get a certain amount of comfort.
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