There are too many truths, and we need to understand them as we go.
It's a pity that the truth is understood too late, and it is always yourself who suffers.
Smart people know how to learn from others and not let similar situations happen to themselves.
If you are mixed in society and are too kind, then please correct it immediately and learn to be kind to yourself and your family.
If you refuse, although ruthless, it will make your life better and not make your family afraid.
01
Excessive kindness cannot be exchanged for gratitude.
A novelist once said, "Whoever is too enthusiastic increases the probability of not being cherished." ”
"On the contrary, you are very kind, you will not resist, and you will not do hurtful things", such an idea, once it enters the thinking of others, then whatever you do, you will be very passive. Others will judge you based on your words and deeds.
In the Spring and Autumn Period, Gongzicheng and Huabao of the Song Kingdom had a feud, and they met on the outskirts of the capital on a narrow road.
The leopard was a warrior and a well-known archer. He took out his bow and arrows, and pointed them at the city, and then he released them—and with a "whoosh" sound, the arrows flew past the city's ears, and they trembled with fear.
Seeing that, Hua Bao took out the second arrow, and Cheng suddenly thought: "Hua Bao attaches great importance to 'gentleman'. Then the city cried out, "Shame on you to do this." ”
Hua Leopard hesitated. Cheng shouted again: "You and I are both descendants of the Song Kingdom, although we are political enemies, we must also abide by the shooting salute of the office." According to the rules, you have already shot an arrow once, and next time it will be my turn......"
The leopard listened and put down the arrow. Cheng quickly pulled out an arrow and shot it into the leopard's chest.
古人云：“狭路相逢勇者胜。 ”
In the face of the enemy, it is obviously not feasible to use etiquette to restrain oneself and change from martial arts to "a gentleman who speaks but does not move".
The farmer and the snake talk about kindness, but the snake will not listen, but will only bite back;
Once kindness is given to the wrong person, it undoubtedly makes oneself appear ignorant.
As a middle-aged person, if it is your money, it will all be borrowed. You don't go to collect debts, you go to take out loans, and you lend money to others again, isn't this so that you will never turn over?
You always help some poor relative and give him money. But your relatives like to gamble, and your behavior is helping to abuse.
In addition, continuous kindness can also make people feel "taken for granted". As soon as you stop being kind, the other person will hold a grudge - this person is so vicious that he is not willing to give to the poor.
There is a good saying: "Many people tend to subjectively assume the thoughts and needs of others, and feel that the feelings and investments that apply to themselves must also apply to others." ”
You think that if you help others, you will make others stand up, and you will achieve the result of burning incense in a cold temple. Actually, it's your own thoughts. In the world, there are many people who are immoral and can't stick to the wall.
02
Only with sharp kindness can we help others and ourselves.
"Memories of the Scattered Stars" wrote: "Without the protection of the blade, the beauty of the world cannot bloom to the fullest; ”
Indeed, kindness is like a sharp sword, hidden in a scabbard. Anyone can touch the scabbard and appreciate the beauty of the scabbard.
Once someone provokes you, dare to unsheath your sword.
At the same time, you will also find that most swords are originally a double-edged sword, and when you hurt others, you will also hurt yourself, so you need to use them correctly to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.
On Zhihu, some netizens said that he and his classmates went to the cafeteria to eat and met an aunt with a cart.
In the cart, there are a lot of old books and scraps, it is heavy, and in front of it is a small slope.
Netizens subconsciously helped push the cart, turned over a small slope, and arrived at the main road.
Unexpectedly, the aunt had to push the cart to a higher place, and she had to cross several slopes in a row.
After pushing another slope, the netizen asked the cart to stop steadily, and then went to the cafeteria. I ignored my aunt's request again.
After a night, netizens also found themselves with low back pain. The classmates in the dormitory said, "You did this for yourself." ”
But netizens are very glad that they didn't help others to the end and know how to stop losses, otherwise their waists would really be sprained.
From the analysis of the real situation, the physical fitness of netizens is not suitable for carts, and helping needs to be rational; the aunt pushes the cart, feeling very difficult, its essence is making money, and overestimating its own strength, you can push it several times, and it will be loaded at one time; from the economic analysis, the aunt could have used an electric car to collect waste, but she is reluctant to increase the cost......
Really don't blame those who seem indifferent, it's also a kind not to help. If someone falls into the water, if you can't swim, don't jump into the water casually; if someone begs, don't give money casually to see if you are a professional beggar; if someone sells miserably, you don't pay attention to it, that's a routine.
Even if relatives and friends help, on the basis of mutual benefit, we must consider our own way out, and don't agree to everything.
Being yourself and being kind to yourself is also kindness. When you reach middle age, what you live well is the blessing of your family, and if you fall, your family will collapse.
03
When people reach middle age, kindness should be given to the right people.
The original meaning of kindness is that a tree shakes a tree, and a flower encourages a flower.
You need to find someone who is equally kind to help, and this kind of kindness is the best way to deliver goodness.
In the last years of the Qin Kingdom, a woman who rinsed her clothes gave half of her meal to the impoverished Han Xin. Later, Han Xin became the founder of the Western Han Dynasty and returned a lot of gold.
When the Ming Dynasty emperor Zhu Yuanzhang was young, several relatives in his family passed away, and there was no land to bury. A local landlord gave him a piece of land and some money. Later, Zhu Yuanzhang let the landlord's family be respected by the imperial court for generations.
We can help others without trying to reciprocate, but we can't help but feel sorry for ourselves, and we can't even hear a word of thanks. This is the bottom line of kindness.
Poor but ambitious scholars, smart people who need to find a job, poor people who are very rich at heart, people who are disabled and determined...... You'll be right to help.
04
When people reach middle age, they need to take history as a mirror and people as a mirror, and don't easily try to associate with bad people and get entangled with bad things.
There are some things that you have to go through, so be cautious at the beginning to avoid getting caught up in them.
I often tell myself: "Horses are good at being ridden, and people are good at being bullied." ”
In the face of the charm and charm in society, grasp the scale of being a person, further is a friend, and a step back is a stranger.
I can not hurt anyone, but I can't help but protect myself.
I burn and shine brightly, and I don't cause chaos to society, which is also goodwill.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.