Before reading this article, I sincerely invite you to click the "Follow" button, so that you can continue to push such articles in the future, and it is also convenient for you to discuss and share, your support is the driving force for us to insist on creating~
My name is Li Qiang, I am 55 years old, and I am an ordinary white-collar office worker.
"Hello, my name is Xiaofang, and I will be the front desk here from today. Xiao Fang greeted me very lively.
"Hello, I'm Li Qiang from the sales department. I replied a little shyly.
Since that day, I have found that I always subconsciously look at Xiaofang a few more times. There is a natural vigor and vitality in her that always catches my attention. Gradually, some people in the company joked that we were in a "eyebrow-to-eye" relationship. I found myself really tempted.
One day after work, I plucked up the courage to ask Xiaofang to have dinner with me. Unexpectedly, she readily agreed. We went to a petty bourgeois western restaurant and ordered a red wine steak. The two faced each other, and the atmosphere was a little ambiguous.
"Li Qiang, do you want to try to be with me?" Xiao Fang suddenly blushed and said such bold words.
I was a little surprised, but more ecstatic. That night we rolled into a bed and started a cheating romance. I rushed to Xiaofang's rental house every day after work, and we had crazy sex. Xiao Fang's body is really young and hot, and every time I go to bed with her, it makes me want to die. I was completely immersed in this love affair with a young and beautiful girl, and poured all my sincerity and passion into it.
I have a girlfriend, Xiaomei, and we are already engaged and are going to get married in two years. But this cheating relationship with Xiaofang made it difficult for me to extricate myself. Xiaomei is a gentle and considerate girl who treats me very well. But I just can't control my obsession with Xiaofang's body and spirit.
"Li Qiang, have you had a woman outside again recently? Why do you always work overtime and return late?" One day, Xiaomei suddenly asked me coldly.
I was panicked by the fact that I was having an affair. Although Xiaomei was angry, she finally believed my nonsense of lying to her. I am secretly glad that this relationship with Xiaofang can continue.
In this way, Xiaofang and I have been together for a whole year. The most memorable thing for me this year was Xiaofang's birthday, she finally turned 20 and became a real adult woman. That night, I prepared a cake to confess to her.
"Xiaofang, I'm very happy with you. Would you like to stay with me?" I said it from the bottom of my heart.
Just when I thought I could really get on the right track with Xiaofang, a phone call from her directly made my heart cold. She cried and told me that her family had already negotiated a marriage for her cousin, and that she had set a date for her next month. When I heard this, my whole body broke down, and I knelt in front of her and begged her not to leave me. Xiaofang was also in great pain, but she had no way to disobey her parents' arrangement.
30 years have passed in a flash, and the children have grown up, but I still remember the crazy love affair with Xiaofang when I was young. From time to time, I would make excuses to go on business trips, and then pass through Xiaofang's city to meet her in a hurry and reminisce about the bits and pieces of those years.
Until one day, I was chatting with her at Xiaofang's house, and suddenly I felt dizzy and fell directly to the ground. By the time I woke up, I was already in a hospital bed. The doctor told my family and I that I had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage and needed immediate surgery. Xiaomei, her children and Xiaofang all stood in front of the bed, and no one dared to act rashly.
I was so scared that I would die like this, and the last picture before I died was still Xiaofang. I looked at Mei with the last of my strength, trying to show her my apologies. At this moment, Xiaomei turned around and left with red eyes. My heart tightened, didn't she forgive me, and was there a chance to save my life? At the moment when Xiaomei turned around, her tears suddenly burst out of her eyes. She cried and fell to the ground, choked up and said, "Brother Qiang, how can you do this to me! I have spent thirty years of my youth, but you still can't get out of the past with her!"
My heart was like a knife, full of self-blame and guilt for sorry Xiaomei. I knew I owed her so much and that I didn't deserve her forgiveness.
"Mom, just forgive Dad for this last time, it's still too late to save him!" Li Xiao couldn't help but persuade her mother.
"Yes, you can sign it and the doctor will start the operation!" Li Feng also urged his mother anxiously.
Xiaomei cried on the ground for more than ten minutes before she slowly stopped her tears and stood up. She came to my bedside with red eyes, grabbed my hand, and said in a trembling but firm voice, "Okay, I'll sign it, save him!"
In my heart, I am extremely grateful to Xiaomei for this last forgiveness. The doctor immediately performed a craniotomy and I survived the life-threatening situation.
After sobering up, I said to Xiaomei apologetically, "I'm sorry, this is the last time I will break your heart." I swear I'll treat you and the child well in the future!"
Xiaomei nodded, and said with red eyes: "Then don't contact Xiaofang again in the future, and concentrate on accompanying me and the child!"
"I promise!" I shed tears of emotion.
After I was discharged from the hospital and went home, I deleted all of Xiaofang's contact information and cut off contact with her. I began to devote myself to work and family, trying to make up for my debt to my wife and children. Three months later, my body has basically recovered and my work is back on track.
However, at this time, I once again found an excuse to go out on a "business trip", and then secretly went to see Xiaofang. I know it's wrong, but I just can't control myself. When we are with Xiaofang, we will always unconsciously roll into bed and experience the old dreams of youth again.
This time it felt different. My mind was full of Xiaomei's painful look. I realized that I was not only hurting Mei, but also hurting myself. I had to face up to my problems and make up my mind to forget about Xiaofang and rebuild my family.
So I talked to Xiaomei again, knelt down to her and admit my mistake, and sincerely promised that this would be the last time. I begged her to give me a chance to do it all over again.
Xiaomei didn't choose to forgive me this time. She calmly filed for divorce from me. Our 30-year relationship was shattered like this.
This time, I truly realized that the pain of losing Xiaomei was far greater than the fear of my dying life. I regretted it and kept chasing Xiaomei back and asking for remarriage. With the mediation of the children, Xiaomei finally gave me another chance. I swear I'll never break her heart again in my life! Xiaomei agreed to remarry, and I was ecstatic. I promised her that as long as she was alone, I would never contact Xiaofang again.
However, people's hearts are unpredictable, and the good times do not last long. Within a few months, I was once again looking for an excuse to meet Xiaofang. I don't know what's wrong with me, my memory of Xiaofang is like a drug addiction that I can't quit.
This time, Xiaomei didn't give me any more opportunities to explain and justify, and directly asked me to get out of the house. I stood still, speechless.
"Dad, why can't you change the old one?" Li Feng said disappointedly.
"Mom, forget it, give Dad one last chance?" Li Xiao was still soft-hearted and pleaded for me.
"No! I've had enough! Your father's repeated words don't count, my feelings are not a joke. Xiaomei's attitude was very resolute this time.
I know that this time, I really lost Xiaomei. It turns out that what I thought was "loss" still has a turning point, and every time Xiaomei's compromise and tolerance are maintaining this crumbling home. Now I'm finally exhausted of her.
"I'm sorry, it's me who is bad. This time I really lost you. With red eyes, I apologized to Xiaomei. I know that no words can undo this situation.
Xiaomei wept silently, still shaking her head and saying that she would not forgive me. Li Feng and Li Xiao also choked up on the side. Thirty years of affection disappeared at this moment.
I've finally learned that people who cause harm can also be tortured. I don't know how to cherish Xiaomei's heart, hurt her again and again, and now I am reaping the consequences. I lost both her and my children's trust, and more importantly, I never had a chance to make it up to her.
Since then, Xiaomei has moved back to her parents' house and filed a divorce agreement. Li Feng and Li Xiao went back and forth between their parents with the mentality of persuading their mothers. And I blamed myself and reflected on the spot, and my life was confused.
It's time to be human again. For the sake of the family, but also for oneself. I decided to face up to my problem and seek help from a psychiatrist. Through a period of counseling and communication, I gradually realized the hidden psychological needs behind my behavior. I have never been able to fully engage in real life and have always escaped to the good old days in my memory. This dependence is unhealthy and hurts both myself and my family.
During this period of continuous self-reflection and growth, I felt a subtle change in the attitudes of Xiaomei and the children. At first, they were wary of me, and they were defensive in their words and eyes. But gradually, his tone began to soften, and his eyes softened. It was like a rain in ice water to me, and I knew I was starting on the right path.
I completely cut off contact with Xiaofang and deleted all past photos, videos, chat logs, etc., just to set a moral bottom line for myself and eliminate the possibility of cheating again. I don't travel anymore and spend all my spare time at work, gym and family. The body feels tired every day, but this feeling of joy in the midst of suffering is especially good.
During the Chinese New Year, Xiaomei finally agreed to let me go to her house to spend the holiday with the children. Although we were still "separated", the laughter of the reunion dispelled all the embarrassment and strangeness in the house. I know that this is the beginning of our rapprochement.
I didn't try to get back together, because everything I said and did now had to rebuild the trust of Mei and the children, and it would take a long time. Under the persuasion of the children several times, Xiaomei finally compromised. "Since it's , let's give it a try. That's what she said.
I would like to thank Mei for giving me another chance to correct my mistakes. Human nature, I can't guarantee that there will be no derailment in this life, but I will keep in mind this painful lesson, cherish the people in front of me, and grasp the happiness and satisfaction of the moment in time.
It's too much to miss, and it's too late not to recover it now; But there's a lot more now and a future that I have to grasp. This is life, always living in the moment. Xiaomei promised to get back together with me, and I was so excited that I was like a young man who was in love again. I was determined to let her see a new Li Qiang.
"Mom, I'm not mistaken, you're smiling!" Li Xiao was pleasantly surprised to notice the change in her mother's face.
"yes, it's been a long time since I've seen my mom smile like this. Li Feng was also very happy.
I am grateful for the understanding and support given by the children in our emotional journey. As parents, we do owe them so much companionship and love. This time, I want to correct my mistakes and work with Xiaomei to nurture the growth of the children.
Marriage is like an ocean, it can't be peaceful forever. But after the storm, we have become stronger. This crisis has made me reflect on my responsibilities as a husband and father and cherish the people in front of me. I am also understanding each other, and I see the infinite breadth behind Xiaomei's attempt to tolerate.
Gradually, we regained the sweetness of our youth, but this time, it was built on a more solid and deep foundation. We finally passed through the ups and downs of life in this marriage storm, arrived at the empty and flat land, and ushered in the wind and sun.
After that, we attended Li Feng's college graduation ceremony together and also attended Li Xiao's wedding. One by one, the children have grown up and started families. And Xiaomei and I are still tired of being together, even if the gray hair is gray, we are still so affectionate.
In the 55 years of my life, I have experienced too many ups and downs. But luckily, in the end, I was back where I started, back to the people I loved the most. After going through the wind and rain, you can see the rainbow, this is the wonderful part of life. I finally stopped running away and learned to find happiness in reality.