Hong Kong executives blew themselves up: spent 60 million chicken babies, but raised three children... 

Text | Mi Li's mother

Recently, Mi Li's mother was hit hard by a clip of a Korean variety show.

The variety show is called "The Devil's Game", which is simply a brain-burning game for a group of highly intelligent businessmen.

There is a girl named Li Huixing in it, who is really good and couldn't be better.

Since he was in school, he has maintained the first place, and he was successfully admitted to Seoul University, which is equivalent to our Qingbei, and he also worked as a translator for the Korean Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and later passed the host exam and became the host of a mainstream Korean TV station.

But such an excellent person, when facing the top opponents from all walks of life in the game, the results that she has always been proud of become ordinary, and all her abilities seem to be out of order in an instant.

After experiencing the feeling of "losing" several times in a row, she collapsed:

"I've always been a hard worker, but now I don't even know what I can work on. ”

"I wish I could tell me what I want to study. ”

Seeing this scene, Mi Li's mother really felt very sad and helpless.

Lee Hye-sung represents too many top students, who have been taught from childhood to be the best to be the best, to get into the best universities, and to work hard for a beautiful resume.

But once they get out of the ivory tower and enter the society, they will find that they don't know what they should do when there is no scope of the exam and no template to refer to.

Because, they will only do questions according to the scope of the exam, but on the contrary, there is no scope in life, and there is no fixed pattern in life.

The elite of prestigious schools also have a sense of social discomfort

Mi Li's mother once brushed up on an old father's complaining post, which detailed all kinds of disappointments about her daughter.

In fact, my daughter is very good and is a graduate of 985 University majoring in computer science.

Obviously, girls have the ability to be admitted to popular majors in prestigious schools, but when they are faced with entering society, they seem to be abolished.

I failed the graduate school entrance examination, I didn't look for a job, and I planned to fight World War II, but I wasn't in a hurry at all.

Dad was so anxious that he kept urging her since March and April: the graduation thesis is almost enough, and she still has to concentrate on preparing for the graduate school entrance examination.

But the daughter didn't take it seriously at all, stuck in a code for a long time to no avail, and in the end, it was up to the highly educated father to solve it.

Finally able to get back on track with her graduation thesis, her daughter's progress was still slow, and her father was in a hurry and had to help again.

After graduation, the school has a temporary assistant job, with a salary of 4,000 yuan a month, although it is not much, but it is better to have a learning atmosphere, and the father also wants his daughter to experience the feeling of independence.

Unexpectedly, because her daughter couldn't stand the non-accommodation, she simply gave up the application and turned around to go home to prepare for the exam.

The old father was angry and anxious, but the daughter was still sitting firmly in the Diaoyutai and did not look anxious at all.

Many people think that this is because the father spoils the child, so the child should be left to fend for himself.

Mi Li's mother felt that this was only half right.

Obviously, the girl must have learned from the beginning, but because she has her father behind her every time, she doesn't need to challenge herself to try more difficult things.

Graduation thesis, graduate school entrance examination, and work all depend on my father's worries, and my former sense of superiority has been completely shattered, so I don't want to face the facts.

It is precisely because of this that they will be "not attentive and not in a hurry".

To be honest, there are many elites from prestigious schools who have such a sense of social discomfort, and Mi Li's mother has also seen a lot.

They graduate from prestigious schools, and although they are obviously confident and cheerful, they can easily fall into problem-solving thinking and get into a dead end.

Take the "Heartwarming Offer" that Mi Li's mother recently talked to you about as an example. What is the end of the involution →in the original text? After 5 years of examination, the medical students of Tsinghua Law School who went ashore across majors gave the best answer!

There was an intern in it, Liang Wei, who taught the lawyer to put him in charge of a case that skipped orders.

The client is the buyer, and since the contract was signed directly with the homeowner, the agent believes that it is a skipping order, so he appeals.

It stands to reason that he only needs to prove that this is not an exclusive property of the agent and that the contract signed between the client and the landlord is valid.

However, when he was combing through the evidence, he found that the client had signed a tripartite contract, so the focus immediately shifted from the buyer-seller contract that was beneficial to him to the tripartite contract.

He tried to focus on this as a "defense", and complacently told the lawyer: "They don't know it, only me." ”

But the lawyer just said: "You complicate simple things, and the landlord did not sign it, so this contract is not established at all, and there is no agreement, so naturally it cannot be said that the client has skipped the order." ”

The meaning is obvious, and the other party can't grasp this, so don't get tangled.

But no matter how the lawyer explained to him, Liang Wei insisted that this contract was established and effective.

Citing papers to prove and talking about terms again, the lawyer became speechless with the naked eye, and he still talked endlessly.

Mi Li's mother was most helpless until he was announced to be eliminated, and when he said goodbye, he cried and said to the lawyer:

"That contract is really valid. ”

Mi Li's mother is sure that when he was in school, he was a good student who was willing to study the problem, but when he entered the society, he would only be like solving the problem at a glance and would not be flexible, not only could not solve the problem, but was also destined to suffer setbacks.

Life is not an exam, and there are no exercises to brush

If you are admitted to a prestigious school, you can be equated with excellent in the eyes of everyone, but once you graduate, this equal sign will be marked with a question mark.

Mi Li's mother read such a post, a Hong Kong executive has 3 children, and the average cost per capita is 20 million on an international route from nursery to university.

The eldest daughter studied dentistry at a prestigious British university, the second son studied architecture at a prestigious British school, and the younger son also entered a prestigious British school.

The three children are all excellent, and the parents are simply winners in life, who would have thought that the story began to derail after the children graduated.

After graduating from university, my eldest daughter suddenly didn't want to engage in the dental industry, so she started photography instead, and spent a few years in a photography studio in Hong Kong.

After graduating, the second son engaged in this professional job, but there was no improvement in the unit, and there was no promotion or salary increase for many years, and he also lived with his parents in order to save rent.

As for the youngest son, he couldn't adapt when he was just admitted to college, and he cried and told his mother that he was going to be depressed, and after a semester, the school officially recommended dropping out.

Later, the parents paid for the child to return to Hong Kong for psychotherapy, and supported the child to study in Australia.

The three children raised by 60 million, obviously all the way to the top prestigious schools, and their resumes at the beginning were all shining with golden light, why did they step down from the altar in an instant?

Some say it's because they don't have a concept of money, while others say they give up easily when they encounter difficulties.

But Mi Li's mother thinks that the problem lies in the "bookish anger" of the three children, which is to take everything for granted.

The eldest daughter, who studied dentistry, plunged into the photography industry just by virtue of her love, isn't it because of the support of her parents that she can choose freely?

However, when she entered the society, her photography works were not brushed up, and there was no fixed model for running a studio, which led to her repeated setbacks, and finally she could only return to the wings of her parents.

Seeing the experience of these three children, Mi Li's mother only regrets.

There are too many excellent children who can only take exams and do questions, and after entering the society, they become at a loss and hit walls everywhere.

In order to protect their self-esteem, they hid at home to take the public entrance examination, and even became full-time children.

Under this trend, more and more people on social platforms have begun to pursue "Korean women".

"Korean women", as the name suggests, are Korean women.

The entrance examination in South Korea is more difficult, so Koreans study harder, especially Korean women.

There are also many study bloggers on social platforms in South Korea, and the study time of more than ten hours a day is not worth mentioning at all.

Most of them have 3 cups of coffee a day and memorize a book in 2 hours, and the degree of involution is simply jaw-dropping, so many people take this opportunity to give themselves chicken blood.

But as a netizen said, in fact, I don't have no choice but to take the exam, it's just that studying is the easiest thing.

It is difficult to start working, it is difficult to adapt to society, and encountering blows will make the mentality even more unstable.

Children who regard excellence as a habit can't let go of their bodies, disdain to understand those "human feelings", and feel timid in front of those "exercises" that have not been done.

When he gradually lost the opportunity and changed from a pearl to an ordinary person inferior to his peers, his self-esteem was shattered, so he could only retreat to the safe zone and rely on his parents with peace of mind.

Don't let learning become the only solution in your child's life

As the saying goes, you can never be someone you haven't met. The same is true for a child, because he cannot have a state of mind that he has not experienced.

Take Gu Ailing as an example, a Stanford scholar and Olympic champion.

Everyone thinks that Gu Ailing's miracle comes from the support of her mother Gu Yan, personal efforts, etc., but Mi Li's mother feels that there is also a key that Gu Yan never thinks that children only need to learn.

It can be seen in the documentary that Gu Ailing has been lively since she was a child, jumping out of windows, climbing trees, and doing almost out-of-the-ordinary things, and her heart is also excited by the joy brought by challenges again and again, and she wants to experience more new things.

Later, she started to learn to ski, and she loved the thrill of flipping in the air, and she liked the feeling of challenging herself.

Her practice and competition were not all smooth sailing, with injuries and failures, but her mother still encouraged her to overcome herself again and again.

Although she did not forget to study in the car and on the plane, she clearly knew that learning is not the whole of life, and learning is just a road to a distant place.

Human nature is inherently oriented towards advantages and avoiding disadvantages, and everyone is accustomed to choosing the simplest things in the subconscious to do.

When children don't have many opportunities to try and can't find something simpler and happier for themselves, learning will become a subconscious choice for many people, so the postgraduate entrance examination is very popular.

If you think about it, as parents, we have a responsibility to tell our children that there are more beautiful things than textbooks that are worth experiencing and feeling.

This is not a waste of time, but the accumulation of life experience and the courage to face the unknown.

Once, Mi Li's mother swiped the video of "Dad sent his daughter to a class reunion".

A 10-year-old child organized good classmates to play escape rooms and dinner together, from pulling all the children and parents into a group to determine their intentions, to introducing the content of the activity to parents in the group, and even making a PPT for everyone to choose a dinner place.

As well as consulting the price of the escape room, informing the game environment, arranging the time node, and telling the parents when to pick up and drop off, all by herself.

What's even more rare is that in this process, my daughter is calm and not flustered when she encounters any problems, and broadcasts the scene in real time, so that the little friends are happy and the parents can rest assured.

Finally, I don't forget to thank all parents and classmates, every situation is expected, the degree of completion is really comparable to the adults in charge of planning activities, Mi Li's mother is completely fans of her aura and style.

How are these coordination and communication skills developed?

Looking through other videos, you can find that usually at home, parents will let her do some small things independently, and even listen to her views in family meetings.

No matter what she wants to try, her parents will support and accompany her, even if she sells scrap, she is willing to accompany her children back and forth.

This video touched Mi Li's mother deeply, we adults regard it as an ordinary trivial matter, and it is not the only way for children to upgrade their abilities?

Personal Profile: @米粒妈爱分享 Mi Li's mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning, educational experience and further education.