Zhu Dan, why bother to show affection again
Zhu Dan, who has always been on the hot search because of "humbleness", finally got his wish in the couple's reality show "Love's Study Trip" recently, dismantling the rumor that "the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious" in the eyes of outsiders.
The shape of her marriage with her husband Zhou Yiwei has been constantly shaped by the outside world in recent years. A few years ago, she was on the show, and she revealed that in her relationship with her husband, quarrels did not happen often. As a result, the reason is that in the first quarrel, she was persuaded by her husband's "step theory" in a few words, and since then many unnecessary emotional floodgates have been cut off.
▲ "The Man Who Does Housework"
During morning sickness, her husband, who never took on any housework, was busy cooking wontons for her, which was also told as a "god-given light". In her words, compared to many husbands whose wives are pregnant and who are generally unable to find anyone, the one in her family is truly valuable.
▲ "The Man Who Does Housework"
To be honest, happiness is a particularly personal feeling that outsiders are not qualified enough to comment on. But Zhu Dan just bumped into the muzzle of the "big heroine", and the marriage wisdom and way of getting along that she shared with a smile in her eyes were somewhat dependent on self-shrinking and concessions from the outside world.
So the audience, who could only get her marriage routine from a few words, began to ask her questions with words like "humble", "bitter" and "coquettish", many of which were wary of women feeling uncomfortable in marriage but had no room to speak, but finally fell into another scrutiny of women.
▲Zhu Dan Weibo
It wasn't until this time, when the husband and wife got together on the show, that the voices of the discussion took a turn for a while.
The first thing that made the audience taste sugar was Zhu Dan, who returned to the stage after many years. Her radiant appearance was recorded by her husband, and in the upturned corners of her mouth and sincere eyes, people read Zhou Zhouwei's heartfelt support and appreciation for his wife.
▲《School Trip》
As many comments from the outside world, Zhou Yiwei is a person who values manhood. When he was stunned, he refused to say that he was the husband of so-and-so, and when he saw the scene of coquettishness and affection, his eyebrows immediately furrowed, and you could always hear a pride in his words, and even many times people felt that he was too careless about marriage.
▲《School Trip》
But he still has a different side. In the show, when Zhu Dan was cooking, he patiently worked on the side, according to the instructions to light a fire and add water; after the meal came out of the pot, he took the initiative to clean the boiler and stove first; when the two lived in a village house in poor conditions, he used a cardboard box to build a simple dresser for his wife.
Jumping out of the incomplete fragments before, people found that even though Zhu Dan chose a script that could not gain more faith and love, it was not a choice that made her feel self-consistent. What Zhou Zhou Wei fills is precisely Zhu Dan's most important emotional need - everything has an echo in action.
▲《School Trip》
Many years ago, she went to a talk show, and the answer to a question was quite appropriate for her current marital situation.
At that time, she was asked about her imagination of an ideal emotional life. The picture she depicts is that two people are busy in the kitchen together, one chopping vegetables, the other washing, helping each other, and occasionally "poisoning" each other, which is the joy of life that she identifies.
Now that the show has aired two episodes, the way Zhu Dan and his wife get along, although it will not become a model of intimacy, but it will probably not encounter such a strong "who doesn't love whom" question as before. The happiness between them is generated by complementarity and just the right amount.
On the contrary, it is Zhu Dan's response in the pilot film, which makes people feel quite interesting. The director asked about the original intention of the two to participate in the show. Zhu Dan replied very frankly: It has been rumored by the outside world for too long, and it happens to be a good opportunity to open the skylight.
▲《School Trip》
To be honest, I can understand Zhu Dan's desire to break down barriers. Although some of the rumors and speculations about their marriage are pointed at the man, the flow of the role will eventually converge on the wife. The various comments questioning Zhou Zhouwei's PUA and machismo will eventually evolve into accusations against Zhu Dan for being "humble" and "inseparable".
But the subtlety lies in the fact that "proving his marital happiness to the outside world" seems to have been Zhu Dan's unconscious need since very early on.
During her friend Li Ai's pregnancy, Zhu Dan was a guest on the variety show she recorded, but because she was too obsessed with showing off her husband, she was brought to the hot search by netizens for heated discussions.
Zhu Dan regards the weight gain after pregnancy as the glory of being spoiled by her husband. After learning that Li Ai only gained 26 pounds after pregnancy, she joked that her husband didn't raise people well, and then boasted that she gained 60 pounds during pregnancy, all because of her husband's feeding.
▲ "Freshman Diary"
Later, he talked about Zhou Zhouwei's paternity, counted down for her at the critical moment, gave her endless strength, and praised a wave of "Mr. Zhou's" line skills by the way - the nurses in the delivery room said that this was the best countdown they had ever heard.
▲ "Freshman Diary"
Showing the smoothness and happiness of marriage seems to have been silently condensed in Zhu Dan's mind and has become a subconscious. She will always consciously or unconsciously reinforce the beauty brought by her husband and family.
And when rumors of an unhappy marriage between the two spread, she also tried to vindicate her partner on many occasions.
Weibo doesn't show affection, because he is an actor who doesn't want to show too much of his private life; there are no romantic birthday and anniversary ceremonies, because neither of them is used to it, and they don't pursue a sense of ceremony; and the scandal with a female star is due to the professionalism of both parties when acting...
▲《School Trip》
This may be the reason why she has been criticized a lot - happiness may be real, but it is also true that happiness is always emphasized.
This trace is still evident in "Love's School Trip". In the new episode of the program, Zhou Zhou used a rather abstract and complicated "Little Donkey Theory" to compare the situation of the marriage between the two in the mouth of the outside world - no matter what, someone will evaluate and trample on it.
Zhu Dan took over the conversation: So it's good to know everything cold and warm. Zhu Dan has said many times in public, "I know that I am happy or not", "It turns out that one day, your happiness does not need others to know", "As long as I think that I am happy at the moment, I don't need to care about the eyes of others, I just need to stick to my own attitude towards life".
▲《School Trip》
But you can still see a woman who repeatedly jumps sideways in the midst of contradictions - she says that she doesn't care about outside opinions and can't change everyone's opinions, and on the other hand, she is unwilling to hide behind an untrue misunderstanding, so she pulls her husband to a variety show and vigorously presents "true love".
It's hard to say whether Zhu Dan is self-aware of this, but from her strong personality, we can get a glimpse of the reason why she worked so hard to prove herself.
Because of her poor family background, after studying in college at the age of 18, Zhu Dan spent most of her free time working to earn living expenses, and her classmates were unwilling to go to work, so she took the initiative to sign up and stood for 12 hours in a row under the midsummer sun.
▲ "Very Quiet Distance", Zhu Dan talked about his experience of doing reality shows in the countryside.
Probably because of this hard work, she spelled out the title of "Satellite TV First Sister" all the way and entered the 2014 Forbes Celebrity List. When the term "big woman" was not yet popular, she was already a ruthless character in the eyes of her friends.
I guess she won't lack the desire to be a "winner in life" in her heart. It's just that in her opinion, a happy and successful marriage may be as necessary for women to win life as a decent and outstanding career.
Good sister Li Jing once asked her if she was really happy when she cooked for her husband at home, from a strong woman who used to have four shows a week to a little woman who was in love and married. Zhu Dan thought for a while and replied: "I think that's what should be done, that's life." ”
▲ "Very Quiet Distance"
There is no doubt that good lovers and emotions can bring feelings of abundance and happiness. But when the desire and frequency of self-proof happiness become too big and too high, there may still be some room for thinking.
What's even more ridiculous is that the outside world's criticism of Zhu Dan also presents a very torn situation. While people are counting on her to get rid of the "love brain" and the "bad influence of marriage", she can pick herself up from the career blows she suffered in the past few years and recreate the world, while she is still keen to look up and down the details of her marriage and give her life guidance.
This is probably a "consensus" that we all need to spend a lot of effort to identify and get out of - of course, women can be strong in their careers and be sassy women, but what can make them truly winners in life is a happy marriage after all.
▲《恕我直言》
Content Editor: Laiyi