The advent of a relationship is always easy to fascinate people. However, how do we distinguish between "sexual attraction" and true love in a relationship?
Love and sexual attraction are both very strong emotions that can be easily confused. We can experience our sexual attraction to the people we love, but we can also develop sexual attraction to people we don't love (e.g. a certain celebrity, a certain bartender).
The key difference between love and sexual attraction is that their fundamental purpose is different: the ultimate purpose of sexual attraction is sex, while the purpose of love is to maintain a relationship, a strong bond maintained through intimacy and living together.
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5 Differences Between "Love" and "Sexual Attraction".
1. Love satisfies our need for "support."
Culturally, we often confuse sexual attraction with love, but there are actually 3 different motivations for "desire", "attraction" and "love": "desire" is the driving force that motivates us to pursue relationships, "attraction" helps us distinguish between a more desirable partner and a less desirable partner, and "love" allows us to maintain close connection and care with others. Love is especially important when we are sad, scared, or in need of support.
2. Love reinforces "authenticity"
When we feel safe in our relationships, we know that someone loves us and will be around, and our actions are more authentic. If we question someone's credibility, fear that the other person will leave us, or think they may not be there when we need them, we are more inclined to lie or deceive. In other words, feeling safe in a relationship increases authenticity (Gillath, Sesko, Shaver & Chun, 2010). Sexual attraction alone is unlikely to produce the same level of authenticity.
3. Love makes people more willing to "sacrifice"
Sacrifice isn't fun: it involves giving up something valuable (like time, money) and can come at a high price. In a relationship, the willingness to sacrifice is associated with a higher level of commitment and commitment (Van Lange et al., 1997). This connection is more like love than sexual attraction; It shows plans for the future, care for someone, and priorities for the needs of another person over oneself.
4. Love can change the effect of "sexual behavior".
Sex can promote well-being, but this sense of connection is strongest in the context of love. A study on the association between sexual frequency and well-being suggests that emotion plays an important role in this (Debrot et al., 2017). Emotion is a positive other-oriented emotion that includes care and concern, and it is more love-oriented than purely desire-oriented.
5. Love lasts, while sexual attraction tends to wane.
Feelings of sexual attraction can "go away" quickly, but love is another matter. From an evolutionary point of view, romantic love is not an emotion: it is a motive, a powerful, tenacious motive (Fisher et al., 2005). Romantic love stirs our attention and doesn't give it up easily. Scientists recognize that the power of romantic love is rooted in the dopaminergic system, the reward system in the brain. From a biological point of view, the experience of love is a deep satisfaction. The associated dopamine release reinforces the pursuit of romantic love and also reflects its role in reproduction.
▷ "Bouquet of Love"
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But sexual attraction can be the beginning of love
The distinction between love and sexual attraction is not to make us discard sexual attraction in our relationships. Sometimes, sexual attraction is the starting point of love, and sexual attraction can prepare people for starting a romantic relationship. Sexual thinking can increase openness to sharing feelings, sacrifices, longing for intimacy, and engaging in caring communication (Gillath, Mikulincer, Birnbaum & Shaver, 2008).
The key is whether you decide to end the relationship with sexual attraction, or if you both believe in having similar goals in life, crave open communication, and want to bring your lives together. These future-focused traits show that you have the foundation for a long-term relationship.
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This article is compiled, original link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202102/is-it-love-or-sexual-attraction Author: Theresa E. DiDonato Cover: "The True Story of A Fei" Compilation: What Birdman Editor: What Birdman Editor: kuma