Sometimes, I just feel that she exists, in fact, she does not necessarily exist, but this feeling has seriously hurt me, and for more than ten years, it has been entangled in my physical and mental exhaustion, suffering, anger, lingering, the tree wants to be quiet and the wind does not stop, I can't stop, this is the demon in my heart...
Just as Shelley's poem: If I were a fallen leaf, you could float, if I were a flowing cloud flying with you, If I were a wave that breathed under your power, Share in the agility of your power waves, almost as uninhibited as you; If I had been a child, I would have been your companion in the storms of space, and my fantasies would not have been unusual, even if they were faster than yours. I would never have begged you so bitterly! ...... Ah, you like a wave like a leaf like a cloud! I was born with a great wound and deep pain, and I was bleeding all over my body; The authority of time has locked me up, weighed on me, I am too floating, too arrogant, too uninhibited like you!
Please treat me as your Yaoqin like a forest, even if I fly like a lost leaf, it will be fine! Your majestic and harmonious communication will get a deep autumn sound from both, though poignant and sweet. Fierce elves, please become my elves, please become me—you fierce! Please blow my dull thoughts like fallen leaves, beyond the universe, and arouse a new life...
