A letter from a fan:
I am 37 years old, graduated for 15 years, married to my husband for 6 years, and have a lovely son.
My marriage with my husband is high and low. I have a bachelor's degree, but my husband has a college degree. Since the two of us met, his salary has been lower than mine.
To put it bluntly, if it weren't for my age, maybe I wouldn't have looked down on such a man from the bottom of my heart.
My husband and I were introduced to each other by a friend, and at first sight, I didn't like him. Because he is not the dish in my mind, his education is not as high as mine, his ability is not as strong as mine, and he is even clumsy.
But after I talked about my first love, I was disheartened and delayed myself until I was 31 years old. My parents were so anxious that they asked people everywhere to introduce me to blind dates.
It is no exaggeration to say that if I am a man and a living person, my parents will persuade me to meet him, in case I see the right eye.
My parents were worried about me all night, even though I had a tough personality and didn't obey my parents' arrangements. But every time they hear their parents complaining about various gatherings, "goodwill" inquiries from relatives and friends, they are often silent and bow their heads, their daughters are so good, how can they not find Ruyi Langjun?
So, when my parents and I were desperate, my husband appeared. Even though I didn't like him at the time, we got married and had children as quickly as possible.
It's just that after marriage, I still don't look down on him and his parents. But fortunately, my husband has one only advantage, he can't fight back, he doesn't scold back, he has a docile temper, he is obedient to me, and he can cook.
Although I ridiculed him many times for being unproductive, every time I saw his advantages, I pressed down the restlessness in my heart again. No one is perfect, and I am not a person who pursues perfection, but if there is a 6 point, I also accept my fate.
However, it is this person who makes me feel that he only has 6 points, but after marriage, he broke out borrowing money from relatives and friends everywhere, borrowing online loans everywhere to speculate on foreign exchange and gold on the Internet, and dreaming of getting rich overnight every day.
I don't know if he made any money, but when I was sitting in confinement, he knelt down and pleaded, for the sake of the child who was waiting to be fed, I forgave him.
Later, I asked him to hand over his salary and his savings. I thought that if I was in strict control of his finances, he would wash his hands and turn back. But the dog can't change the habit of eating, he can't change the bad habit of gambling, and he has learned to lie and deceive people.
Just happened to encounter the epidemic for three years, his company's efficiency decreased, his salary decreased, and he began to speculate on foreign exchange without telling me. first cheated all his old mother's pensions, and then borrowed 50,000 yuan from his sister.
And their whole family joined forces to hide from me, without revealing a trace. For 3 years, I was kept secret. Just when I was saving money to buy a second house, my husband proposed not to buy a house, saying that people can only sleep in one bed and only live in one room, so why bother to find guilt for themselves?
For his incompetence, I always hate iron and steel. If a man is not motivated and does not fight, then the woman behind him must be strong and tough, otherwise who will bear the burden of supporting the family?
If it weren't for my husband's 80-year-old aunt who called and asked my husband what he was doing with borrowing 30,000 yuan, my mother-in-law couldn't persuade her son and cried and begged me to take care of my husband, maybe he wouldn't have happened.
Listening to my mother-in-law's crying, and then looking at the man who didn't say a word, my heart kept sinking. A man who was obedient to me actually partnered with his parents and sisters to deceive me for 3 years and owed 500,000 foreign debts.
When I, a woman, charged in front and tried to pull the family out of the mud, the man behind me kept dragging me back, trying to make me fall into the bottomless swamp with him.
I didn't cry, I just said coldly to my mother-in-law, you can't take care of your own son, why should I take care of your son? Your son owes 500,000 yuan, what does it have to do with me?
My mother-in-law scolded me, indifferent and ruthless, impersonal, and said how can you stand by and watch, if you don't care, this family will be completely scattered? I, a widow, have worked hard to raise three children, and I have done my duty.
After my mother-in-law scolded me, she scolded her own son, and then my son cried in the living room. I closed the door and sunk myself into the bed, not wanting to wake up or face it.
It's just that he has never taken the initiative to confess, and even avoided the problem many times. I proposed to sleep in separate rooms, and he went to the next room with a quilt and pillow. I filed for divorce, but he didn't say a word, he didn't say anything.
When I forced me to be anxious, he yelled at me, is it all my fault? You dislike me all day long for not having the ability to make more money than others, and now I finally find a way, and you say that I don't do my job. The reason why I am where I am today is all because of you.
My husband's roar brought out the grievances in my heart. When we got married, his family only gave a bride price of 50,000 yuan, while I married a dowry of 100,000 yuan. We bought a house, his mother didn't pay a penny, my parents took 50,000 yuan, and I myself took out all the pre-marital savings.
Although I take care of my salary after marriage, I also pay for all the expenses of the family. My husband doesn't need to care about the children, and he doesn't need to ask about the family's firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, and even I have to pay off the mortgage.
However, at this moment, I realized that I was wrong, and the fault was that I overestimated myself and underestimated this man. He blamed me for his lack of progress, and he blamed me for not being able to make a lot of money.
The husband and wife had a cold war for 3 days before he truthfully confessed that he had borrowed all kinds of loan platforms on the Internet, and his relatives and friends had also borrowed them. If it weren't for the fact that my relatives who borrowed me would be complained about in front of me, maybe he would have opened his face to borrow money a long time ago.
My mother-in-law cried and cried at home all day long, asking me to sell my house to help him pay off his debts, saying that as long as someone was there, the money could be earned slowly. I asked her, how much did you get for this house? How much money did your son take? Once the house is sold, the whole family is left homeless.
But the mother-in-law asked rhetorically, then you can't watch my son being called for debts and be indifferent, you are his daughter-in-law, you have the obligation to share the hardships with him.
I was so desperate that I just left the divorce and closed the door. I went to work as usual, I didn't touch any of the food they cooked, and he couldn't come into my room.
When my mother-in-law saw that I was so ruthless, she encouraged my son to cry in front of me every day, saying Mom, I don't want you to divorce, and I don't want anyone to divorce you if you divorce.
I had a cold war for a few days, and my son cried for a few days. Seeing my mother-in-law use my son as a robber, I was so angry that I wanted to slap my mother-in-law hard. But the mother-in-law disagreed, women, especially women who have become mothers, who can resist the child's begging for mercy?
My parents also persuaded and did not persuade me to leave, saying that I am old and my son is so old, and if I divorce again, I will be told a joke. What's more, he also confessed, so he gave another chance, sold the house to pay off the debt, and the couple had to live a good life.
The parents persuaded him not to leave, and the younger brother persuaded him not to make peace, saying that the dog couldn't change his eating shit. My best friend advised me to be cautious and check out the debts first, and then talk about the divorce.
Looking at the care of a bunch of people for me, I could only cry silently in the middle of the night. 500,000, but not 50,000, we only have 100,000 on hand. Do I really want to sell my house to save such a man who has no bottom line?
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