Photography丨Xie Shenggang
Gentle upbringing (excerpt)
Editor/Yang Ying
Read aloud丨Liang Tingting
Many parents will think that girls' hearts are often fragile and need to be cared for; And boys are different, boys have thicker skin, strong psychological resistance to pressure, and do not need to be cared for.
However, in fact, boys' self-esteem is also fragile, but they are only affected and constrained by social environment factors and personal personality characteristics, and they are unwilling to show their vulnerable side.
British psychiatrist Serbistine Kramer pointed out in his article "Vulnerable Men": "Boys face more psychological problems in infancy and early childhood, so they need special attention. ”
In addition, Kramer also pointed out: "People are not used to the weakness of men, and men cannot show their vulnerability at any time." Therefore, the pressure of young boys is not small, they are more sensitive, and before the age of two, many of their nature and instincts are suppressed. ”
It can be seen that the boy's mind is also fragile and vulnerable. Therefore, parents should abandon secular views and old and wrong educational concepts, whether boys or girls, parents need to understand and support them, take care of their young hearts, protect their vulnerable side, so as to make their children more excellent and excellent.
Newborn children, well-fed, clothed, warm, and changing diapers in time can be happy. As he grows up day by day, the child gradually has other requirements: the desire to be cared for, the desire to have dignity, the desire to be valued and respected; Sarcasm and taunts can make them feel slighted, and their immature hearts will be hurt.
Niu Niu didn't do well in the midterm exam, and when my mother got the report card, she said: "Ten fill-in-the-blank questions are actually only half written correctly, you are not stupid enough to get home!" ”
Some parents are like cow and cow mothers, when their children have difficulties, they not only do not be a strong backing for their children, but also snarky; The child does not praise the improvement, but sneers. The consequences of doing so are often counterproductive. Children who have been ridiculed and ridiculed by their parents for a long time will become very inferior, and even have no willingness to improve, and the parents' sarcasm is like a basin of cold water that extinguishes the positive flame in the child's heart.
Sometimes, parents may just talk about it, but for children, those insulting, sarcastic, sarcastic words greatly hurt their young hearts. Over time, they may develop according to the words and deeds implied by their parents, and weakness, low self-esteem, timidity, self-abandonment will follow, and it will also lead to quarrels, indifference and hostility between parents and children.
Children especially want to be affirmed and trusted by their parents and teachers, which will bring them great confidence and motivation. Therefore, when talking to their children, parents should show full trust.
Youyou learned to play the piano, and practiced a piece back and forth several times, still stumbling. The child is like a deflated leather ball, sullen. Mom said in a trusting tone: "Youyou, the teacher said, as long as you practice hard and practice seriously, you will definitely play well, mom believes in you, you also believe in yourself, right?" ”
This invisibly gives the child self-confidence and makes her believe that only persistence and hard work will lead to success. Parents need to learn: don't be sarcastic, don't belittle.
Streamer | Liang Tingting
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Source: Haibo TV
Editors: Chen Leyao, Wang Luyao