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Introduction:
Nan Jianlong's choice is puzzling. Why would such a high-level intellectual, the dean of the School of Architecture and Design, marry an old woman without culture? This question troubles many people, but if we dig deeper, perhaps we can understand that marriage is not always based on love, but on necessity. This is the story in "Little Shede", full of reality and emotion.
Nan Jianlong and Cai Juying's marriage seems unreasonable, but upon closer inspection, it is like the relationship between employer and nanny. Cai Juying is a good hand in life cooking, knowing how to cook, laundry, and take care of people. She worked hard in the preparation of the family banquet, while Nan Jianlong only cared about playing with her grandchildren. This makes us wonder, is Cai Juying really the mistress of the house, or more like a maid?
A sentence from Xia Junshan reveals the needs of Nan Jianlong, different ages, different needs. When he was young, he needed Qinqi calligraphy and painting, but later he needed to cook porridge and grow flowers. His health became a primary concern, so he hired a caregiver, Cai Juying. Remarriage is not born of love, but of the demands of everyday life. Sometimes, extramarital affairs are just about taking what each needs and satisfying each other's desires.
Nanli's mother was a "eldest princess" who knew how to enjoy life but lacked basic life skills. She needs care, and Cai Juying cannot provide this service. Nan Jianlong needed a woman who could meet his basic needs, not a woman immersed in the wind and snow. Marriage, fundamentally realistic, men too, pursue the convenience of life.
Many men, after middle age, choose to be with women who are inferior in all aspects compared to the original match. This is not because of love, but because of the needs of life. Men are not good at housework, so they need women who can take care of themselves. Young, literate women focus more on enjoying life than on taking care of them. Nannies are willing to serve older men because they seek dependence, especially in later life. Extramarital affairs are sometimes just a matter of getting what you need, and have nothing to do with love.
Nan Jianlong may still love his ex-wife in his heart, but his ex-wife lacks life skills and cannot take care of his needs. Therefore, he chose Cai Juying, who, although not affectionate, can meet the basic needs of life. Cai Juying's humility is to seek dependence, but she does not dare to offend Nan Jianlong because he owns property. This kind of marriage is purely practical.
Article Summary:
This article explores the marriage of Nan Jianlong and Cai Juying in Xiaoshede, emphasizing that marriage is not always based on love, but on practical needs. Men in their old age need a woman who can meet the basic needs of life, not just a romantic partner. Nannies are willing to serve old men out of dependence on the future. Extramarital affairs are sometimes just a matter of getting what you need, not true love. This article makes us revisit the nature of marriage and consider the relationship between love and practical needs.
Revelation:
The above article shows the different needs and practical considerations of people in marriage. Several important points can be drawn from this:
Marriage is not just based on love: Nan Jianlong's marriage is not based on deep feelings, but because he needs Cai Juying's care. This shows that marriage can exist for a variety of practical needs, not just out of romantic love.
Different needs at different ages: People have different needs at different ages, and may crave romance and emotional resonance when they are younger, but health and comfort become more important as they age. This can influence their choices in marriage.
Selfish extramarital affairs: Sometimes, extramarital affairs are not due to deep love, but because both parties are able to meet their respective needs. This highlights the selfish side of human nature, where people pursue relationships that are beneficial to them.
Diversity of marriages: Every marriage has its own unique background and needs, so it should not be generalized. Although the marriage of Nan Jianlong and Cai Juying is based on actual needs, it is also a choice for both parties to some extent.
Summary:
This essay explores the diversity and practical needs of marriage, emphasizing that marriage is not just based on romantic love. At different stages of life, people look for a partner who can meet their needs. Nan Jianlong chose Cai Juying not only because of her ability to take care of her, but also because his health and life have become more important. This highlights realistic considerations and selfish needs in marriage.
The article also mentions extramarital affairs, highlighting people's selfish tendencies in seeking to meet their own needs. Not all extramarital affairs are built on love, sometimes just to meet specific needs.
Ultimately, this article provides us with an opportunity to think deeply about marriage and relationships to better understand why people make particular choices at different stages of their lives. Marriage is complex and diverse, and it can be influenced by a variety of factors, not just love.
The story is also a reminder not to simply boil marriage down to a single reason or emotion. Every marriage is a unique contract that is influenced by the needs, values, and life circumstances of both parties.
Nan Jianlong and Cai Juying's marriage may not seem romantic to outsiders, but they do meet their respective needs to some extent. Nan Jianlong needs care and stability in his later years, while Cai Juying may need a stable source of income. This is not a romantic manifestation of love, but a balance in real life.
It also raises the broader question of whether marriage should be built solely on love. While romantic love is an important part of marriage, there are other factors in real life such as finances, family, health and safety. Nan Jianlong and Cai Juying's relationship reminds us that people consider a variety of needs, not just feelings, when choosing a partner.
Finally, the story provides us with an opportunity to examine our own perceptions and expectations. It teaches us to understand that everyone has their own life trajectory and needs, and that marriage should not be fixed into a specific pattern. It also reflects the diversity of human nature, where people pursue different things at different stages, and marriage is an opportunity to adapt to these changes.
Therefore, the revelation of this story applies not only to the marriage of Nan Jianlong and Cai Juying, but also to think about our own relationships and views on marriage. We should look at different types of marriages more tolerantly, understanding that there may be more complex factors behind them than just love. This helps build healthier, more balanced marital relationships and prompts us to think more deeply about our relationship choices.
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