Why are some children smart when they are young and mediocre when they grow up?

Whoever cannot dominate himself is always a slave; Whoever plays with life achieves nothing.

Smart parents know how to keep their children down-to-earth, step by step, and move forward steadily.

Author | Maple

12 years ago, there was a "five-bar" teenager who was popular all over the country.

His name is Huang Yibo, he began to watch "News Network" at the age of two, read "Five Thousand Years of China" and "Zizhi Tongjian" at the age of five or six, and insisted on reading "People's Daily" every day since he was seven years old.

At the age of 13, he had published more than 100 articles in major newspapers and periodicals across the country.

But such a talented child, but in the college entrance examination a few years later, only 477 points were admitted to an ordinary private school.

For a time, countless people sighed.

The old saying comes to mind: when it's small, big may not be good.

Over the years, the story of "Hurting Zhongyong" has been staged repeatedly in life, which is embarrassing and at the same time, it can't help but make people think:

Why do some children who were very smart as children grow up mediocre?

Some time ago, I learned at a family gathering during the summer vacation that Xiaotong, the son of my cousin's family, only scored 305 points in the college entrance examination and could only apply for one junior college.

This result surprised us, because in our cognition, Xiaotong has been smart since childhood, and it is not a problem to get into a good school.

Xiaotong has been able to speak well since she was a child, "Auntie is good, uncle goodbye" comes when he opens his mouth, and he doesn't need to be reminded by adults at all.

He has a flexible mind and is his mother's little helper at home, picking up couriers and buying small things.

You can get a good score by listening to the class, and my cousin doesn't have the pain of tutoring homework at all.

Therefore, for Xiaotong's current college entrance examination results, we all think that he did not play well, and persuaded his cousin to let the child repeat for one year, and next year he will definitely play at the real level.

Unexpectedly, my cousin hated iron and said:

"You all look up to him, you have been said to be smart since childhood, but your study habits are too poor, and it is really useless to have a flexible mind to make good use of it."

Those who are not very bright-minded, but down-to-earth and willing to learn, are better than him. ”

The cousin also listed some of Xiaotong's behaviors.

The teacher asked him to copy and consolidate words and words three times, and he never did it once.

When asked, he said that it was a waste of time to write something that could be remembered once and write it three times.

However, when the teacher dictated the next day, he always got a few words wrong, and he never got them all right;

For mathematics, he also does not seek to solve the problem, as long as there is a way to solve the problem, everything will be fine, and he is dumbfounded in the face of the problem that requires two methods to solve the problem or the difficulty increases;

Nightly homework only seeks speed, not quality, just to complete homework early to leave more time to play;

He is very open to the decline in the ranking, always saying that he has learned everything, but he has not done practice, he is so smart, as long as he works a little hard to catch up.

But he just said he didn't do it.

I can't help but think of the words of an educator:

"We usually think of a child as mischievous, quick-witted, and sharp-tongued.

In fact, a child's intelligence is: strong concentration, careful thinking, self-discipline, and goal-oriented. ”

A child, with superficial wit and eloquence, often has a hard time going far.

Just like Huang Yibo mentioned at the beginning, his parents only saw his ability to speak well, but did not pay attention to the problem that his grades had been at a medium level, did not cultivate his ability to learn, and finally disappeared.

Taking "little clever" as really smart ultimately delays the growth of children.

Remember Zhang Ji, a teenager admitted by Huawei with an annual salary of 2.01 million?

Netizens call him a "genius boy", in fact, looking at his growth experience, it is not difficult to find that he is not a genius, no talent, not smart enough, and the starting point is even lower than that of ordinary children.

In the first college entrance examination, he directly failed the list, repeated for a year, and only admitted one private three.

But in college, he refreshed his existence with self-discipline, self-drive, and concentration.

His motto is: Many people work harder than you, what reason do you have not to improve?

At the beginning of his university life, he made a four-year study plan and strictly implemented it;

In order to listen better, he always came to the classroom early during class and sat in the first row;

In addition to classrooms, he often appears in libraries and study rooms.

With his own efforts and hard work, he finally turned over against the wind:

He not only obtained a master's degree with excellent grades, but also continued his studies and studied for a doctorate.

Only then did everything that was envied later.

You see, true intelligence must radiate self-discipline, concentration, and tenacity.

These determine whether the child can persevere in long-term learning and improve himself.

Zou Yun, who stood out from the host competition, is such a smart person.

At the scene of the competition, she fell generously, exited in a chapter, and her voice was sonorous and powerful, which left a deep impression on the audience.

When everyone lamented that she had become "lucky", she said:

"I think my confidence may come from the fact that in the past nine years, my reports have been written out one by one, word by word, picture by picture, live broadcast by live broadcast.

How much truth I have witnessed in my life and what kind of efforts I have made, I hope that I will have what kind of confidence. ”

Yes, steady dedication and continuous self-discipline will give people enough confidence.

Only those who are firm in their goals, persistent, and move forward step by step can achieve their wishes.

Relying on natural cleverness, children will not go far.

Lengthening the gaze and learning to cultivate "learning ability" is the magic weapon that children will use throughout their lives.

1. Concentration: Improve your child's "seriousness"

There is a father who once secretly filmed the whole process of his child's homework.

One will push the door, the other will point the wall, wandering, in a daze, going to the toilet, all kinds of small actions, that is, not writing homework.

For a full 9 minutes, only 2 minutes to write homework in the Eight Classics!

Professor Li Meijin said: It is not "intelligence" that determines children's academic performance, but "attention".

In the same hour, children with good concentration put in 100% of their energy, but children with poor concentration put in less than 50%.

After that, the 50% gap will become a world of difference.

Cultivating children's ability to concentrate is the best help for parents to their children.

First of all, parents should learn not to disturb their children, secondly, reduce nagging and reprimands, and finally develop the habit of doing everything with purpose and plan.

Children who know how to focus on the present can go far and stand tall in the future.

2. Self-control: Help children take control of their lives

There is a famous marshmallow experiment in psychology:

Have a group of preschoolers sit in chairs with their favorite snacks like marshmallows in front of them.

If they can stick to it for 15 minutes before eating, they will get an extra snack;

If you eat it right away, there will be no reward.

After the experiment, the researchers followed the children for a long time and found:

Children who can last for more than 15 minutes will have successful careers in their future work and life;

Conversely, children who eat marshmallows quickly are not good at coping with stress and lack the ability to handle life.

Goethe said: "Whoever cannot dominate himself is always a slave." ”

To cultivate children's self-control, parents must return the right to choose to their children, and children who can make decisions can better control themselves. Second, we must set an example, set a good example, and drive children's self-discipline and self-control.

Children with strong self-control can endure suffering, resist temptation, and withstand hardship.

3. Sense of purpose: awaken the child's internal drive

Ten years ago, a father took his twin sons to visit Tsinghua University.

Since then, the two brothers have determined that they must apply for Tsinghua in the future.

Guided by this strong sense of purpose, they are always full of internal drive, self-awareness and self-discipline from the third grade to the third year of high school.

In the end, both brothers were admitted to Tsinghua and realized their dreams.

They are Du Yilang and Du Youlang from Yunnan, who scored 703 and 730 points respectively.

Educator Qian Zhiliang said: "To stimulate children's internal drive, it is very important to help children set goals, think about what kind of person they want to become, and find a sense of meaning and value in learning." ”

The goal is the meaning of the child's hard running, and it is also the motivation for the child to move forward.

If you want your child to persevere in long-term learning and strive to improve himself, parents must cultivate their child's sense of purpose from an early age.

We can first help children find the big goals in life, and then disassemble the big goals into operable and easy-to-achieve small goals, so that children can continue to move forward step by step to create their own life glory.

4. Thinking: Give your child wings of wisdom

In "Cognitive Breakout", there is such a "thinking-benefit" chart.

Blindly burying one's head in studying and doing problems, even if you put in more time, it is difficult to make a breakthrough in your grades.

But if you choose to think deeply, over time, the child will eventually gain a metamorphosis of growth.

Einstein also said, "The general ability to think independently and judge independently should always come first." ”

Thinking ability is the core competitiveness of children's life.

To raise a thinking child, parents must first allow children to be "disobedient" and have their own opinions, and secondly, teach children to use an analytical and critical attitude to obtain information.

Diligent in thinking and good at using brains, children can walk out of their own different lives.

Bai Yansong said: A child's future is hidden in the education of his parents.

The agility of childhood is not enough to support the future of children.

The guidance and teaching of parents is the cornerstone of children's success.

Collect the child's little intelligence, let the child learn to focus, learn to think, learn to self-discipline, in order to become a really smart child, so that he will not "be out of the limelight".

Give it a thumbs up and encourage your parents.