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I am Mrs. Fang, and I am now 68 years old. Allow me to share with you a life experience about the marriage between an older woman and an attractive but emotionally volatile man, a "late autumn love".
For me, the old days have always been accompanied by loneliness. In the early years, my husband and I worked hard together and accumulated a certain amount of wealth.
However, when I was 58 years old, after losing my husband, my life became lonely. Loneliness has become my daily routine, and without a partner, I can only watch TV alone or play mahjong at home and spend boring time.
After ten years like this, I gradually learned to let go of my thoughts about my late husband and began to long for a new partner to accompany me for the rest of my life. I know I'm not old and should find someone who suits me. However, I demand a lot from my partner, and I need a man with a strong family, good health, and a good appearance.
Just as I was looking hopefully, I came across Mr. Ma, a handsome and amorous man. Mr. Ma is a retired worker who has limited income but is enough to make ends meet.
He owned a small house on the outskirts of the city, was divorced once, and had no children. He is handsome in appearance and has an outstanding temperament, and is a very attractive man.
However, read on to find out the story between us and why two months later, I regret my marriage to him.
01 My past
When I was young, I ran a business with my husband, and my small business brought a lot of wealth. We own a three-story house in our hometown, and our two sons start their own families and own their own property and cars.
I enjoy a spacious home of about 90 square meters, plus two sets of shops for rent. I also have more than $800,000 in savings in my savings account. On the surface, I have the wealth that many people dream of, but this has not brought me inner happiness.
My life fell into a silent loneliness, a deep loneliness that made me suffer every day. Since my husband passed away at the age of 58, I have been suffering in this unbearable loneliness.
Without him, my life seemed to lose its meaning, I was like a dry tree, no longer able to find hope to grow.
I have no close friends and no hobbies. I sat home alone every day, watching the TV picture flow, or bored playing with mahjong cards.
I missed opportunities to connect with friends, share laughter, and miss the courage to get out of the house and pursue new experiences. Life is like a solid ice, and I stand on it alone, and it is difficult to break this barrier.
Time flies, and lonely days keep passing. Gradually, I began to let go of my thoughts about my late husband. I began to long for a new partner, someone who could accompany me through my old age.
I don't think I'm too old, and I should be able to find a suitable person, a man with a solid family, good health, and a dignified appearance. I longed to feel the passion of life again and find myself again.
However, this aspiration is not easy. I started to get to know a few men through the introduction of friends, but I always felt not satisfied. Some are bloated, some are short in stature, and some behave in a vulgar manner.
My demands may be a little harsh, but I firmly believe I deserve better. Just when I was feeling discouraged, fate seemed to open a window for me. It was then that I met Mr. Ma. This encounter will definitely change the trajectory of my life.
02 Mr. Ma
Mr. Ma, a handsome and multifaceted man, a free-spirited soul, his life story is very different from mine.
Before retiring, Mr. Ma worked in a factory and although his income was limited, he was enough to make ends meet.
He owns a small property located on the outskirts of the city, which is his haven. Mr. Ma was divorced and had no biological children, and his life was relatively simple compared to my marriage experience.
The biggest feature of Mr. Ma is his appearance and attitude to life. He is tall, well-proportioned, and has been exercising all year round, maintaining an excellent body shape and muscle line.
He pays attention to dressing, loves designer clothes and fashionable shoes, and every appearance is like a catwalk. He is a man with a great temperament, attracting the attention of his surroundings and catching my eye.
Mr. Ma's life is dynamic and social. He is a social whiz who builds deep friendships with all kinds of people. Often attending social gatherings, recreational activities and travels, his life is colorful.
He especially likes to keep in touch with young and beautiful women, not only through the exchange of information, but also by phone, and from time to time to give small gifts, it seems that there are always some energetic ladies by his side.
All this makes Mr. Ma a popular person, especially within his social circle. He loves to live freely, feels young, does not want to be bound by any shackles, and longs to fully enjoy the freedom of every moment. He seems to be a perfect villain, a stark contrast to me, a rich but lonely woman.
However, it was this seemingly perfect man who met me that doomed our fates to converge. In the follow-up story, you'll learn how our marriage began and why, less than two months later, I regret it.
It's a story of differences and challenges, and one that made me re-examine myself and my marriage choices.
03 Meeting and marriage
One day, I was falling into longing for loneliness, and a chance opportunity came to me. This opportunity changed my life and pushed my story to a fork in the road of marriage.
That day, an old friend introduced me to several men and tried to help me find a new partner, someone who could accompany me through my old age. However, these men always made me feel unhappy with me.
Just when I was feeling depressed, a man named Mr. Ma broke into my life. Mr. Ma, a distant relative of a friend of mine, took the initiative to contact me after learning that I was looking for a partner.
The first time I met him, I was attracted to his appearance and temperament. He is tall, muscular, and exudes confidence and masculinity every step of the way. His appearance was elegant, like a gentleman.
When I saw him, I saw a glimmer of hope, an opportunity that might change my lonely life. I felt like I had rekindled my passion for life, like returning to my youth. I fell in love with him at first sight, and this time, I was determined to pursue him positively.
However, Mr. Ma did not show a strong interest in me. He didn't seem to be deeply attracted to me, or his interests didn't quite align with mine.
He thought I was overweight and not tall enough to fit his aesthetics. In his opinion, I was just an ordinary friend, and he had no intention of further developing the relationship.
Despite this rejection, I did not give up easily. I expressed my emotions in various ways, bought him tons of gifts, and invited him to dinner many times.
To cater to his height, I bought a pair of high heels and wore them every time we met. I told myself that I didn't care what others thought if I liked it. I firmly believe that I can conquer his heart.
Maybe it was my sincerity that moved him, maybe he took a fancy to my family situation, in short, he gradually began to accept me and agreed to marry me. We got our marriage license and started a new life.
In the early days of marriage, it was full of happiness and joy. Brother Ma led me to participate in morning jogging, cycling and traveling every day, which made me feel the revival of youth. I was obedient to his requests and never said anything about his plans, because I trusted that this was a wonderful marriage and that we would spend the rest of our lives together.
Others looked at us and called us a pair of "cowherds and weaver girls". They think that we are a pair of destined to love each other, two hearts corresponding, and the age difference is just like a paper obstacle.
However, this happy time did not last long, and less than two months later, our marriage showed signs of breaking down.
04Marital conflicts
The first marriage time seems to be full of sweetness and happiness. I walk with Big Brother Ma and share each other's company and love. However, it wasn't long before we began to discover a series of contradictions and disagreements that made our marriage extraordinarily complicated.
The first problem is that we live differently. Brother Ma is a punctual and self-disciplined person who goes to bed early every day and never supper. He asked me to follow his routine, turn off the lights at 9 a.m. every night, and wake me up every 6 a.m. for my morning run.
This is a new way of life for me, and I used to sleep until I woke up naturally. This change made me feel extremely uncomfortable, especially for the morning run.
I tried to follow him for a morning run, but soon I couldn't do it. I hurt my knee and I suffer every morning run.
What made me even more angry was that Big Brother Ma didn't seem to understand my feelings at all, and even urged me to speed up, which made me feel extremely frustrated. I began to feel that he was too aggressive and did not consider my feelings and physical condition.
Another contradiction is that our consumption concepts are at odds. Brother Ma is an avid consumer who likes to buy all kinds of new gadgets, whether it is clothing, shoes, fitness equipment, fishing equipment, or travel goods, if he likes it, he will definitely buy it. He even swiped my credit card frequently, spending it arbitrarily without my consent.
In contrast, I am a frugal person who pays attention to financial management and thrift. I looked at our bills and realized that we had spent more than $50,000 in just one month, which made me deeply worried and saddened. I think he has no financial wisdom, does not understand frugality, and does not value wealth enough.
More importantly, our social circles are very different. Brother Ma is a social expert with many friends, with whom he often hangs out, has fun, and hikes. He also keeps in touch with some young and beautiful women, sending text messages, phone calls, and gifts. His varied social life, especially his love of interacting with young women, makes me uneasy.
Relatively speaking, I am introverted, have no friends, and do not like to participate in various activities. I feel that Big Brother Ma's fancy heart worries me, and he is not single-minded on me. I began to wonder if he had other women, which made me anxious.
These conflicts gradually deepened the gap between us, and I began to regret my choice to marry Brother Ma. I felt that I was being used by him and even had the idea of divorcing him. What was originally a hopeful and happy marriage has now become complicated.
As our married life continues, these contradictions and disagreements become more serious, affecting our relationship and making us doubt marriage.
First, discord in our living habits becomes a persistent problem. Big Brother Ma's early bedtime and early rising lifestyle seems to be motivated by health concerns, but for me, it's a limitation that makes me feel depressed. Running at six o'clock every morning became a nightmare I couldn't escape. It was too early for me, and the early run made me feel tired instead of energetic. Especially after my knee injury, this activity became more painful for me. But Brother Ma couldn't understand my feelings, and he put pressure on me to improve my athletic level, which made me feel very frustrated. We had a lot of arguments over this, and I felt that he was too strong, and he felt that I was not willing to accommodate. This dispute strained our relationship, and I felt that he didn't really understand me and couldn't put himself in my shoes.
Another persistent problem is our view of money. Big Brother Ma likes to spend money on all kinds of new things, which worries me. He doesn't hesitate to shop for fashion, whether it's fashionable clothes, expensive shoes or sports equipment, if he likes it, he doesn't hesitate to pay for it. He even often swiped my credit card without asking for my permission, which made me feel ignored and disrespected. I am a person who values frugality and financial management, and I believe that money should be used sparingly and should not be squandered. After looking at our bills, I have to admit that our expenses have exceeded my budget, which makes me feel anxious. I fear that our money problems will gradually worsen and affect our future. This also reflects our different ideas about money management, I think money is a resource that should be used wisely, and he tends to see money as a pleasure and reward, and does not worry too much about the future.
One of the most paradoxical issues is our social differences. Brother Ma is a social enthusiast with a wide social circle, often hangs out with friends, has a good time, and keeps in touch with many young women. He is passionate about getting along with all kinds of people and especially with young women. In contrast, I am an introvert and have almost no social circle of my own. His social life worries me, especially his close connection with young women, which makes me feel uneasy. Our social differences gradually deepened the estrangement between us, and I began to doubt his loyalty and worry about whether he had other women. This misgivings create pain and tension between us.
The accumulation of these problems makes our marriage relationship extremely complicated. I began to regret my choice, I felt used by him, and I wanted to end the marriage. It wasn't an easy decision, but in the end, we opted for divorce. We realized that although we were once a couple of "old cows eating tender grass", we could not overcome these huge differences. Divorce is a relief and a new beginning. I am grateful for our marriage because it taught me many important lessons. I believe that life will be better in the future, and every page of stories is waiting to be turned, whether it is challenges or opportunities, I am willing to meet them. This is the continuation of our marriage story and the beginning of my new life.