Human life lasts for tens to hundreds of years, and countless days and nights fill our lives with various colors. From a macro point of view, human life can be divided into several different stages
Before adulthood, to a large extent, individuals will be attached to their original families, mainly their parents; Before leaving the original family to getting married, most of the time is spent alone;
After getting married and starting a family, you and your other half will form a relatively stable community; When you are older, you will establish a certain relationship with your children.
Therefore, it is inevitable that people must establish various stable social relationships in their lives, and at the same time carry out the corresponding behavioral activities of their own lives on this basis. So what kind of relationship is worth cherishing the most?
In fact, there is no fixed answer to this question, and what kind of relationship you should pay attention to depends on what kind of needs you have.
For example, the social anthropologist Malinowski believes that culture in human society is actually based on the needs of individuals and the way in which they are met.
Therefore, if you want to know what kind of social relationships you should establish, the first purpose is to understand what kind of needs you have.
Chen Daoming: Like people drinking water, they know themselves warmth and cold
The famous actor Chen Daoming has created many classic screen images with his superb acting skills and excellent line skills.
Also in daily life, Chen Daoming also built his own unique style of life with his wisdom, and thus attracted many media inquiries.
When a reporter asked: "What do you think is the most important thing in this life", Chen Daoming replied: "Your own needs are the most important." Being able to eat when hungry and sleeping when sleepy is the most important thing. ”
This is a wise answer, and it is true in our lives: when we have the ability, we must strive for our other half and small family; With children, we must do our best to meet the various needs of our children and let them grow up smoothly;
When parents are older, they must also protect their parents' livelihood and fulfill their maintenance obligations.
So when you are also old and do not have so much ability, what should you do? Is it to "summon" your children every day to "retire to the end"? Or live the life you want with your wife?
Or spend time entertaining with your old guys? In fact, these relationships are not the most important. The social interaction of the elderly is of course very important, but it is still themselves who ultimately determine their own life status.
After entering the old age, people will face a variety of problems. Both health and psychological state are largely due to fear of the unknown, especially death.
In fact, the most effective way to alleviate and solve these problems is yourself. There are some important points to note:
1. Stop internal friction
The old age stage is the stage in which individuals have the most understanding and experience of all kinds of people they have experienced in their lives, and because this stage is separated from busy work and socializing, there is more time alone.
Therefore, individuals are very easy to be troubled by some trivial things, such as some stirring with children, which will make them think that they are "useless" and "disliked by children"; Discomfort in the social process can also make them feel lost;
Friction with your partner will trigger negative emotions... After that, it takes a lot of time and energy to think about and digest these contents.
None of this is necessary.
When people reach old age, the most important thing is to maintain an optimistic attitude and have a positive attitude towards the things they face. Don't get caught up in the little things and fall into negativity.
2. Reduce anxiety
Because the elderly have worried too much in their previous lives, they always "have life in their eyes and things in their hearts". This inertia is actually not conducive to maintaining a good attitude to life, and even affects the health status of the elderly.
Many elderly people start thinking and busy every day as soon as they wake up: what to eat for breakfast, what lunch to prepare for their families, send their grandchildren to school... It can be said that it is very tiring to consider the various difficulties of the junior, and in the long run, it is easy to fall into anxiety.
Therefore, if you want to live a good old age, you still have to feel sorry for yourself and don't have to worry about everything.
3. Live well
Older people also have social lives, even more frequently. But when many elderly people communicate together, it is easy to fall into a misunderstanding of comparing and comparing each other: comparing their retirement income, exchanging their quality of life, and even comparing their children's work and family as talking points.
Like the comparison between children, this comparison can also lead to psychological imbalance in the elderly: hearing that other people's families are doing better, their own psychology will inevitably produce feelings such as jealousy, and thus negative emotions.
In fact, it is good to live your own life, people are more angry than people. As long as we are better off than our past selves, we are actually good.
At the end of life, you are the most important.