Lu Xiaoman, a woman who was once peerless, a woman who had emotional entanglements with celebrities such as Xu Zhimo, Hu Shi, Nie Er, etc., a woman who had certain achievements in the literary and art circles, but lived a poor, lonely and lonely life in her later years.
And by her side, she has always been accompanied by a man, a man she has never officially married, a man she only has friendship and no love - Weng Ruiwu.
Weng Ruiwu, a man born in a family of eunuchs, a man who was once the quartermaster general of the Admiralty, a man who befriended Zhang Daqian, Zhao Mianyun and other famous families, but gave up everything after middle age, in order to accompany Lu Xiaoman, he did not hesitate to sell property, betray his family, and endure public opinion.
How did they get to know each other? Why didn't they get married? Is there love between them? These questions have always plagued many people who are interested in them.
Today, we will explore their stories, see how they have gone through 33 years of ups and downs, and how they have faced the final separation.
1. Acquaintance: the edge of Tuina
To talk about the acquaintance of Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu, we must also start with Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo. Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo were the most sensational lovers at that time, they abandoned their respective spouses because of love, and married regardless of worldly vision and moral constraints. However, their marriage was not happy.
Lu Xiaoman is thin and has fainting. At the time of onset, he had a very bad temper. Xu Zhimo hired a lot of doctors for her, but it didn't work, and when she was helpless, a friend recommended Weng Ruiwu to Xu Zhimo.
Weng Ruiwu is a master of Tuina, and he is a disciple of the famous Tuina master Ding Fengshan. He was also a scholar and a scholar, specializing in poetry and calligraphy and painting.
He was born in the prefectural family of Wuzhou, Guangxi, and his father was a protégé of Weng Tongyong, the master of the Guangxu Emperor. He has deep friendships with celebrities such as Zhang Daqian, Zhao Mianyun, Jiang Xiaojian, etc., and is also a famous literati son in Shanghai Beach in the Republic of China.
Xu Zhimo asked Weng Ruiwu to treat Lu Xiaoman Tuina. After a period of tuina, Lu Xiaoman's body improved significantly. She also developed a fondness for Weng Ruiwu.
She found him gentle and considerate and personable. She began to invite him to her home and chat with him and play chess. Xu Zhimo didn't mind either.
He feels that Weng Ruiwu is a good friend who can help him share some of the burden. As a result, the three of them often eat, watch plays, and play together.
Such a relationship makes the outside world inevitably have some gossip. Some people say that between Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu, there are often opportunities to half-untie Luo skirts and stroke with clever hands.
Some people say that Xu Zhimo is a generous husband and does not mind that his wife has an affair with another man. Between Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu, did anything happen?
It's a mystery. Maybe they're just pure friendships, maybe they've been secretly affectionate, maybe they're just occasionally impulsive. In any case, their acquaintance laid the groundwork for their later relationship.
Second, get to know each other: in the same boat through thick and thin
On November 17, 1931, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman had a quarrel. Xu Zhimo persuaded Lu Xiaoman to be a little thrifty and stop smoking opium to relieve pain.
Lu Xiaoman became angry and felt that Xu Zhimo did not understand his suffering. Xu Zhimo left Shanghai in a fit of anger and arrived in Nanjing. Two days later, Xu Zhimo's plane had an accident when landing in Nanjing, and Xu Zhimo unfortunately died.
It was a thunderbolt of news on a sunny day. Lu Xiaoman was overwhelmed with grief, and she wrote the poem "Crying Mo", expressing her endless thoughts and regrets for Xu Zhimo.
She compiled Xu Zhimo's diaries, selected poems, complete works and other works to commemorate him. She also buried her marriage certificate and ring with Xu Zhimo in an iron box in a garden near Shanghai's Jing'an Temple.
However, she also faces a practical dilemma. She is unable to work, but her life is very luxurious. She lived in a mansion and hired drivers, cooks, etc.
She also regularly smoked opium to relieve physical and psychological pain. She spends at least 500 silver yuan a month (equivalent to more than 20,000 yuan now). After Xu Zhimo's death, she lost her financial resources. She had to borrow money everywhere to get by.
At this time, Weng Ruiwu appeared beside her again. He sometimes has financial support for Lu Xiaoman, and when he does not have enough money, he even changes the calligraphy and painting in the seller.
He also often accompanies Lu Xiaoman to chat, comfort and massage. He took care of Lu Xiaoman in every way, as long as Xiaoman was happy, he could do anything for her.
Weng Ruiwu's family has a wife and five children. His wife Chen Minglu was also from a family of eunuchs. Chen Minglu's father and Weng Ruiwu's father were sworn brothers, and they were engaged to marriage when Weng Ruiwu and his wife were not yet born.
Their marriage was a political marriage with no basis for love. Weng Ruiwu has no feelings for Madame, just respects her and takes care of her.
Their children were also raised by Madame's mother and sister. Weng rarely returns home at noon, preferring to wander outside, make friends and enjoy cultural life.
Weng Ruiwu's concern and help for Lu Xiaoman made Madame very dissatisfied. She felt that Weng Ruiwu was an irresponsible husband and father who spent all the family's money on a woman who was not three or four.
She had found Lu Xiaoman many times and asked her to let go of Weng Ruiwu and stop pestering him.
Lu Xiaoman ignored her, and even laughed at her in turn. She said: "There is no love between you, only profit. Why do you care about me and him?
You don't think you're his legal wife, so you can accuse me casually. Your marriage is a joke, and you don't deserve to be husband and wife. ”
Madame trembled with anger when she heard these words. She couldn't wait to tear Lu Xiaoman to pieces. She returned home and vented her anger to Weng Ruiwu.
She said, "You shameless man, how can you do this to me? Do you know how much you owe me? Do you know how much I sacrificed for you?
Do you know how much I love you? How can you abandon me and the children for her? ”
Weng Ruiwu was also angry when he heard these words. "I never loved you and never owed you anything," he said. Our marriage is forced and meaningless.
I have nothing but respect and gratitude for you, no love and desire. I have feelings for Lu Xiaoman, she is my soul mate, she is the most important person in my life. I will not give up on her and I will not leave her. ”
Madame listened to these words, and became even more sad and angry. She said, "Since you say that, then let's divorce." I don't want to see your face anymore.
You can go and go with her. But you have to remember, we have five children, and they are all your flesh and blood. You can't forget them, and you can't abandon them. ”
Weng Ruiwu thought for a while and said, "Okay, let's divorce." But I have to tell you one thing, Lu Xiaoman and I are not married or cohabiting. We're just friends. There is no physical contact between us, nor any guilt. ”
Madame listened to these words and found it unbelievable. She said, "Don't lie to me. I don't believe there is nothing between you. If there really is nothing, then why would you give up everything for her? ”
Weng Ruiwu said, "Because I love her." ”
This is a simple and complex answer. Weng Rui loves Lu Xiaoman, but he doesn't want to marry her or live with her. He felt that the affection between them was a spiritual fit, a communication of the soul beyond the flesh.
He didn't want to bind them in the name of marriage, nor did he want to pollute them with cohabitation. He just wants to be by her side, to be with her, to support her, to protect her.
Lu Xiaoman also loves Weng Ruiwu, but she also doesn't want to marry him or live with him. She felt that their relationship was a friendship rather than love, a relationship of mutual respect rather than possession.
She did not want to replace Xu Zhimo's position in her heart in the form of marriage, nor did she want to betray Xu Zhimo's influence in her soul with the act of cohabitation. She just wanted to have him by her side, to accompany her, to comfort her, to push her.
Such feelings are difficult for the outside world to understand. Some people say that they are a couple of immortals, high in the wind and bright festivals, and free from the fetters of the world.
Some say that they are a pair of delusional people, deluding themselves and not knowing what they are doing. Some people say that they are a pair of shameless people, playing with feelings and ignoring the bottom line of morality.
No matter what others say, they don't care. They only care about each other. They believe that their feelings are true and pure. They believe that their choice is right and reasonable. They believe that their lives are happy and good.
Third, keep each other: rain or shine
On July 7, 1937, Japan's war of aggression against China broke out. Shanghai became a battlefield. Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu did not flee Shanghai, but stayed in Shanghai. They feel that Shanghai is their hometown and their base. They don't want to leave Shanghai, and they don't want to give up Shanghai.
However, living in the midst of war is not easy. Both Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu lost their jobs and income. Lu Xiaoman had originally published some articles and poems in newspapers such as "Declaration" and "News", but during the war, these newspapers were suspended.
Weng was originally the quartermaster general of the Admiralty, but during the war, the Admiralty was occupied by Japan. They can only make ends meet by selling their calligraphy, paintings and jewelry.
Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu lived in a villa in Shanghai's French Concession. This villa turned out to be a gift bought by Xu Zhimo to Lu Xiaoman.
After Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman transformed the villa into a small museum with Xu Zhimo's relics and works.
Lu Xiaoman called the villa "Moyuan", and she regarded it as a sacred place for herself and Xu Zhimo. She was reluctant to move out or sell it.
Weng Ruiwu also lives in this villa, but he and Lu Xiaoman do not live together. He lived in a cabin in the villa, keeping a certain distance from Lu Xiaoman.
He got up every morning, made breakfast for Lu Xiaoman, and then chatted with her, played chess, and read books. He also often gives Lu Xiaoman Tuina to help her relieve physical and psychological pressure.
He is meticulous to Lu Xiaoman, but he never crosses the line. There were no intimate gestures between them, nor any ambiguous words.
Such a life makes them feel stable and satisfied. They feel like they've found what they're looking for. They feel like they already have the people they need. They feel that they have achieved their ideals.
4. Parting: Life and death are separated
On October 1, 1949, the People's Republic of China was founded. Shanghai was liberated. Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu also ushered in a new era. However, the times were not kind to them.
They are seen as relics of the old society, as fellow travelers of the reactionaries, as lackeys of the bourgeoisie. They have been subjected to political repression and economic hardship.
Forced to move out of the "Moto". The villa was confiscated by the government and turned into a public place. The relics and works of Xu Zhimo displayed inside were taken away and replaced with some revolutionary slogans and pictures.
Lu Xiaoman regarded this villa as a sacred place for herself and Xu Zhimo, and she was unwilling to leave it or give it up.
Weng Ruiwu was also unwilling to leave this villa, nor was he willing to give up Lu Xiaoman. "We can't just go like this, we can't just give up everything we have," he said. We want to stay, we want to stand up for what we believe in. ”
Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu stayed in Shanghai and continued their lives. They moved into a small apartment and shared it with other people.
They wake up every morning, make each other breakfast, and then go out to look for work. They often go to libraries, museums, galleries, etc., looking for some cultural and artistic inspiration. They also often write letters, draws, and poems to each other to express their moods and thoughts.
Their lives are difficult, but they are also happy. They feel that they still have each other, and their talents and ideals. They feel that they can create something beautiful and contribute to society. They feel that they still have hope, and a future.
However, such a life did not last long. In 1957, the anti-rightist movement began. Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu were both branded rightists, criticized, imprisoned, and re-educated through labor.
They are deprived of their freedom and dignity and forced to confess their crimes and mistakes. They were forced to separate from each other and sent to different places.
It was a brutal blow. Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu could not withstand such torture and loneliness. They both longed to see each other again, to hear each other's voices again, to feel each other's warmth again. They all want to escape this hell and return to their own paradise.
However, this is an impossible wish. Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu did not see each other again. Lu Xiaoman died of malnutrition and overwork in the labor camp.
Before she died, she left a letter to Weng Ruiwu, saying, "I love you, I will always love you." You are the most important person in my life, you are the most beautiful thing in my soul. I hope you live and find some joy and comfort.
I hope you remember me, but don't grieve for me. I hope you can forgive me, but don't blame me. ”
In 1961, Weng died in prison due to torture and abuse. Before he died, he left a poem to Lu Xiaoman, saying, "If you go, I will also go." We're all gone, who's still there? We love each other, we keep each other. We part, we miss each other. Where do we meet? ”
This is the story of Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu. A story of not getting married and not living together. A story without flesh and no sin. A story of friendship and love.
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