Every once in a while, some strange new memes appear on the Internet that don't know where they come from, some are funny, some are boring, and some are inexplicable. Recently, it is rare to see a rather cool one called "The Gears of Fate Begin to Turn", combined with real events to make sentences even cooler: In June 2015, after a 10-hour transoceanic flight, Orange held her crying four-year-old son in her hand, holding her sleeping one-year-old daughter, tiredly joining the long queue at Vancouver Customs, but she didn't know that the gears of fate began to turn, and she would start writing a public account called "Tell Us Baby" in the city, two months before her new life.
Wow, I haven't written such a literary and fresh sentence for a long time, and I feel like it's full in an instant!
The reason why this gear terrier looks so cool is mainly because it mainly plays a sense of gap: that is, the last second this person is still miserable, no different from ordinary humans, just because of a small decision inadvertently, fate has changed drastically, and soon achieved an extraordinary life. Then I looked back like a world away.
Then many people sighed ah, when will the gears of my destiny move, it won't be welded to death, right!?
As a person who has moved the gears of destiny, I feel that I need to clarify and explain that the so-called gears of destiny that "a small choice has made a big difference" is purely an overly romantic and exaggerated description.
If there really is a cog in my destiny, it is not a jerk that suddenly starts spinning inexplicably, I feel like it has been spinning since a long, long time ago. It spins when I'm in a daze, when I'm rotten, when I'm doing nothing, when I'm wasting time, and in short, it spins when I'm not doing all my business.
25 years ago, I was in junior high school, an ordinary northeastern girl, since childhood personality has not been likable, in the northeast of the per capita social cattle, I am an outlier, can never understand those self-evident eyebrows, will never learn those enthusiastic beautiful scene words. But fortunately, my academic performance is still good, and my personality is well-behaved and obedient, so I am still considered a "good boy" overall.
But things went wrong this year, my mother was busy with business and had no time to take care of me, my studies were getting harder and harder to keep up, and my free time was increasing. So in those two years, I listened to a lot of popular songs and symphonies, read a lot of world famous books and martial arts romance, rented CDs and watched all kinds of commercial literary and vulgar movies, and spent the rest of the time chasing stars, doing crafts and watching every series that appeared on TV... Then my grades plummeted, and I was constantly abused by my classmates at school, and then I felt sad and had nowhere to talk, so I formed the habit of keeping a diary. I found that no matter how bad the feeling, as long as I write it out and express it, I feel a lot more comfortable.
The gears of fate began to turn, and in those two years I learned to be alone without dependence, learned to face bad moods, learned to appreciate music and words, and learned to use writing to relieve emotions.
22 years ago, I was in high school, I looked like a sunny and carefree student, and I got a good college test, but I knew I wasn't putting all my energy into my studies. Because I had a crush on a male classmate in my class. I knew he didn't like me, but I couldn't control myself from approaching him, so I pretended to be very boyish and became friends with him. Fantasize that he will see my good one day.
At that time, I spent all my energy on the crush. Keep up the good grades because he will ask me the exercises. Write your homework early every day because you want to lend it to him. Read his favorite books, play the games he loves, and research topics that interest him so that you can have a chat with him. Every day is full and busy, every day I am happy to be close to him, and at the same time I am hurt to reconfirm that he doesn't like me. I didn't know how to deal with my strong and humble emotions, so I had to pity myself in the text, write a lot of gorgeous rhetoric to pile up things with strong emotions, lament that I was pitiful and romantic, and fell into a masochistic complex and could not extricate myself. I don't know how many tearful and trembling nights I have experienced, I finally have the strength to end this unrequited love, throw away all my manuscripts without hesitation, and say goodbye to that humble and pretentious self, vowing not to please or force again, but to find a truly equal partnership.
The gears of fate began to turn, and in those two years I not only knew what love was, but also what not love was. I learned how to write beautiful and seductive words, but I also understood that these superficial beauty was meaningless. I grew up very fast, became mature and pragmatic, believed in love, but no longer believed in fairy tales that deceived little girls.
20 years ago, I was in college, and it seemed like I was comfortable with college life, but I actually knew I hated my major. Every class was torture for me and I couldn't concentrate at all. In order to cope with this pain, I began to "do not do my job" again: I read books like crazy, rummaging through bookstores and rental kiosks, which one was easy to look at. I also spent a lot of time listening to songs, and then mixed with star-chasing forums on the Internet, writing star-chasing essays of tens of thousands of words. I took a lot of tutors, and the money I earned was used to travel around the country and watch concerts.
The gears of fate began to turn, and in those two years I began to know that my words were liked, began to find myself releasing another personality online, began to know that my soul was not restless, and always wanted to go farther and live a different life.
Fifteen years ago, I was about to graduate from graduate school, and if nothing else, I would become a teacher, the most perfect career for a girl in the hearts of Northeast parents. But I was resistant to this profession in my heart, I hated standing on stage and talking and dealing with a lot of people. It happened that the boyfriend who had just dated on a blind date proposed that it would be better to get married and go to the United States with him. I had no idea about the United States, but I agreed to him almost without hesitation.
The gears of fate began to turn, and that year I arrived on the other side of the ocean, broke away from the trajectory of fate that a small northeastern town girl might have, and began a life that could no longer be predicted.
Thirteen years ago, I had been a housewife for two years, and I was supposed to take an English test, get a diploma in the United States, and then find a job that would be based there. In this way, husband and wife are of the same heart, one person maintains identity, one person makes money, and it is stable to walk on two legs, which is the experience of countless immigrant couples who have taken root.
But I started to go away from the plan again, and I liked the language classes, but when I reviewed and took the exam, I was uncomfortable, infinitely procrastinating, and extremely inefficient. During the delay, I played all the interesting small games on the Internet, chased all the dramas I could chase, and was still bored, so I spent all my time browsing North American Chinese forums, and made a lot of long posts like addiction, and even mixed up with a little fame. Mixed with me, I felt that the mother and baby section attracted me the most, and every day I was happy to watch other people's children, and the more I watched, the more maternal love flooded, and then decided that I would also give birth to a baby to play. But children are born to be difficult to raise, not as fun as imagined, and all kinds of problems emerge one after another. With the enthusiasm of a new mother, I delved into the theoretical knowledge of raising babies like chicken blood, and constantly communicated with other people on the forum while practicing, and I was stunned to make raising children a systematic project. Then I felt that my ability to raise a baby, wouldn't it be a waste not to have another one, besides, this baby will grow up quickly, do I have to "get back on track" to review the exam and apply for school, it's terrible! So I gave birth to my sister non-stop.
Before opening the public account, I always defined myself as an incompetent loser. Because I don't seem to have any attributes of a successful person, I have no ambition, do not do business, have no perseverance, do not persist, only pick up things that I feel comfortable and happy to do, only spend energy on things that are useless, after today I am happy today, I never want to do what to do in the future, even if I have a good life in the first half of my life, it can only be explained as luck. In all the story routines, people like me end badly.
But my gears of fate kept turning in these wasted hours of mine, allowing me to unknowingly possess a lot of seemingly useless abilities. And when the tide of new media entrepreneurship arrived, I happened to be the one who was ready for everything: my family relationship was harmonious, and my family supported me to start a business; I am good at using words to express feelings and ideas, I understand popular writing patterns on the Internet, I have experience and confidence in speaking on the Internet, I have a lot of knowledge about raising children, I like to think independently, I am good at researching and analyzing information to do research, I have my own mature values and theoretical system, and I have some sense of humor that can only be shown on the Internet. I don't even need to think about any sunk costs to start a business, because I already have no job or income, and I can devote myself to this business.
It's a collection of seven Dragon Balls.
Then I naturally became who I am now.
This is not because of some metaphysical gears moving, but because at every important moment of my life, I have no hesitation in abandoning the "right path" that everyone thinks, but "without a chance" choose to do what I want to do and like to do. Although I myself feel that these things are useless, I often feel guilty for enjoying myself. But objectively, I have been like this for more than twenty years, constantly studying and practicing to become myself, to become the person I should be, instead of obeying the arrangement of secular opinions step by step, to become a small-town problem solver without love, to become an emotionally naïve person, to become a stable but crappy middle school teacher, or to become a person who is so good at using Chinese but has to work in English.
Years later, I saw a passage that I don't remember originally, which probably means that everyone has the power of self in their hearts, and it will constantly make a voice telling you where to go and what to do. If you ignore this voice, think intellectually, and do what everyone thinks is "right" but feel very painful, you are killing yourself mentally.
Then I woke up like a dream: I had always thought that my success was a blessing of luck, God's favor for a bad person. But this is no accident, if I had not listened to my inner voice so much for so many years, I would have had to struggle on those paths that were right but did not belong to me until I died of mental numbness, how could I have a complete soul that can now be revealed in words?
Therefore, when I saw the meme "Gears of Destiny", I was particularly emotional. If there really is a gear of destiny in this world, it will only rotate when a person takes fate into his own hands and is fully free to be himself. Those who have been accustomed to suppressing their true selves for a long time and always choosing the worldly right cannot have the gears of fate, and can only passively obey the waves brought by fate.
So, when the child is doing something very useless and unorthodox, maybe we can choose to be less worried and worried, he is listening to the call of his heart, learning and understanding how to be himself. The excitement and joy he showed when he wasn't doing his job, perhaps that was how the gears of his destiny began to spin.
❤
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