"The Chinese drama is too far away to be on!" The mother who stole her daughter's notice changed after the calculation!

In the past two days, "the mother stole the admission notice and obstructed her daughter's enrollment" caused heated discussions among netizens.

Jiajia, a 17-year-old girl from Chongqing, was admitted to the Central Academy of Drama, which should have been something for parents to celebrate and be proud of.

But after leaving a "sorry", her mother took her admission notice, ID card, household registration book and other documents and hid it.

The reason is: Beijing is too far away, I hope my daughter will stay in Chongqing as a teacher for the rest of her life!

For the sake of selfish desires, not hesitating to ruin the child's great future, the mother's desire to control is too terrible.

Fortunately, the girl successfully contacted the staff of the Chinese opera and had completed the check-in.

The incident also developed further, and after Jiajia's mother returned home, she gave the choice to the bodhisattva, and after counting the two trigrams, it was shown that her daughter could go to Beijing.

My mother had to reluctantly agree, but did not return the admission notice, saying that she had lost it.

Jiajia was worried that her mother would continue to obstruct, so she did not dare to tell her the ticket time, and planned to leave secretly when school started.

The incident seems to be over, but the tug-of-war between mother and daughter has not really disappeared.

I don't want her to go this time, so I hid the notice, and next time I can lock her up?

Now that she can forcibly interfere with her choice of school, will she also control how she chooses a job and chooses a lover in the future?

I really don't want to use words like "ignorant, selfish, feudal, strong" to describe a mother, and I can understand a mother's concern and dependence on her daughter.

But this strong desire to control is really suffocating.

Part.1

Even the youngest children have it

Self-esteem and choice

This incident reminded me of a video I watched before, the girl's birthday, and her parents took her to the photo studio to take photos.

Originally to make their daughter happy, but parents have been engaged in "aesthetic bullying":

"You choose this, the cow, ghost, god and snake are like jumping gods, can you shoot something normal?"

When choosing a film, he constantly denied the child:

"This one doesn't look good with a face, why do you choose?"

"This one is too zombie-like, not good-looking"

Under the mother's series of blows, the daughter was directly aggrieved and cried.

In just less than 30 seconds of video, every second suffocates and every second feels sorry for this girl.

This happens all around us every day.

This parental desire for control over their children often extends into adulthood.

Even if you get married and have a baby, you should still be "managed" in the eyes of your parents.

"At 25 years old, I still get scared when my mother talks."

"It's good that we don't get together, otherwise I would be crazy to say this every day."

When we become parents, it's easy to overlook one thing: our children's hearts are much more sensitive and fragile than ours.

No matter how young children are, they have self-esteem, and they also enjoy equal rights with adults in personality.

American psychologist James Dobson said:

"There are thousands of ways to make a child lose self-esteem, but it is a slow and difficult process to rebuild self-esteem for a child."

No matter how small things are, they are also big things in the eyes of children.

Maybe the child is still young, even if his feelings are ignored, he can't do anything to resist for the time being.

But one day the child will grow up, and these memories will become a seed that will continue to take root in the child's heart.

And every child whose inner feelings are ignored will definitely fall into deep self-doubt and disgust.

The cycle repeats itself and becomes a permanent scar in the child's heart.

Part.2

The closer you get

The more the child wants to escape

Some people may say, shouldn't children be in charge?

You listen to me: I died early in the morning~

Our generation has grown up listening to these old family scripts, what parents have worked hard to raise their children, and their children have worked hard to return the favor.

But the child's generation has been instilled with more self-awareness from an early age.

The deepest feeling about this matter is the way Jin Chen and her father get along when watching "Daughters in Love".

Jin Chen's father will do everything possible to inquire about his daughter's work through various ways, including through his daughter's friends.

But the closer the father approached, the more the daughter wanted to escape.

Jin Chen revealed to the program group that the biggest trouble with her father is that her father always calls to inquire about her work and life.

In order to avoid this kind of interruption, Jin Chen even chose not to return text messages, not answer the phone, and block his parents from the circle of friends.

Doesn't Jin Chen understand his father's love?

Of course I understand! She bowed deeply to her father, who read to her letter on the show, with tears in her eyes.

She just didn't know how to respond to this heavy love.

This generation of people actually values their own space and inner freedom.

When they enter adolescence, they will not be willing to be good babies in the eyes of their parents and obey their words.

They need themselves more, personal space, and excessive worry about interference will only suffocate them.

So I have always felt that the most important thing for parents to grow up is to respect the existence of children as individuals.

At the same time, we are also people, there is no need to always find the reason from ourselves when there is a problem in the child, we ourselves are the most important one.

Parents and children need to be separated from the symbiotic relationship in order to achieve complete independence, full reconciliation and mutual understanding.

Part.3

Learn to "keep your mouth shut"

Teacher Li Meijin said that when parents meet adolescent children, the first thing they have to do is to close their mouths.

In fact, no matter how old the child is, respect the child's boundaries, just like the hen does not touch the unshelled chick.

So it's important not to do what to do rather than what to do.

I know it's hard, really hard for a lot of parents (including me).

But having confidence in children and letting them take the risks they should take is the love that children need most.

Of course, we toss and turn countless nights worrying about what they are going through in their lives at the moment.

But as a parent, this anxiety is something you must bear.

It's really not difficult to raise children, and getting along with children is difficult~

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