The "only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai" envied by the whole network, sorry, the old mother can't boast
It seems that overnight, rebirth literature swept the Internet, and "reincarnating as the only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai in the next life" has become the common wish of young people.
Image source: Weibo
"Well-born, worry-free food and clothing, and a smooth life", in the eyes of netizens, the only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai won at the starting line as soon as she was born, and she was able to win the life she wanted effortlessly.
The life of lying and winning is indeed very attractive, so the only daughter in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai has become the envy of the whole network.
But as a mother of children, I am not happy at all. If a rich family born in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai is the standard answer to reincarnation, then how should thousands of parents who are not Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai and non-middle-class parents face the expectations and criticism of their children?
For thousands of parents, "the only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai" is not the goal of ordinary people, but a prison for the future of their children.
01
Internet success women, the first time lying to win the starting line
In order to satisfy the imagination of successful women on the Internet, people have created one new word after another. In the past, they were known as the iron lady and the big heroine, and the popular characters in recent years are unmarried aunts and county noblewomen.
TV series with the theme of big women include "The Legend of Miyue", "The Legend of Chu Qiao" and "The Blooming Moon That Year", and in reality, there are Dong Mingzhu, Meng Wanzhou, and strong women from all walks of life.
Combined with the growth proposition given to women by the times, these characters always have a distinct theme, that is, women's independence.
Image source: Variety show "Strange Words"
However, the emergence of the "only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai" is a subversion of the successful female character of the Internet.
This time, girls no longer need to sweat and effort, and they don't have to pursue freedom and independence, they are born into well-to-do families, and they already have everything they need to define success.
"Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai", "rich people", "only child" ... None of the words used to name them represent the character and characteristics of the individual, only the conditions and choices of the family.
The character of the only daughter in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai is not a successful woman in the traditional sense, but closer to "there are mines at home" and "children of demolition households", the essence is to achieve the ultimate ideal of food and clothing through family accumulation and intergenerational inheritance.
Image source: TV series "Twenty Not Confused"
Of course, the only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai in real life read this entry and all ended up refuting rumors.
Some people say that the academic pressure of children in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai cannot be underestimated, and they have been forced by their parents to attend various training courses since they were young. Some people say that families in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai are not the average middle class as reported on the Internet, and their parents cannot give them much financial support.
From this point of view, the life of the so-called only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai is not real, but an unrealistic and irresponsible fantasy of people's ideal life.
In addition to studying hard and working, young people try to find a way to solve it once and for all through family and origin.
02
The only criterion of material things, which denies the emotional giving of parents
On the "only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai", there are three prominent labels, "Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai", "only child" and "girl". Behind each label, it represents the economic foundation.
Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai are synonymous with economically developed areas, and the only child means that they can inherit all the financial resources of their parents, and under the traditional idea of son preference, male marriage and female marriage, the only daughter does not need to compete with her brothers for family property, nor will she suffer losses because of money in marriage.
In other words, as long as the family is rich enough, born in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai or Shaanxi-Gansu-Ningxia, there is no big difference between one child and three children in the family, all of them are equally enviable and red-eyed.
Image source: TV series "You Are My Human Fireworks"
Such value orientation is dangerous for both children and parents.
Once children measure their parents by material standards, they will feel that parents without money are not good parents, and even dislike their parents for having no money and ability, and blindly blame the family.
Someone once asked online: "Why don't my parents have money?" In his eyes, classmates have a lot of pocket money to buy what they want and travel to their favorite places, but their parents can't give them the life they want.
For this, he complained to his parents: "I often say to my parents, I hope you can open a store and make money, but they will not do it." Some netizens replied: "Your parents told you to study hard and work hard, have you done it?" ”
Such a child never demands of himself, only others; Never reflect on yourself, only let others change for themselves.
Image source: Zhihu Q&A
On the other hand, using material as the only criterion is an emotional kidnapping of parents. If there is no money in the family, no matter how much love is given to the child, it is not enough to make up for the lack of material things.
Under such logic, a bowl of longevity noodles is not love, cake and Western food are; Plastic toys are not love, figurines and Lego bricks are; The park on your doorstep is not love, traveling abroad is.
However, when will a child's material needs be enough?
03
No one is always cared for, independence is a must for children
In the TV series "You Are My Human Fireworks", although the heroine Xu Qin is not a standard Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai only daughter, she has all the favorable conditions that Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai only daughters have.
Her father bought a house near her workplace, her mother helped her with her career, and her brother gave her a car as a work gift, but she felt that she was always bound and disciplined, and had to break with her family and turn her face with her parents.
Being in the blessing and not knowing the blessing, choosing to leave but unable to bear the consequences, is not a giant baby behavior that does not eat the world's fireworks.
Image source: TV series "You Are My Human Fireworks"
Many people envy the only children of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai because they were arranged by their parents for their studies, marriage and work as soon as they were born, and they can live their lives peacefully and steadily without thinking.
However, in real life, most of such children will not accept their parents' affection, let alone follow their parents' arrangements.
If parents wrap and control their children with substances, do not allow children to study away from home, do not recognize the child's freely chosen career, and do not give children the opportunity to love freely, the children raised in this way are either white-eyed wolves or moms.
Parents can take care of their children, or they can do their best to pave the way for their children, but they can't replace their children through this life.
Whether parents want it or not, every child will eventually become independent. When we have to watch our children drift away, it is much more reassuring to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish.
Image source: unsplash.com
It is often said that the gifts given by fate are secretly marked with a price.
The "only daughter of Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai" on the Internet may have received the most expensive gift, but she may not be ready to accept this gift.
Real-world boys and girls, on the other hand, take the bags prepared by their parents and embark on a journey to distant places, struggling to buy the gift they want.