Home is the father's kingdom, the mother's world, the child's paradise.
The backbone of the father held up a blue sky; The kindness of the mother warms a field of heart; The child's hope leads the way home.
Everyone has a different role, if the role is misplaced, or only know how to take, do not know how to give, then the family is out of order.
The worst situation of a family: the father has no pattern, the mother only wants the end, and the child cannot make a plan.
01
Father has no pattern.
The family is like chess, and the father is a chess player. Taking one step at a time is to meet the present, taking one step to see three steps is to seek progress in a stable manner.
As a pillar of fatherhood, I worry about how each person should play a role and how he should guide everyone. In the most difficult times, you should know how to get through it.
In the seventeenth year of Chenghua in the Ming Dynasty, Wang Hua of Yuyao, Zhejiang, was admitted to the top rank, and then his career was smooth, and he became the left attendant of the Ministry of Rites and the Shangshu of the Nanjing Ministry of Officials.
As the saying goes, "A person who is rich is not rich; A rich family is rich. ”
After having achieved it, Wang Hua devoted himself to cultivating his children. He took advantage of various opportunities to test his son Wang Shouren.
For example, when playing together, he goes out of the upper link - Chunchang. Wang Shouren to the next link - Xia Ban.
When Wang Shouren offended the eunuch Liu Jin in the officialdom, he was demoted to the Guizhou Dragon Field. Therefore, Wang Hua was also implicated, resulting in Wang Hua being transferred out of the capital.
On the way to Guizhou, Wang Shouren was chased by people sent by Liu Jin, who carried water and escaped.
Faced with the dilemma, Wang Hua said: "Child, the imperial court has entrusted you with responsibility, you better go to office." ”
It was because of his father's support that Wang Shouren became a philosopher. Thinkers, military strategists, etc.
In contrast, Helong of the Qing Dynasty only cared about greedy for money, wanting to leave a lot of wealth for his son and let him sit and enjoy his success, and as a result, Hejun himself was imprisoned, the family's money was taken away, and his son became a bitter man.
The big the heart is, the stage is bigger. As a father, if there is no big pattern, then the children only learn to eat and drink, and there is no one to guide them in the face of suffering.
If the father is compared to a big tree, but there is no way to assume the role of a big tree, can not shelter the family from the wind and rain, then the sign of "the tree falls and scatters" appears. Such a family must prepare for the worst from the beginning.
Father is the one who walks silently and walks in the front. No matter how strong the wind and rain, it will not back down. When his children encounter wind and rain, he must also take the initiative to bear it, and encourage his children to accept the baptism of wind and rain.
02
Mother just ends.
The family has three meals and four seasons, and the mother is a skillful hand. Even the house can't be cleaned up, the clothes are too lazy to wash, the home is not warm, and it is chilling.
As the "benevolent helper" of the family, the mother should put the love on everyone and make everyone "feel at home".
Some mothers, like the protagonist in "I want a gourd" - in spring, plant a gourd seed, and when the seed germinates and slowly climbs the shelf, they do not go to water and fertilize, even if the leaves are eaten by insects, it does not matter. In autumn, the gourd seedlings withered, and the gourd was not seen.
In real life, as long as you look at the ending mother, there is such a performance.
First, when the husband comes home, he does not ask how hard the work is or what step he has achieved in his career, but only how much he earns, and the money must be taken out quickly and handed over in full.
If the husband does not make money, he will immediately have the opportunity to turn his face, cry, make trouble and hang himself three times. The husband was tired and had to listen to all kinds of complaints, so he was disappointed in the family.
Second, when the child comes home from school, the mother does not ask about the learning situation, does not ask about food, clothing and warmth, as long as the score of learning. If the child does not get good grades, the mother will lash out and reprimand the child. It never guides the child on how to improve his grades and what are the details of reading.
Third, she is very domineering, thinking that cleaning the family needs to be done by her husband, and the children should experience it early. As long as someone takes care of the home, they can do nothing. Don't think you want to "take the initiative".
Not asking about cultivation, only about harvest, this is the reverse of the truth. The right thing to do is to worry about good things and don't ask about the future. As long as you work hard and do things well, as for whether the ending is good or not, it is another matter, and it turns out that the ending will not be too bad.
Shakespeare said, "A virtuous woman, even if she is ugly in appearance, is the decoration of the house." ”
The virtue of a mother is the foundation of family harmony and the relationship between husband and son. As long as the mother ends, it shows that she is accustomed to being served, and she has to know it at home.
03
Children can't make a move.
There are generations in the family, and the child is the "torchbearer". From the hands of parents, take over the fire of the family, if you can catch it, it is - the spark of the spark, which can be set ablaze. If you can't catch it, then die.
How many families, parents worked hard to start a business to get rich, built a big house, in the hands of their children, lost overnight.
Qin II, after obtaining the family inheritance of his ancestors, the money of the world can be at his disposal. Sadly, he was accustomed to eating, drinking, and having fun, after sitting on the throne, he squandered his money and built lavish palaces, and soon lost his family and position.
According to legend, when he was young, he did something wrong. After the party, seeing the shoes of the ministers, all neatly arranged at the door, he stepped on them ruthlessly to vent his dissatisfaction.
Good families will tell their children: "In the future, you have to go by yourself." ”
Parents will let go early, let their children choose life, to face life alone. In this way, children will plan the overall situation of their own life, thereby promoting the prosperity of the family.
When children who do not seek trouble, parents will not be filial piety, but will be dragged down. When your parents die, maybe everything will go to zero.
04
If the worst happens to the family, don't break up the family right away, but actively save the situation.
Remember what Zhang Ailing said: "Children in a loving family, no matter how unstable their lives are, are still full of self-confidence and compassion, positive, enterprising, and brave." ”
Solve problems with love, and you can solve them.
Both parents love their children, parents love each other, and children love their parents. On the basis of love, through communication, we can put ourselves in the right position, form a common goal, and plan a century-old plan.
Remember, a family's trends are created by parents and driven by children, and no one should slack.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.