A baby croaking to the ground, in addition to joy, but also responsibility, the cruelty of real society, so that parents into anxiety, all kinds of competition in the child's education problems are common.
However, sometimes the various things that parents do in the name of "for your good" are not accepted by the child, and even resist and hate, as some people say: parents are always waiting for a word of thanks from their children, and children are always waiting for an apology from their parents.
What can be done to establish a good parent-child relationship and let children grow up healthily?
Written by renowned life coach and speaker Christopher Meng, Intimate Relationships: The Rebuilding of Parent-Child Relationships may give you the answer.
1. Parents do not often look at their own behavior, and when they do, they tend to see their children as the problem and defend themselves.
Insight: Parents habitually blame and attribute problems to their children, so that they can rebuke their children with peace of mind and hide their mistakes and meanness. And children will inevitably doubt and deny themselves in the rebuke, which obviously has great hidden dangers for the formation of a sound personality.
2. Whenever you find yourself behaving inappropriately, remember that the child is right behind you, following in your footsteps and following your example.
Insight: Leading by example is always the best education. A parent playing with a mobile phone is not qualified to let their children learn.
3. When I was a child, my parents left me with the impression of "saying one thing and doing another".
Insight: Treating oneself with leniency and treating others strictly, in parent-child relationships, is too common, parents strictly require their children to be a perfect person, but at the same time indulge themselves. For young children, the difference between words and deeds will inevitably lead to confusion in the process of establishing values.
4. Parents also need to grow, children are the perfect design of heaven, is to help us grow.
Insight: I have seen people lament more than once, why do parents not need to be trained? Too many irresponsible parents are bound to cause difficulties in the growth of children.
Families with troubled children also tend to have a variety of problems.
Being a parent is a new profession in life, which is related to the future development of a life. Raising children is not like having pets, you can eat and drink, tease when you want to tease, and ignore it when you are unhappy.
Children will one day grow up and be independent, unlike pets, who depend on you for a lifetime of eating and drinking. Therefore, raising a child requires more mental effort.
Children are the mapping of parents, in the process of nurturing children, can make you re-examine yourself, if you can treat it correctly, then you will grow with your children and become a better version of yourself.
5. The best parent-child relationship is never based on parents' own experience. Forcing children to be "obedient", but to accompany children to grow into a smarter and better version of themselves.
Insight: The times are progressing, past experience may not be applicable now, parents can walk, children may not be able to walk, everyone is a different individual, even if our DNA is so similar, it does not mean that I am a copy of your life. I have my own path to go, and if you can support me and encourage me in the process, then I will go easier, and you will be able to discover some beautiful scenery outside of your inherent life.
Parenthood requires training, and if you also feel confused about parent-child relationships, it is better to start with this book "Intimate Relationships: The Reconstruction of Parent-Child Relationships".
May every pair of parents and children in the world respect and love each other and understand each other, kinship is a special fate, and I hope that this fate can bear sweet fruit.