There is such a common phenomenon:
When we are young, we will always be children in front of others, however, when we are old, we aspire to be "old children" around our children.
There are a lot of subtle changes and emotions hidden in it, especially when we go to our children's house for dinner.
01
First, let's talk about what parents expect.
As parents, they look forward to more than just breakfast, lunch or dinner, but also to share the bits and pieces of their lives with their children.
Imagine an elderly mother sitting at a table, with food on her plate reminding her of the meals she made for her children as a child, and that thought and gratitude would fill her heart.
She used to take care of the children, but now the children are old enough to take care of her.
She has deep expectations for this and hopes to build a deeper relationship with her children.
For example, aging parents may notice every detail on the dinner table,
Those familiar tastes, the beef soup they might have prepared one night or the dish that their children loved when they were young.
These have become the bonds of emotional connection between them and their children.
When they taste these dishes, they are not just enjoying the food, but also savoring the growth and change of the children.
02
Next, let's look at how children cope with this expectation.
They may do their best to meet their parents' needs, or they may neglect their parents' feelings due to the pressures of work and life.
In any case, they are trying to find a balance that works for themselves and their parents.
They may discuss when to invite their parents over to dinner and when to enjoy their time alone as a couple or family.
Like a friend of mine, he and his wife are very busy, but they decided to invite his mother over for dinner at least once a month.
He said he felt a deep sense of satisfaction every time he saw his mother taste his dishes and smile with satisfaction.
03
Finally, we discuss how we face this challenge as we age, and cognitive reflection.
As young people grow into parents, they begin to try to understand their parents' perspective and reflect on their own behavior.
They may realize that they missed a lot of things growing up, and they may also feel regrets.
I had an uncle who, when his mother grew old, realized that he had lost the opportunity to express his gratitude to him.
His mother always prepared delicate food for them, but he ignored this.
Today, every time he goes to his children's house for dinner, he always transforms this regret into understanding and acceptance for his children.
In short, when we grow old, go to the house of our children for a meal,
We will understand many things—about love, about understanding, about acceptance, about life, about ourselves.
Every meal is our thinking and understanding of life, taste and gratitude for life.
We all grow up in the passage of time, learn to understand others, and learn to understand ourselves, which is what we are all about living.