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The age of marriage for young men and women has both certain natural and social attributes. Ancient Chinese people paid attention to many children and many blessings, such as the "Book of Poetry, Daya False Music", there is an ode to "a thousand blessings, hundreds of billions of descendants". Therefore, early marriage and early childbearing are advocated. The extent of early marriage varies slightly from generation to generation due to historical changes and various social factors.
There is a saying in the "Zhou Li" that "men are thirty and women are married", and some people believe that late marriage was implemented during the Zhou Dynasty. In fact, this is only a maximum number of years for a man and a woman to marry.
The "Confucius Family Language" records that Lu Weigong asked Confucius, "Men are proficient in sixteen, and women are fourteen masters, so they can give birth to the people." Isn't it too late to hear that a man is thirty and has a room, and a woman is twenty and has a husband? Confucius replied, "Fu Li is also a word, not a pass." Men are crowned at twenty, and there is a father, and women are allowed to marry at fifteen, and there is a way of understanding. ”
Although the Confucius Family Sayings is a forgery book after the Han Dynasty, it can also reflect the ancient people's concept of marriage age. "Men marry at 30 and women at 20" as the maximum age of marriage that cannot be exceeded, while men can marry "with a house" at 20 and a woman at 20, and women 15 are "humane" and can marry, and 20 and 15 are respectively used as the starting years for men and women. In fact, the justification of early marriage is recognized.
No matter how many ideas and understandings the age of marriage existed in ancient times, the most important factor that determined the age of marriage was the socio-political and economic factors.
In order to multiply the wealth of society, it is necessary to accelerate population growth, and in ancient times, when social productivity was not yet developed, population growth meant an increase in productivity.
In particular, China is a country based on agriculture, with vast land and resources, and due to backward production methods, it relies on labor for land cultivation and utilization. In order to make the rapid population multiplication, it is necessary to advocate early marriage and early childbearing, so there is still a proverb in the countryside that "early planting of rice and early harvest of grain, early marriage of daughter-in-law early help, early birth of sons early blessing".
Therefore, in the spring and autumn, Mozi advocated that "when the husband is twenty years old, he does not dare not be at home, and when a woman is fifteen years old, he does not dare to do nothing, and this holy king's law is also." He believes that the marriage age is early, with an average of one child in three years, two or three children in ten years, and the population will double ten years early and greatly increase social productivity
。 Mozi's theory of early marriage provided the basis for the population policy of the feudal rulers, and the feudal emperors forced early marriage by decree in order to enrich the country and strengthen the army, in order to increase labor productivity and soldiers as soon as possible. For example, in the Spring and Autumn Period, the Duke of Qi Huan ordered men to marry at twenty and women to marry at fifteen.
After the defeat of the Yue King Goujian and the Wu state, in order to carry out the revenge plan of "ten years of reunion and ten years of lessons", he once ordered that "twenty men and seventeen women do not marry, and their parents are guilty" ("The Book of Yue Jue").
In order to increase the revenue of the national treasury, Emperor Hui of Han ordered that "women over fifteen years old who do not marry shall be counted five" and increase the poll tax by five times. The emperors of the Han Dynasty were typical figures of early marriage. For example, when Han Hui married his niece Empress Zhang, Empress Zhang was only more than ten years old; Emperor Han Zhao succeeded to the throne at the age of eight, and Empress Shangguan was only six years old, and when Emperor Han Zhao died, Empress Shangguan became a widow at the age of fourteen or fifteen.
Emperor Hanping succeeded to the throne at the age of nine, and Wang Mang married his nine-year-old daughter to him and made him empress. After Wang Mang usurped power, Empress Wang, who was only seventeen or eight years old and widowed, was made empress dowager of stability. Other emperors and princes of the Han Dynasty generally married at the age of fifteen or sixteen, and the empresses and princesses they married were generally only thirteen or fourteen years old.
Ban Zhao, a famous female scholar of the Han Dynasty, was only fourteen years old when she married the Cao clan. In the Jin Dynasty, Emperor Wu of Jin issued an edict in the ninth year (273): "If the female is not married in the seventeenth year, the elder official is worthy of it." "It was harsher than the poll tax imposed during the Han Dynasty.
Several women recorded in the "Book of Jin, Legend of Martyrs", such as Yan Xian, "Year thirteen is suitable for Du Shi". Wang Guang's daughter was fifteen years old Shi Meifang, and You Li was thirteen years old Shi Anjing. It can be seen that the age of early marriage in the Jin Dynasty is no less than that of the Han Dynasty.
During the Southern and Northern Dynasties, the Weishu Gao Yun Chuan recorded that Northern Wei "gave his wife a separate residence when he was fifteen kings." The "Biography of Weishu Mu Shao" records that Mu Shao was "the eleventh year of Shanglang Evil Princess". It shows that during the Northern Wei Dynasty, men were married between the ages of 11 and 15, and women were married at an even younger age.
When he arrived in Northern Zhou, the Book of Zhou Wudi recorded that Emperor Wudi of Zhou issued an edict in the third year of Jiande (574): "From now on, men and women who are fifteen years old and women who are more than thirteen years old, widows and widows, and the soldiers and civilians where they belong, shall marry at that time." ”
During the Southern and Northern Dynasties, due to hundreds of years of war and turmoil, the population plummeted, so that the land was barren, the fields were powerless, and the soldiers were lacking. Therefore, in order to reproduce and increase the population, the rulers promoted early marriage as much as possible, so that the age of marriage was lower than the period of maturity of male and female reproductive function.
In the Tang Dynasty, society tended to be stable, the age of marriage was slightly relaxed, and Emperor Taizong of Tang issued an edict: "Those who are twenty years old, women above fifteen, and those who have no husband, the prefecture and county will hire love with courtesy."
"New Book of Tang, Taizong Benji)". Less than a hundred years have passed, and Emperor Xuanzong of Tang opened the twenty-second year. (734) He also issued an edict: "Men who are fifteen and women who are thirteen or older shall marry." (Street. Book: Food Goods Journal) once again promoted early marriage. After the Song Dynasty, it was basically pretended to be the Tang Dynasty's Kaiyuan Order, but Sima Guang's "Shuyi" and "Zhuzi Family Rites" both believed that the marriage age should be over 16 years old for men and over 14 years old for women. During the Ming and Qing dynasties, this standard was basically followed.
In ancient literature, the folk custom of early marriage can also be reflected. For example, in the Hanle Fu poem "Peacock Southeast Flight", Jiao Zhongqing's wife Liu Shinu is described: "Sixteen recite poetry books, seventeen marry a woman, and the heart is always bitter..." In the Tang Dynasty, Li Bai's "Changganxing" has the verse "Fourteen are gentlemen's women, shame has not been tasted"; Emperor Wudi of Liang's "Song of the Water in the River": "The water in the river flows eastward, Luoyang's daughter is named Mochou, thirteen can weave, fourteen Caisang Mo South Head." Fifteen married Lu Lang's wife, and sixteen gave birth to a monkey. ”
The Tang Dynasty poet Bai Juyi once talked about the concept of early marriage in a poem: "Marriage is not early, childbirth is often delayed, children are underage, and parents are declining." "It is considered that the marriage age is too late and the birth is too late, and the children are underage and the parents are old, which makes it difficult to support the parents. This is the general psychological state of early marriage among the people.
Early marriage in ancient China is a relatively common historical phenomenon, but not all people absolutely practice early marriage. Some people of insight oppose early marriage and point out the dangers of early marriage.
For example, Wang Ji of the Han Dynasty believed: "The secular marriage is too early, the way of parenthood is unknown, and having a son is due to unclear education and the people die." Sima Guang's "Family Fan" of the Song Dynasty also pointed out the various harms caused by the decline of the day, and advocated that the marriage age should be slightly raised so that he could remarry when he became an adult.
In addition, as a specific person, there are also people who marry later due to different specific personal and family circumstances.
As a woman, there are roughly three situations of late marriage: First, it is caused by ugly appearance and no one to hire. For example, Liu Xiang's "Legend of Lienu" records that during the Warring States period, the ugly girl Zhong Lichun of the State of Qi Wuyan (present-day Dongping County, Shandong) was extremely ugly, with high foreheads and concave eyes, stubborn throat fat necks, hunched back and protruding chest, long fingers and big feet, skin color like lacquer, yellow and sparse hair, and nothing to be desired from head to toe. So she is still an old virgin who cannot be married at the age of forty.
The second is to marry late for the palace maids who are prostituted and released. "Once a prostitute girl, now a woman", often lost her youth when she married Liang. And a large number of electorate women in the imperial palace of the past were palace maidens, most of them were "more than thirteen years of cardamom when they entered the palace", if they failed to be promoted to concubines by the favor of the emperor, most of them were in their thirties when they were released from the palace, and their faces were red and withered, and the late marriage caused by this situation has been in the past generations, and it is common.
Third, poor women from working people delay their youth and form late marriage because they cannot afford to buy dowry. For example, Bai Juyi's poem "Changqing Ji" describes: "The rich girl of the Red Chamber, embroidered with golden wisps, does not hold hands when she sees people, and is coquettish in the early twenty-eighth century." The mother and brother did not speak, and they were married. A poor girl with a green window, more than twenty lonely, Jing Zhao is worthless, and there are no pearls on her clothes. Several times people wanted to be hired, and they hesitated again. The host will be a good matchmaker and fill the jade pot with wine. Four seats and don't drink, listen to me sing two ways. Rich women are easy to marry, and marry early and neglect their husbands. It is difficult for a poor girl to marry, and she marries a late filial aunt. Wen Jun wants to marry a woman, what does it mean to marry a woman? ”
It shows that rich women generally marry early, and they are married at the age of fifteen or sixteen before they are very delicate, while poor women in their twenties cannot find a mother-in-law due to lack of dowry.
Qin Taoyu's poem "Poor Girl" also sighed from the mouth of a poor girl: "Pengmen did not know Qi Luoxiang, and he intended to ask a good medium to harm himself." Who loves the amorous high style, pity the time of thrift and grooming. Dare to exaggerate the ten fingers and do not draw the eyebrows long. Bitterly pressing gold thread every year, making wedding clothes for others. "Although this kind of poor girl from a humble background has ten delicate fingers and high style, she cannot find a good match because of poverty, and cannot marry Ruyi Langjun, and can only make wedding clothes for others every year, and her own marriage has not been settled.
In the fifth generation, Cao Yan's poem "Poor Girl" also wrote about a poor woman: "Self-hatred has no mediator to marry late, and the old man meets the best period." She is a bride with white hair and a smile at a rich young child. "It shows that the poor families of the ancient working people still had more late marriages.
In ancient times, men also married later due to various circumstances.
First, he had a bad character and was looked down upon by people at the time, so it was difficult to find a good mate. For example, when the ancestor of the Han Dynasty, Liu Bang, was "good wine and color", and "did not do the production and work of his family" ("Shiji Gaozu Benji"), he was an authentic scoundrel, so he did not marry Lü Xi until he was about thirty years old. "Hanshu Yudingguo Biography" records that Yu Yong did not study when he was young, and was a wandering remains, "addicted to alcohol and more mistakes", and was a wine-colored disciple, so he remained unmarried for a long time, until "when he was 30 years old, he was practicing in a fold and joint", and became a person again, and he was "Princess Shangguan Tao". There are still many such cases in later generations, such as Liang Taizu Zhu Wen, Zhou Taizu Guo Wei, Ming Taizu Zhu Yuanzhang and others.
In the second case, late marriage is due to delays in schoolwork. Under the imperial examination system, many poor people had to study hard or go out to study in order to enter the imperial examination, and they could not have both fish and bears, and often became older young people when they achieved fame and prosperity. It is undeniable that many of these people hope to become famous and then look for the right partner.
The third is late marriage due to social unrest, which is common among ancient soldiers. Often fifteen or sixteen years old to join the military expedition and miss the marriage date, so ancient governments such as the Three Kingdoms, Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, often recorded widows and sinners' wives and daughters in various counties to marry soldiers, which shows that their marriage age is not too low.
Fourth, because of the poor family situation, it is difficult to get a proper dowry, so it is difficult to find a good mate. This situation is more common among working people, and it is not uncommon for some to even fight for a lifetime.
There is also a problem of the difference in age between the husband and wife. In traditional marriage customs, men are generally three to five years older than women. If a man marries thirty and a woman marries twenty according to the "Rite of Zhou", then the difference is not more than ten years.
In ancient societies, generally speaking, the age difference between men and women should not be too large. If you have a big age difference, you will be ridiculed. If the old husband and young wife are called "dead poplar birth ladder", "ladder", the young shoots of the leaves, it means that it is rare to see; If the old wife and young husband are called "dead poplar Shenghua (flower)", it is even rarer.
In fact, both of these cases have been rare, but not uncommon in history. For example, the "History of Women" records that Lu Lu was a school scholar in the twilight of the Tang Dynasty, and it was not until he was in his sixties that he married the daughter of the famous Cui clan. After the marriage, Mrs. Cui was young and affectionate, and she was dissatisfied with marrying her old husband Lulu.
Once, Cui Shiyun wrote about Huai Shiyun: "Don't complain about Lu Lang's old age, don't complain about Lu Lang's humble official position." Since the concubine was born later, not as young as the Lu family. Tactfully expressed her dissatisfaction with this marriage between old husband and young wife.
Liu Chang of the Song Dynasty did not marry until he was in his fifties, but the bride was a young and beautiful Erba beauty. Ouyang Xiu made a poem play: "The immortal family is a thousand years long, and the floating world is full of the sun and the moon." The peach blossoms in the cave smiled, and Liu Lang is now the old Liu Lang. ”
In general, in feudal society, the age difference between husband and wife is too great, but the age difference between husband and concubine is very large. Marrying a wife for virtue, taking a concubine for color, greedy for new colors, generally young girls.
Others take concubines because they are old and childless, and they have to be younger in order to give birth. In subsequent generations of concubines, the age of concubines was much younger than that of their husbands. Because after the Tang and Song Dynasties, there were restrictions on the age of male concubines, such as the Ming Dynasty, which stipulated that concubines over forty years old without children were allowed to take concubines, and concubines were generally under twenty years old, so that the difference was more than twenty years old.
In the Song Dynasty, Zhang Ziye was 85 years old and still wanted to buy a concubine, and Su Dongpo congratulated him with a poem and wrote with a slight mockery: "Mr. Jinli laughs at himself, and he can't deceive the nine-foot mane." The poet Zhi went to Yingying, and the prince returned to Yanyan busy. Xiangjun under the column still has teeth, and the history of Jiangdong thorns has no intestines. In his life, he was wrongly an Changke, and sent Peng Xuan to the back hall. ”
There is a joke recorded in "Moke Wielding Rhino", and there is a joke that Ichiro is more than sixty years old and has several concubines. His beard was white, and his wife and concubine were ordered to tweeze away. When his wife and husband were young, they were favored by the concubines, so they specially selected black beards to pluck out; The concubines also thought that their husbands were too old, and they wanted them to be younger, so they specially picked out the white whiskers. In less than a month, the beard under the chin was completely plucked. This is a joke, but it can also reflect that the age difference between husband and wife is not much, while the difference in husband and concubine is very large.
However, the situation of "Kuyang Shenghua" old wives and young husbands is much rarer than that of old husbands and young wives. The "Book of Jin, Legend of Later Concubines" records that when Emperor Wu of Jin married Jia Nanfeng for the crown prince, Jia Nanfeng was fifteen years old, and the crown prince Sima Xin was two years old. Later, this wanted the southern wind to fornicate the official court, autocratic dynasty, and created the "Rebellion of the Eight Kings", which greatly damaged the vitality of the Jin dynasty.
"History of Ming. Later Guizhuan records that when Emperor Ming Xianzong ascended the throne at the age of sixteen, Wan Guifei was already thirty-five years old. Uploaded as a joke in history. However, since the Ming and Qing Dynasties, it has been very common for women to be greater than men in civil marriages. Folklore Cloud: "Female junior, holding gold bricks." "There are actually a lot of people who are over three years old.
Especially in the old society, in the lower reaches of the Yellow River Basin, Zhizhi, Shandong, and northern Jiangsu, the doll affinity and foster brides-raising system prevailed, so the daughter-in-law who married into the door was much older than her husband. "Eighteen girls are nine-year-old Lang, hold Lang to the gum bed at night, and dress Lang in the morning." Ballads such as "The flowers in the well do not show their heads, the wife and the eldest lang are sad all night, and when the lang grows up in the future, pity the white head of the wife" and other ballads are the portrayal of this old wife and young husband-type marriage.
In short, the marriage age of traditional Chinese marriage is compatible with the deformed form of marriage. Either early marriage, or old husband and young wife, or old wife and young husband, the form is different, but the essence is the same, that is, the ethical concept of feudal society has caused a deformed custom of marriage age.