Life advice: wisdom I wish I had known earlier

终于把《Kevin Kelly 的《Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier》读完，把自己有启发‬的金句整理下：

About children's education

• To benefit the child, give him only half of his pocket money, but double the time spent with him.
• Read to your child regularly, it's the best "school" they can attend.
• When the child keeps asking an endless question, the smart answer is: "I don't know, what do you think?" ”
• Nurture resilient children so that they develop a sense of belonging to the family and make children proud of their unique family habits.
• Encouraging good behavior is 10 times better than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.
• Keep your child behaving: Bring your child's favorite bulk candy and throw a piece out every time you misbehave.
• Be kind to your children because they will choose your nursing home.
• Let the child choose the punishment for himself and they will be tougher than you.
• Instead of asking your child "what they learned today," ask who they helped today.

Interpersonal and communication skills

• During family quarrels, disable the word "you".
• Don't keep any of your gentle compliments.
• Don't pursue people who others like you, aim to make others respect you.
• The best response to an insult: "You may be right".
• The best communication sentence is "Yes-And" (a bit like a common practice for comedians).
• Ask for feedback and you'll get a critic, ask for advice and you'll get a collaborator.
• The more interested you are in other people, the more interesting they will find you.
• When you're young, you have older friends, and when you're older, you have younger friends.
• Calm is contagious, stay calm and help others.
• Ignore what others might think of you because they don't think about you.
• Usually, speak concisely.
• Criticize privately, praise publicly.
• Be polite and don't spend a penny.
• Improving communication skills is easier and more important than improving intelligence.
• It's a humbling and courageous experience to learn from people you don't like because everyone knows what you don't.
• When speaking to an audience, it's better to look around and focus on a few people and really believe what you're saying.
• Assuming no one remembers your name, even people you've met before start with their own names.
• To reduce disputes or tensions, mimic the other person's body language.
• When you make people wait, they start thinking about all your shortcomings.

Work & Career

• One-third of the time is spent exploring something new, and two-thirds is spent optimizing and deepening what already exists.
• The first idea may be good, but usually the fifth idea works best.
• Want to get something done quickly and let a busy person do it.
• The reward for good work is more work.
• Using money to buy someone else's time is often the biggest lever to hire and outsource as much as possible.
• Low-key commitment, efficient over-fulfillment.
• Don't be the best, be the only.
• Indulging in your customers will take you further.
• If your goal doesn't have a timeline, it's a dream.
• Figure out when you have the most energy of the day, increase productivity and protect that time.
• We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can achieve in 10 years.
• Never work for someone you don't want to be.
• You can't make smart people desperate just for money.
• The best way to give advice to young people: find out what they really want to do and then suggest that they do it.
• People can't remember more than three speech points.
• Backups are cheaper than regrets.
• Finish is more important than perfection.
• It's easy to think about the weaknesses of others, it's hard to reflect on your own, but it leads to higher rewards.
• Think twice before you speak: Is this true? Is this necessary? Is it well-intentioned?
• Explaining the problem is part of the troubleshooting process.
• Manage yourself with your mind and manage others with your heart.

Innovation and creativity

• Don't edit while writing, don't reflect when writing the first draft, judging will lose creativity.
• The most inconsistent idea of cosmic intuition: the more you give to others, the more you get.
• Everything that is real begins with fiction, and imagination is the most powerful force in the universe.
• Ask seven times and you'll find the answer at the source.
• When you get stuck, go to sleep and think again, give the subconscious a task, and the next morning there may be an answer.
• Cultivate an allergy to banality.
• Don't make the same mistakes all the time, try to make new ones.
• Learn to be alone without feeling lonely, loneliness is essential for creativity.
• The best way to get the right answer: post an obviously wrong answer on the internet and wait for someone to correct you.
• When it comes to the parts you think are important, pause and let the audience absorb the details.
• Spend enough time polishing the topic, as the theme is often the only thing people read.
• Don't struggle with the old and build the new.
• Instead of bashing out what you hate, promote what you love, live short and focus on the good.
• Your strengths and weaknesses are two extremes of the same trait.

Psychology and lifestyle

• The purpose of habit is to remove self-negotiated energy expenditure.
• Don't be in a hurry, when you're in a hurry, it's easier to be scammed or manipulated.
• How to apologize: Quick, clear, and sincere.
• The secret corrupts all who hold it.
• Rest and time off are essential for top performance.
• If you have good news and bad news, say the bad news first, because the end is better than the beginning.
• You can eat any dessert you want if you only eat three bites.
• The easiest thing to do to be a good ancestor for future generations is to plant a tree.
• All-round frugality so you can splurge your passion.
• Always give praise and take responsibility quickly.
• Property buying strategy: buy the worst property on the best street.
• Your time and space are limited, cleaning up, giving away things that no longer bring you joy.
• Unhappiness comes from what you want others to have, and happiness comes from what you already have.
• Anger is not an appropriate response to anger, compassion is.
• Worries are ineffective, and 99% of what you fear won't happen.
• You can choose to be lucky by believing that you are lucky.
• A third of life is in a bed and a third in a chair, and it is worth investing in a good bed and a good chair.
• The biggest killer of happiness: comparison. If you have to compare, compare with yourself yesterday.
• If you want to go fast, go alone. Want to go far and walk with others.
• The most effective way to control anger is procrastination.
• Popular Recipe for Success: Do weird things and develop your quirky habits.
• Everything you have has a cost, and not all prices are on the label.
• Read books that your favorite authors have read.