In the Japanese drama "The Most Perfect Divorce", the heroine Yunatsu Hamasaki once said such a sentence:
"Marriage is a large-scale Asura field, not only a contest of emotions, but also a contest of wisdom, but also a contest of courage and patience."
I think so.
People often see marriage as the "graveyard of love", as if once they step into it, it means that true love is doomed.
When the past love and passion, there is an impulse of three years of pain and seven years of itch, eager to escape from this prison that binds him.
In reality, men who abandon their wives and children and leave their families abound, and lovers seem to have crushing attraction to their wives.
The loss of a wife to a lover is indeed a man's heart, but the real 3 reasons are still worth all women's vigilance.
01
Good at talking in front of men
Tagore once said, "Love is a full life, like a glass filled with wine." ”
People yearn for love because it can give themselves a refreshing fragrance and a slightly drunken sweetness.
Men and women in the period of love, there are always endless sweet words, endless sea vows.
But after getting married, I will always get tired of being with each other every day, and I will never say the love words of the past, and I will no longer have the deep affection I once had.
Lovers are different, and the reason why she can get the favor of men is precisely because she has a clever mouth that can speak well.
Perhaps, her appearance is not outstanding, and her age may not be much younger than her wife, but she can observe words and speak eloquently.
While the wife is complaining about the short grudge in the parents, the lover is soft-spoken and intimately soothing.
When the wife blames the man for achieving nothing, the lover encourages and patiently exhorts.
This is not actually the wife's fault, after all, the lover can only see the man, but the wife has to pay attention to the whole family.
The chickens and dogs of life have made her have to wake up from the romance of the wind and snow and return to the reality of firewood, rice, oil and salt.
Those love words that used to be said by themselves and sounded a little fleshy are gradually replaced by straight words.
Ever watched such an interesting video:
Several boys deliberately released their voice chats with their girlfriends many years ago to each other.
After hearing this, most girls did not recognize that it was their own voice, but felt that their boyfriend was cheating.
The few girls who heard it would also feel shy about what they said at that time.
Nice words can always capture a man's heart, but the person who said these words changed from a wife to a lover.
02
Be good at dressing up and grooming yourself
Mr. Yang Di once said: "Love at first sight is just a matter of seeing the color, and long-term love is just weighing the pros and cons." ”
Love often begins with appearance, trapped in talent, folded in material, and finally defeated by reality.
Men are typical visual animals, and they are naturally attracted to beautiful women, even if they are only groomed beauty.
Bai Jingqi of "The Gate of the Mansion", when he first met Yang Jiuhong, who was singing in the Qinglou, he straightened his eyes and couldn't even walk.
Regardless of his wife Huang Chun, who had just given birth at home, let alone his mother's strong objections, he had to marry this second aunt.
Yang Jiuhong is far inferior to Huang Chun in terms of birth, personality or emotional depth, but he can charm Bai Jingqi just by his appearance.
Lovers always know this, and in front of men, they always dress up carefully and try to attract men's attention.
On the contrary, when she saw outsiders, her wife always dressed herself up as a showman, and when she returned home, she showed herself plain.
Perhaps, grooming the beauty of appearance is a very superficial pursuit and a false disguise.
But you have to admit that many men just have no resistance to this "superficiality".
As Marilyn Monroe said: "Outer beauty can nourish the eyes, and inner beauty can nourish the heart." ”
These two kinds of beauty are not incompatible opposites, but double advantages that can be taken into account at the same time.
Still others, who feel that deliberately dressing up to please men is an act of over-dependence.
But isn't showing your beautiful side also a pleasure for yourself?
In a relationship, if the other party can't see your external beauty, how can you have the patience to pay attention to your inside?
03
Good at overcoming rigidity with softness in men
There is a saying in the book "Lao Tzu": "The world is weaker than water, but the strong can win, and it is not easy." ”
There is nothing softest in the world than water, but nothing in the world can change it.
It is said that women are made of water, and whenever a woman shows her weak side in front of men, no matter how strong a man is, he will be soft-hearted.
Lovers take advantage of this, cleverly using coquettishness and banter to overcome rigidity and make men want them.
When wives encounter the same situation, most of them will habitually lose their temper, argue with men, and finally break up unhappily.
When these problems and conflicts begin to accumulate, the marriage becomes a burden on each other and slowly begins to break up.
In the movie "Ten Thousand Arrows Through the Heart", Li Baoli has a strong personality, while her husband Ma Xuewu has a cowardly personality.
The two have been married for many years, and Li Baoli rarely treats Ma Xuewu with tenderness, often calling him back and forth without respect.
When she moved to a new home, just because Ma Xuewu smoked a cigarette for the moving workers, Li Baoli rushed over and cursed.
In Li Baoli, Ma Xuewu couldn't find a trace of love at all, and he was full of resentment and boredom for Li Baoli herself.
Therefore, when he faced Zhou Fen, who spoke softly and was understanding, he immediately fell.
Writer Dean said: "Women who know how to show weakness with great fanfare are often the final winners." ”
A wise woman always knows how to show weakness to her husband at the right time, so that love leaves room for maneuver.
Use your own tenderness to make men feel their love, so that the relationship can last for a long time.
Belinsky once said:
"Love is the harmony and tacit understanding of two intimate souls in life and in faithful, kind, and beautiful things."
No matter how good a lover is, it is also a poison, destroying the happiness of marriage and destroying the beauty of the family.
Only a wife is the only true love that can accompany her to old age.
Life, half fireworks, half repayment;
Happiness, half striving, half going with chance;
Life, half sober, half relieved.
The road to marriage is long, someone can warm you porridge, someone stands twilight for you, this is the most wonderful love story in life.