Do you often think about what are your shortcomings?
Do you remember when you were a child, most afraid of what others said about you?
For a long time, I was afraid of being called "introverted", and I did have some introverts, not to talk, and not to take the initiative.
I used to think that this was the biggest obstacle in my career, and successful people in the workplace seemed to be proactive and resolute.
But now after the year of standing, I feel the dividends brought by introversion.
I prefer to be alone than with people, which gives me more space to think and predispose myself.
I'm more willing to listen than talk about it, which makes it easier for me to learn more and talk to each other more deeply.
It turns out that no personality is an absolute advantage or disadvantage, and the flaw that you are now haunted by is also where your talent lies.
Susan Kane, author of Quiet: The Competitiveness of Introverted Personalities, has been considered an "introvert" since childhood, preferring to read quietly by hiding in a corner alone.
Worried that she would not be able to get along with her peers, her parents sent her to summer camp to exercise, but she was always out of place in the noisy environment.
When others were partying in front of the campfire, she just wanted to leave the noisy party and pick up her beloved book.
After being pulled back to the campfire by her enthusiastic friends, she realized that she should try to blend in with the joyful atmosphere so that she would not discourage everyone.
As an adult, Susan Kane wanted to be more outgoing and courageous, and she became a lawyer who had to deal with all kinds of people.
Once, while chatting with friends in a crowded bar, she suddenly realized that she had really become an extrovert, but had also lost the advantage that introversion gave her.
She is not as patient as when she was a child to listen to others, her attention cannot be focused on quiet reading, and she has to talk to the people around her from time to time, and it seems that only a lively voice can prove her existence.
I once saw such a child in the documentary "After 00".
Xi Kun likes to study small scientific experiments and learn magic tricks alone, all of which are things that a person does with a stuffy head.
His mother was worried that he was autistic and could not communicate with his classmates, so she enrolled him in various speech classes and summer camps, hoping that he could be more gregarious and cheerful.
At the summer camp, the foreign teacher led the children to read and perform exaggeratedly, and Xi Kun could not adapt and could only hide alone in the dormitory.
In desperation, his mother personally ran to the camp to persuade him to participate in the activity, and Xikun, who was forced to integrate into the noisy environment, couldn't help but hide his face and cry.
Whenever he talks about magic, his eyes shine; But when he sat in the crowd and "performed" happiness together, he became extremely dazed.
In fact, everyone has two sides, introversion and extroversion, but to different degrees, there is no difference between good and bad.
Extroverts are emotional, open-minded, sociable, gregarious, decisive, active, fearless, but also easily excited, condescending, showy, flamboyant...
Introverts are sensitive, deliberate, shy, dull, thin-skinned, but also thoughtful, rational, modest, introspective, calm...
Extroverts can make good use of external resources, while introverts are more able to fully mobilize their internal resources.
Compared with extroverts, introverts are more introverted and stable, cautious and careful, and they also have advantages in design, scientific research, and text creation.
Extroverts tend to bring energy and enthusiasm to gatherings, they are confident, have strong leadership skills, are willing to be the center of attention in the crowd, and prefer expression to listening.
Introverts, on the other hand, are the best listeners, think twice before they speak, and don't take their word for it.
Therefore, their social skills are not weaker than extroverts, only their characteristics are different.
You often find that your most trusted friend is the quietest and most reticent.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said that introversion is the protection of introverts, and extroversion is a reward for extroverts. There is only a difference between the two, and there is no right or wrong.
We often say that character determines destiny, so what determines character? Is there a good or bad personality?
Paul Tuch, editor of The New York Times Weekly, has met countless American families, from poor families struggling on the poverty line to wealthy people living in top apartments.
After a large number of research, he found that what a person can achieve depends neither on talent nor on effort itself, because effort is only a phenomenon, and the reason why a person works hard has a lot to do with personality.
He summarizes the seven key traits for a person to succeed: perseverance, self-control, curiosity, responsibility, optimism, enthusiasm, and social intelligence.
These cannot be judged by merit, but by a trait.
Making good use of traits will help you, and it will become an advantage;
Repressive traits will pull you back, and it becomes a disadvantage.
If you're also an introvert, then you probably have good perseverance, tenacity to solve complex problems, and a keen eye for avoiding traps that hold others back.
If you like to take it step by step, don't let others force yourself to speed up.
If you like a single task and have a headache with multitasking, stick to your ground.
We are all different, and the biggest challenge for everyone is how to discover and make full use of their own strengths and achieve their own value.
Some people need to find their worth in the crowd, while others need to find themselves and gain the power of life through solitude, the difference between extroversion and introversion, and that's it.