Text | small fish
Editor|Zhiwen
On the one hand, Chinese people believe that the family and everything is prosperous, and the harmony and stability within the family are conducive to the development of all members of the family, on the other hand, family relationship is the child's first interpersonal relationship, which will affect the establishment of children's three views and character formation.
01
In recent years, with the increase of the country's attention to family harmony and family education, social workers have followed the footsteps of national development and paid more attention to the research on improving family parent-child relations.
According to surveys, families with missing members are more likely to have parent-child conflicts than families with able-bodied members, and parent-child tensions abound.
Common parent-child conflicts mainly include verbal violence, behavioral violence and emotional violence within the family, and if children in adolescence suffer from violence within the family for a long time, it will affect the child's personality, behavior, learning, and even lead to adolescent personality disorders.
After a long period of research on parent-child conflicts within single-parent families, American scholar Jerry J found that boys in single-parent families are more likely to form antisocial personalities and will be very aggressive to the surrounding people and society.
Girls in single-parent families are more likely to have low self-esteem or even autism, and will become cold and violent to their relatives and friends around them, and refuse to communicate with others.
Cultivating the rational growth of young people is an important task for the long-term and stable development of society.
A sound family environment is an important condition for the rational growth of adolescents and the cultivation of self-esteem and self-love of adolescents, at this stage, the state attaches great importance to the happiness index of the people, and the harmony of the family is related to the happiness and harmony of the entire society.
"Single-parent family" is a relatively special group in single-parent families, which is a relatively special group in single-parent families, which is caused by the death of the father due to accidents, and huge family changes have led to huge parent-child conflicts within many widowed single-mother families.
In order to study and improve the problem of parent-child conflict within unsound families and alleviate the tense parent-child relationship within the family, social workers intervened in the widowed single-mother families to improve the parent-child conflict problem.
By analyzing the causes of parent-child conflict within unsound families and the impact of poor communication styles on family harmony, we use professional knowledge and skills in social work combined with cognitive behavioral theory, family system theory, advantage perspective theory and the advantages of casework.
Carry out practical intervention for the client and the client's mother, help solve the parent-child conflict between the client and his mother, and build a harmonious family atmosphere.
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Research significance
From a theoretical point of view, the casework intervention study on the improvement of parent-child conflict in the family of widowed single mothers broadens the research perspective of parent-child relationship.
At the same time, it enriches the research cases of the special group of widowed single-mother families, and provides and accumulates real practical experience and reference for social workers engaged in similar research in the future.
From a practical point of view, the casework goes deep into the client's family, and while resolving the parent-child conflict between the client and his mother, cultivates the client's good study habits and changes the improper education method of the client's mother.
This is of great significance for improving the parent-child conflict in the client's family, and provides an effective reference for the intervention of the same type of casework.
A study on the causes of parent-child conflict in single-parent families
Foreign researchers believe that single-parent families produce parent-child conflicts, mainly because family members and family environment have changed, resulting in estrangement and conflict between two generations.
A study by American scholar Symonds found that when the composition of the family changes dramatically, children have a huge stress response, and this response has a lot to do with the reason and form of parental separation.
If parents still show affection and concern for their children after separation, there is less parent-child conflict within a single-parent family in this case. On the contrary, parent-child conflicts within single-parent families are very intense, mainly manifested in fierce confrontation between children and parents, and emotional instability of children.
Jacobson and Kelly and Symonds continue their views, arguing that emotional empathy between guardians and children can minimize parent-child conflicts within single-parent families after divorce.
Some researchers have discussed the reasons for parent-child conflicts in single-parent families from another perspective, believing that when a wife loses her husband and becomes a single mother raising her children independently, she pays more attention to her children than before.
Therefore, it may be overly sensitive or coercive due to excessive dependence on children and wanting to obtain more emotional support from children.
In such a family atmosphere, it is very easy to have parent-child conflicts. Domestic researchers believe that the parent-child conflict of single-parent families is mainly due to the close relationship between the personalities of members of single-parent families and the education methods of single-parent parents.
03
The factors that lead to paternity conflict in single-parent families are mainly divided into two aspects:
On the one hand, there is the problem of children, and on the other hand, the problem of single parents, in which children in adolescence are more prone to parent-child conflict between parents.
This is because in adolescence, their psychological maturity is relatively low, but they want to use adult thinking patterns to think about family problems, resulting in children unable to understand the decisions made by their parents, and then conflict with their parents.
Parent-child conflict mainly stems from the single-parent parenting model.
Single parents have assumed more roles and responsibilities in the family, but due to the limited time and energy of single parents, they cannot fully meet the growth needs of their children, especially the satisfaction of children's psychological needs, and only focus on their children's daily life and learning life.
This will lead to deeper and deeper conflicts between children and parents, and the relationship between parents and children will become more and more rigid, which is not only a harm for children, but also a major blow to parents, and even leads to a family fragmentation.
Some scholars analyze the causes of parent-child conflicts in single-parent families through the family level, and believe that parents' wrong education methods are one of the most important reasons for parent-child conflicts in single-parent families, because parents and children cannot communicate effectively, and cannot understand and tolerate each other.
There are even some parents who do not respect their children's ideas in the process of communicating with their children, insisting on letting their children live, work and study according to their parents' thinking mode, and over time, children in single-parent families are unwilling to show their hearts to their parents, and even self-isolation, resulting in cold and violent parent-child conflicts.
A study of social work interventions in parent-child conflict
Foreign intervention in parent-child conflicts is mainly carried out through psychological counseling or group training. More in the field of psychological research, most of the involvement in social work is the use of Satya family treatment programs.
The Satya Family Treatment Program combines the strengths of social work and family training, using psychological therapy techniques to intervene in families with parent-child conflict.
From the practical point of view, families with parent-child conflicts can basically achieve good communication among members of the family and harmony of family atmosphere after the duration of Satya family therapy.
Most of the social work interventions for parent-child conflicts in China are through case-by-case intervention to solve the problem of parent-child conflicts within single-parent families.
At present, most researchers adopt a case-by-case approach to solve the problem of paternity in divorced single-parent families.
Bad parent-child relationship is not only because of the divorce of parents, but also due to the wrong communication and wrong education methods when the father or mother raises the child alone after the divorce of the parents, resulting in violent parent-child conflicts within the family.
Based on this, the researchers adopted the method of case-by-case intervention to help divorced families mothers and children solve the bad parent-child relationship, and in the process of actual intervention, establish a good relationship of trust with the client and his family, which can more efficiently solve the problem of parent-child conflicts within the client's family.
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First of all, through questionnaire survey to screen families with parent-child conflict, and obtain various materials of parent-child conflict, combine all the information obtained, use group work, so that middle school students can learn communication skills with parents, understand and respect parents' decisions, and at the same time, encourage middle school students to boldly say their inner thoughts and dare to say no to their parents.
Then, the method of casework is used to focus on solving the problems existing in the client's personal and the special parent-child conflict problems within the client's family.
Widowed single-parent families
A widowed single-parent family is a family in which the husband dies due to various circumstances and the wife needs to raise her minor children alone.
In particular, the researchers noted that the concept of "widowed single-parent household" should be distinguished from "widowed single-parent family". The latter is not a "widowed" single-parent family resulting from the death of the husband, but in most cases the husband's lack of involvement in the upbringing of the children.
Parent-child conflict
Parent-child conflict mainly refers to the huge differences between the two generations, which may be caused by poor communication, emotional confrontation or the influence of objective social factors, resulting in the inability of both parents and children to reach an agreement, and then the conflict problems, including hot and cold violence and physical conflicts in parent-child relationships.
Introduction of the client
Subject: Amin, male, 15 years old, a second-year junior high school student.
Client's mother: Sister Lin, 35 years old, widowed, domestic service worker.
Client's Profile:
In the first two years, due to the death of Amin's father due to an accident at the construction site, Amin's father's relatives were all out of town, and there had been almost no contact since the death of Amin's grandparents, and Amin's mother began to raise the client alone.
After the death of Amin's father, Amin had two serious illnesses due to sadness, missed classes for about 2 months, and then returned to school, some could not keep up with the progress of school, and the pile of many negative emotions caused the client to be unwilling to socialize with classmates and friends at school, and unwilling to communicate with his mother at home.
Client's mother:
Amin's mother is a housekeeper, in order to ensure that the client's quality of life and living standards do not decline, Amin's mother leaves early and returns late every day, and has been open all year round for the past two years.
Because of the decline in Amin's grades and lost his temper with Amin, the most violent conflict, the client's mother hit the client, and the client ran away from home afterwards, this time it was the most intense parent-child conflict within the client's family.
Amin's mother has a relatively low level of education, can not tutor the client's study, and is busy with work every day, resulting in very little time to accompany the client, and over time, the cold violence within the client's family is very serious, Amin's mother reported that she has not communicated well with Amin for nearly three months.
05
According to the researchers, the client became very withdrawn after the death of his father, and Amin had almost zero communication with his classmates in the class, but he had a physical altercation with a male classmate in the first grade of junior high school, according to the researchers, because the male classmate said that Amin was a child without a father.
At home, the client and the client's mother basically could not communicate normally, and at the beginning, the client's mother would often ask the client's academic performance, but the client was very uncooperative.
According to the client's mother, Amin once had a conflict with him because of his academic performance, and then ran away from home, after which Amin's mother no longer dared to take the initiative to ask Amin about his academic performance.
Based on this, the researchers selected Amin as the client to help the client solve the parent-child conflict problem within his family. In order to dispel the doubts of the client and the client's mother about the social worker, the social worker decided to have a formal meeting with Amin and Amin's mother.
Explain in detail to them the services that social workers can provide, as well as their determination to sincerely help clients solve their families' internal conflicts, hoping to gain the trust of clients and their mothers, and lay a good foundation for future work.
After talking to the family, Amin expressed a willingness to make a change.
Armin told in detail about the change in his psychological state after his father's death, and through Amin's statement, it can be known that Amin's relationship with his father is very deep, so after his father's death, Amin could not accept this reality for a while.
And because no one could properly help Amin sort out the emotional changes, Amin became more and more depressed, even withdrawn, based on this, the researchers strengthened their determination to help Amin, believing that gaining Amin's trust is very crucial.
Through the communication with the client's mother, it can be found that Amin's mother wants to change her mood of poor communication and parent-child conflict with the client.
Amin's mother also believed that the death of Amin's father led to a change in Amin's personality.
Through simple communication, it can be found that after the death of his father, Amin's personality gradually became taciturn, and Amin's mother's heart for Jackie Chan is very urgent, especially after Amin's father passed away, he hopes that Amin can study hard like ordinary children, or even better than ordinary children.
This invisible pressure is also one of the causes of the parent-child conflict between the client and the client's mother.
In addition, in the process of communicating with the client's mother, although the client's mother wanted to improve the parent-child conflict between her and the client, she did not realize that she had a problem that led to poor communication within the family.
Therefore, in order to solve the problem of parent-child conflict within the client and his family, and improve the bad parent-child relationship between the client and his mother, it is necessary to take a two-pronged approach.
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Parent-child conflict in the client's family
Since the death of Amin's father, Amin's mother has become extremely busy. Sometimes Amin doesn't even see his mother once a week, because Amin's mother leaves work very early every morning and comes back very late in the evening.
But Amin's mother insisted every day that before leaving for work in the morning, she would put three meals in the refrigerator and leave a note informing Amin of how to heat it. It can be seen that the client's mother is very concerned about the client.
However, due to the personality of the client's mother, she was too authoritarian in the discipline of the child, and often forcibly instilled her own views on Amin with the attitude of a passer-by, resulting in the mother interrupting them before they could start formal communication.
Previously, the client's father played the role of a "peacemaker" to regulate the relationship between the client and the client's mother, but since the death of the client's father, this problem has gradually become prominent, resulting in the emergence of parent-child conflicts within the client's family.
In this case, Amin will avoid communicating with his mother, often the mother says what Amin stands aside and ignores, zero communication cold violence, sometimes the mother will start to scold Amin in a moment of excitement, sometimes Amin will run away from home because of his mother's persecution and oppression.
Therefore, the atmosphere within the family is depressed, the parent-child relationship is tense, and the parent-child conflict is obvious. After establishing a professional relationship of trust, both Amin and his mother became aware of the problems between them.
Based on the cognitive behavior theory to analyze the actual situation of the client, the first thing that can be determined is that the client has not completely come out of the haze of losing his father, so Amin's emotions have been out of control.
However, the client did not correctly realize that his emotions were out of control, and no one helped and channeled the client's negative emotions, so the methods taken by the client to deal with the mother were wrong, which eventually led to fierce parent-child conflicts within the family.
According to the guidance of family system theory and cognitive behavior theory, social workers need to help the client mother and son to recognize their own problems, realize that family relationships are not caused by one person, and both should make efforts to improve family relationships.
According to the guidance of the dominant perspective theory, help the client regain self-confidence, relieve the mental pressure of the client's mother, encourage the client and the client's mother to patiently listen to each other's views and pieces, learn to use the correct communication methods to communicate and communicate, and finally create a warm and harmonious family atmosphere.