Among the more than 100 major generals, lieutenant generals, and generals in the Gongdelin War Criminals Management Institute, Shen Zui is probably the best at telling jokes, he is like a brilliant comedian, he can make others laugh and not laugh himself.
A serious joke, this is also a skill, but Shen Zui also admitted that his joke was a bit mean, his good friend Pang Jingtang (who was the administrative inspector and security commander of Linhai District, the commander of the Linhai regiment, and the security commander of the seventh district, when he was captured, he was a civilian official, and his position was troublesome to write) once handed a note when he joked: "No matter how well a person says, you have to remember: when he says too much, he will eventually say stupid things." ”
The note was written with Alexandre Dumas's famous quote, and after reading it, he was deeply moved: "Yes, I say too much, and on that occasion, saying too much will lead to something that makes mistakes and is criticized and beaten." I was very grateful to this 'classmate' for taking care of me, so I respectfully handed it back to him after reading it. ”
Jiang Shan is easy to change his nature, and although Shen Zui is very grateful for Pang Jingtang's admonition, let him never joke, which is more difficult than ascending to the sky. It didn't take long for Shen Zui to put the words on the note behind and continue to have fun with "classmates", we carefully look at the seven jokes recorded in Shen Zui's memoirs, and we will also feel that he is sometimes a little mean, and if some jokes are said outside, they will definitely be full of old fists - fortunately, the "classmates" were more restrained back then, knowing that there would be no good results in fighting, and they could endure it.
Although Shen Zui did not graduate from junior high school, he came from a famous family, had a relatively deep cultural heritage, and wrote wonderful ancient style poems, playing with cold humor, and often caught people off guard.
Compared with regular generals, Shen Zui, the head of the major general and lieutenant general guerrilla commander of the Yunnan Station of the Secret Bureau, seems to be more flexible, so it is more clever to dig a hole when joking, and even Tang Yao, deputy commander-in-chief and chief of staff of the "Army General Headquarters" and commander of the Eighth Corps, who has always been good at funny, also fell into the big pit dug quietly by Shen Zui.
It was still in difficult times, in order to improve the food of war criminals, Gong Delin let them raise some small livestock and poultry such as sheep, rabbits, chickens and so on, so that they could eat their own meat, and kill them to eat meat when they were raised.
Shen Zui, who has always loved to tell jokes, saw Mo Dehong, commander of the Xiangguiqian Railway Escort Command, who was responsible for raising rabbits, and began to dig a pit as soon as he moved: "Those who have raised sheep become sheep, what official should you seal when raising rabbits?" ”
Mo Dehong is twenty-one years older than Shen Zui, and his personality is relatively stable, so he ignored the questions of the junior Shen Zui, but Tang Yao, who looked at the excitement, praised Shen Zui inappropriately: "That's Rabbit Master!" ”
What Shen Zui wanted was this sentence, Tang Yao unconsciously shook off the burden buried by Shen Zui, and left Mo Dehong angry without saying a word, and Shen Zui also pretended to complain that Tang Yao spoke too bluntly. Tang Yao was so angry that he rolled his eyes: Isn't the purpose of asking Mo Dehong just to wait for him to say what I said?
Mo Dehong is an honest person, Pu Yi is too, was drunk once joked, Mo Dehong saw Shen Drunk and hid away, but Pu Yi and Shen Zui were organized to go out to visit together, but they couldn't hide.
Shen Zui, Du Yuming, Puyi and others visited Wuxi, Suzhou and other places, with good food, drink and scenery along the way, Puyi was also very interested, praised the Suzhou garden, and said that the Qianlong Emperor wanted to go to Jiangnan three times, because the scenery of Suzhou and Hangzhou was too good.
Pu Yi gushed endlessly, but Shen Zui looked at a white crane by the water of the lingering garden and became interested: "This white crane also flew to protect it." ”
This is called which pot does not open which pot, Pu Yi was anxious when he heard it: "Old Shen, you can't make such jokes in the future, this is an insult to me!" ”
Passing through Ji'an on the way back from the Jinggangshan visit, Du Yuming took pictures of the rice transplanter being cultivated in the rice field, but was thrown on his head by a cloud of thin mud, and Shen Zui clapped his hands and laughed on the side: "The camera clicked, which caused the rice transplanter to 'click', which was very coordinated." ”
As soon as Pu Yi heard this, he immediately remembered the drunken rush a few days ago, and pushed him hard from behind, pushing him directly into the paddy field, making him covered in mud: "You are still happy to watch people's jokes..."
If the first three jokes are not harmful, the four jokes that Shen Zui and Fang Jing in the back, if they change the occasion, they are very likely to fight: hitting people without hitting their faces, scolding people without revealing short, and drunken revealing short kung fu, it is really a bit too high.
Shen Zui was only concentrated in Gongdelin in 1957, and in order to avoid being in the same room with Yuan Hongkui, the "old wrongdoer" who had already become the leader of the group, he went to the second group and lived with Fang Jing, a lieutenant general of the 79th Army known as the "good old man" (after the amnesty in 1966, he also became a commissioner of literature and history like Shen Zui who was amnesty in 1960).
Avoiding the "old knowledge in other places - enemy" Yuan Hongkui, he was drunk and began to take Fang Jing to make a joke.
As soon as Shen Zui entered the second group, he found that Fang Jing was taboo about others saying "hemp", and Qin Daoshan (former lieutenant general of the 10th Army of the 12th Corps, amnesty in 1961) in the same group deliberately teased him, and fussed as soon as it rained: "It's hemp rain again!" ”
Fang Jing's face turned red when he heard the word "hemp", and Wang Yaowu was still playing round field mending knives on the side: "Why can't you Hunan people tell the difference between drizzle?" ”
Of course, Shen Zui would not let this joke fall to the ground, and he immediately picked up: "Hunan people have always called drizzle Ma Ma rain, or leprosy drizzle, describing it as dense, more accurate than drizzle." ”
The second group laughed loudly, only Fang Jing pouted and slammed the door, drunk and innocent: Others say that he is somewhat inconvenient, I want to borrow myself to say myself, there is always no taboo, right?
Shen Zui is "slightly numb", and Fang Jing is "general numbness", of course, it is not the same. Fighting his own slight numbness, Shen Zui often joked with Fang Jing, who was fully numb, and Wang Yaowu, who had thick eyebrows and big eyes, also played his talent of cheering and sang and reconciled with Shen Zui.
One day, just after breakfast, Wang Yaowu and Shen Zui "discussed" Li Bai Dufu, but his eyes looked at Fang Jing next to him: "Combined with the characteristics on my face, I think there are two poems that I praise very much." ”
Wang Yaowu asked which two sentences were in a serious way, and also asked why the ancients praised Shen Zui, and Shen Zui smiled slyly: "Please listen!" 'It's not that the Jun family is beautiful, God is messing around! 'Isn't this praising me for being beautiful, and even God has circled me a lot?' These two poems are so good, I have also written two: 'I am glad to see that spring in prison is early, and the prisoners are full of plum blossoms!' ’”
Everyone laughed and sprayed rice, Fang Jing didn't say a word, put down the bowl and chopsticks and went out.
Fang Jing is a second-phase student of Huangpu, and he likes to identify with others with the window, fellow countryman, and the same family (he is a person from Chen Cheng of the civil engineering department), plus learning in the same group, that is, "four same", Shen Zui also chased Fang Jing to recognize the three same: "The two of us are also three same, one is in the same Beijing, and the other is the same group..."
Shen Zui deliberately stopped and didn't say, Fang Jing was a little anxious: "You are not from Huangpu, nor are you from Jiangsu, how can you count the three same?" ”
Shen Zui looked up to the sky and laughed, and his fingers flexed and pointed at the faces of the two people: "And Tongma!" ”
Fang Jing was really angry this time, and when he saw that the honest man was angry, he had to "sincerely" promise not to joke in this regard in the future, and Fang Jing changed his anger to silence.
Shen Zui's guarantee is unreliable, whether Fang Jing will retaliate, it will not be clear in a few days.
After the incident of "Liu Jiashu met a ghost", Shen Zui said that the generals in the meritorious forest were excited, and several good deeds deliberately went to the toilet in the middle of the night to see if the "female ghost" who scared Liu Jiashu to lose half his life would appear again.
The management of Gongdelin investigated and learned that it was Shen Zui who spread the news, so they asked his classmates in the group to criticize him, and Shen Zui also smiled and made an "oral review".
Seeing that this matter was about to turn the page, Fang Jing, who thought he had a chance to "take revenge", spoke: "You are 'deserting under a big hat', and you have not exposed your true thoughts!" ”
Fang Jing's words mean that Shen Zui deliberately added a big crime to himself, without talking about actual problems and responsibilities - this is not that Fang Jing went online to put Shen Drunk to death, but that the atmosphere of Gongdelin was relatively relaxed, and "mistakes" like Shen Zui were all "criticized" half-jokingly.
Shen Zui also knew that Fang Jing was just using the topic to play and want to ridicule, he immediately hit the snake on the stick, pretending to be a heavy "profound review", and everyone was sitting in front of each other, waiting for Shen Zui's words to be amazing.
Shen Zui carried out the spoof to the end, repeatedly showing embarrassment and twisting: "The main idea of my mistake this time is indeed different from all people. I am dominated by this kind of thinking, and I also feel very painful, and I can't break it if I want to cut it off, not only today, but I can't break it in this life! ”
Everyone encouraged (coaxing the seedlings), must be drunk to explain the words, Shen Zui finally "made up his mind": "A thousand words, only one sentence, this is a great conclusion summed up by thousands of people over the years." It's only four words, but it's the truth! The reason why I made the "most serious" mistake this time is the 'ten hemp and nine monsters'! ”
As soon as the four words of Shen Zui "Ten Ma and Nine Monsters" came out, more than ten students in the whole group were holding their stomachs, and Shen Zui also mended the knife without mercy: "I belong to one of the nine monsters, only classmate No. 7 (Fang Jing's code name) is the one who is not strange!" ”
Can't bear it, no need to endure it anymore, everyone can't help but laugh, Gongdelin study committee member (in charge of all the group leaders, has his own office) Wang Yaowu hurriedly came forward to stop it, this ensured that the ceiling was not overturned, Fang Jing's face was red circles brilliant, but he couldn't say a word.
These two "classmates" who were looking for fun with each other in Gongdelin became colleagues in the Office of the Commissioner of Culture and History, and when he ran for the leader of the study group of the Commissioner's Office, Wen Qiang was elected unanimously, and Shen Zui did not get a full vote and became the deputy leader.
Shen Zui was old, Fang Jing's life was overdue, and the two eighty or ninety-year-old people finally stopped joking, and Shen Zui was still full of nostalgia for those days: "Fang Jing is not only the ancestor of people, but also has four generations in the same household. Strange to say, the pockmarks on his face could not be seen clearly. It may be that the old man's face is wrinkled, covering up those circles. Of course, I am also a person who is the ancestor of people, and I will no longer recognize him as I did in the past, but like others, when I see him, I always politely call him: 'Elder Fang, hello! ’”
Some people say that Shen Zui is mean, some people say that Shen Drunk is narrow, the author watched the seven jokes of Shen Zui, and also felt that if I changed the occasion, I might be beaten, but at that time, everyone was under the same roof, not looking for some fun between each other, what better way to entertain? Fang Jing blushed angrily and did not remember revenge, and later became good friends with Shen Zui, how would you feel and evaluate the ridicule and parody of these two long-lived people in their early years?