(Author He Suohuan: Focus on psychological analysis of gender emotions, marriage and family, self-growth and personality, and follow me to bring you more knowledge)
Gu Man wrote this paragraph in the book:
"The two luckiest things in my life, one is that time has finally consumed my love for you, and the other is that one day a long time ago, I met you."
In relationships, people often fall into contradictory, struggling, and obsessive situations.
Although after the breakup, you resent your ex and could not accept that he deceived or hurt you;
But if you were given another chance, you would still choose to be with him.
People are always like this.
Some people say that they have already put it down, but they still often think of it;
There are also some people who can talk about their ex calmly, but they really let go in their hearts.
-01
Only those who have really let go of their loved ones will have these feelings
1. Emotions are becoming more and more stable
The main manifestations are:
Your performance when others talk about your ex;
When you think of your ex, your mood swings.
When you don't put the other person down, whenever someone talks about his name or something about him, you will be very curious.
After letting go, you can be indifferent even when others talk about it.
When you can't let go, every time you think of something related to your ex, you will fall into mental internal friction;
And after letting go of him, even if you think of your past together, you can be emotionally stable.
He is like a stranger who will appear in your memory but will not bother you much.
Be able to look at your relationship with him in peace.
2. From "forcing yourself" to "too lazy to think"
After breaking up with an ex, people often go through several stages.
For example: doubt, denial, pain, redemption, acceptance.
In the beginning, you always force yourself:
"I must not look for him, I must not find him to get back together."
While forcing yourself not to think about it, but you find that this is in vain;
Just like the "white bear effect", the more you ask yourself not to think about the white bear, the deeper the white bear is in your memory.
And to really let go of your ex, your mindset is:
Too lazy to think, too lazy to redeem, and even more too lazy to have any intersection with him.
3. There is no idea of "getting back together" with the ex
At the stage of just breaking up, you especially want to get back together with your ex;
Let go of dignity and humbly want to find an ex, hoping to get back together.
Over time, this thought will fade more and more.
Until:
You see your ex and don't have any thoughts of talking to him;
The ex came back to you to get back together, and you didn't bother to have anything to do with him.
To really let go of a person is not to not think about it, but even if you do, it will not have any impact on you.
-02
How to let go of someone you loved?
1. You are getting better and better before you can let go
The reason why you can't let go and fall into obsession is essentially because:
You're not doing well enough right now.
Think of it another way:
After breaking up with your ex, your career is getting better and better, you are promoted and raised, and the year-end bonus is paid more than a hundred thousand;
Your luck is getting better and better, everything is going well;
Your peach blossom luck has also improved, and the opposite sex is willing to take the initiative to know you.
Do you still think of your ex while watching your card's balance grow and you have a relationship with your current business?
Most people don't think about it.
Even when you think of your ex, your attitude becomes:
"I already knew that life is so good now, who would waste so much time on him."
People are like that.
If you don't live well, you will be trapped in memories;
Get better and better, and those bad experiences won't hurt you.
What is obsession?
Obsession is a person's regret, a person's unfinished business, and a person's subconscious unwillingness to admit their failure.
The way to deal with failure is that you succeed again and again.
2. Ex is not as good as you think
The most feasible way to forget about your predecessor is this.
On a piece of paper, list the strengths and weaknesses of your predecessor, which is the first step.
Step 2: Write down all the happy moments and bad moments when you were together.
If he has more advantages than disadvantages;
If he brings you more happiness than bad experiences;
At this time, it is still difficult to forget your ex.
This requires "horizontal comparison".
Find someone better than your ex and compare them one by one.
The advantages of the current office become disadvantages;
The experience you had with your ex wasn't as happy as you are now.
This is when you really let go of the other person.
Let go of the person you loved, and it feels like: suddenly enlightened.
After thorough and figured it out, the meridians of the whole body were opened.
Nothing more can get you into obsession and trouble.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever put down your ex?