Biologists did an interesting experiment.
A flea, without anyone interfering, is able to jump more than a meter in height.
If the flea is placed in the glass cover, the flea will reach the top every time it jumps, and the height of the jump will be consciously reduced.
The height of the glass cover is continuously reduced, and the fleas also keep reducing the height of the jump.
The most incredible thing is that after removing the glass cover, the jumping height of the flea will not increase.
This is the "flea law" - used in family relations, it will be found that the child is the flea, the father's glass-covered person.
The ancients said, "Those who make great things pay attention to the pattern." ”
And the one who really controls the overall situation in the family and can be called the pillar is the father. Therefore, the end of the child is the pattern of the father. When the child grows up, the situation will be clear at a glance.
01
The father who "silently lifts" carries the child's poems and distant places.
Zhang Yuming, a teacher in Jiangsu, thought of many ways to help students in difficulty.
Once, he asked a little girl to write an application for poverty benefits.
The little girl shook her head, like a rattle, and said, "No, I received the bailout, and my classmates will look down on me." ”
The girl and her father depended on each other, and after the divorce of her mother, she disappeared.
Teacher Zhang did not give up, but called the girl's father to the office and wrote the application. And agree to always keep it secret from the girl, so that the girl will not have a psychological burden.
When we are praising Teacher Zhang, we must also see a truth - good deeds have no traces.
Help a person, do not leave a trace; Love someone, too.
After a few years, when the girl grows up, she will definitely find "the father's actions".
There is also a girl whose father is disabled, who walks limping and relies on tricycles to make ends meet.
The girl and her father agreed to wait twenty minutes after class to pick her up.
The father would wait for his classmates to leave every time before he picked up the girl at the school gate.
The father knew that the girl had vanity, but the father tried his best to satisfy the girl.
Really, the best fatherly love is never vigorous, but - "fatherly love without a trace".
Love, many times, needs to be hidden, can only be understood, not spoken. Because love also binds a person's spirit and becomes a moral kidnapping.
As a father, to love in a way that is acceptable to the child fully respects the child's right to freedom.
Take care of the child's young heart, hold up good expectations, and life will go in a good direction.
02
"Magnanimous" fathers give their children unlimited opportunities for change.
When Washington was a child, he lived with his father on a farm in Virginia, and his father took him on horseback and did farm work.
There are a lot of fruit trees on the farm, the best is a cherry tree.
Spring is coming, cherry trees are blooming and bustling.
Father gave Washington an axe. He also said that it was possible to repair the fence or something.
But Washington turned around and cut down the cherry tree.
When my father saw the fallen tree, he was angry and asked who did it.
Washington stood up and trembled to admit his mistake.
The father said, "Son, I am glad that you are not lying. ”
Years later, Washington became president, and his father was proud.
Looking at the life of the famous host Cai Kangyong, we find that there are many inflection points, and each inflection point has been recognized by his father.
He said on a show: "At the age of 15, I thought it was difficult to swim, gave up swimming, and when I met someone you liked at the age of 18 and asked you to swim, you had to say 'I won't do it'." At the age of 18, you find English difficult and give up English. ”
While giving up, he repeatedly tried to change, being a director, actor, screenwriter, designer, writer... Always find a path that suits you.
An unrestricted life is really exciting. Compared to fathers who are very controlling, the difference is really big.
Many fathers have designed a path for their children, and if the child goes off track, he must be dragged back.
It is forbidden to swim in the river, do things unrelated to study, choose a major at will, develop hobbies... The strictness of the father has become the child's freeze frame, and the glass cover on the flea's head is the same.
Conversely, the father, who does not set limits for his children, is ostensibly herding sheep, but in fact is behind his back, watching affectionately. Use positive actions to guide positive energy.
03
"Humble and studious" fathers give their children the best education.
Zeng Guofan, who was sent to school by his father when he was a child; After failing the scientific expedition, he borrowed a hundred taels of silver, bought a book, and the person who paid the debt was his father.
My father also studied while working, and he was also admitted to Xiucai.
Su Shi and Su Zhi's father began to study hard in his twenties, and although he did not have a junior scholar in his life, he also learned through talent and became a magistrate.
In "The History of Rulin", Shen Qiongzhi is a female stream, but her father let her study. Because of this, Shen Qiongzhi escaped after being deceived in her marriage, made a living selling poetry, and was finally given a jinshi.
As the saying goes: "Birds want to fly high and flutter their wings first, and people want to advance and read first,"
One writer said, "Reading is like mining." ”
My father was the one who spearheaded the mine, and he could never stay out of it.
Look around us, many fathers are busy with work, busy looking at their phones after work, but never ask what their children have learned.
Yes, fathers can meet their children's needs for mobile phones, but they cannot establish a tall image of reading. If it can be corrected, the child's cognition of the book will be very different.
04
For children, the father is like taking the lead in doing the "carp jumping dragon gate" thing - how high the father can jump, the child can be better than the blue.
The famous orator Ke Hochul is a man without legs, but he says with great confidence: "It is not our bodies that are wrong, but the limits we set limits on our lives, thus limiting our vision and not seeing the possibilities of life." ”
The pattern, for children, is a directional marker, a booster.
Of course, there are always some fathers who severely curb the pattern of their children, or he turns the pattern of the family into a very small one at the beginning.
He is so lazy to eat, and he blames his wife's father everywhere for not being able to raise children who love his family.
A father who does not pay attention to the elderly cannot raise filial children.
Fathers who propagate the uselessness of reading cannot raise confident children.
A father who hates the rich at every turn cannot raise a child with a rich heart.
A savage and rough father who cannot raise children who love their family and life ...
Life never has a fixed form, and there are thousands of ways to live, as a father, don't understand too late.
The father breaks a path, and the child has one more choice; The father has one more word of encouragement, and the child has more confidence; The father has more responsibilities, and the child has more success.
Even in the ditch of life, tell children to look up at the sky and have a dream of longing for space.
Take the children, ride the wind and waves, life has infinite possibilities.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.