Raising a baby is not easy, it always makes people feel anxious;
It's harder not to yell or yell, but you've tried and always failed.
God, the power struggles and challenges of parent-child relationships are maddening!
As a parent, it seems that you have to be ready to take off like a fighter at all times, and you can't help but fire and yell.
Although yelling is not the original intention of parents, it is really unpleasant to use.
Are you familiar with the feeling of yelling and thinking, "How did I become like this?"
Shouting is cool for a while, but it comes at a price.
Not only does it make you feel guilty, but it can also make your child anxious, inferior, and possibly even more aggressive. They are also more likely to be targeted by bullying by others because their understanding of self and self-esteem is distorted, so they are more likely to be bullied by others.
So, parents have to get out of the yelling trap.
Maybe you've seen some suggestions on how to "don't yell, don't yell" and still find it useless!
If it is difficult for you to change yelling, then you must ignore that there must be these three habits behind not yelling.
- 1. Stopping and listening is the best trick.
To understand the problem, listening is the cure medicine, especially for children.
Imagine a scenario where your child is not doing well in school and your grades are slipping, and your first reaction is to yell criticize him. But what if you stopped, took a deep breath, and really listened to Him?
You may find that he is stressed, has difficulties, and needs your support.
By listening, you can gain a deeper understanding of your child's inner world and help him solve problems.
Another example is that your child refuses to go to school for fear of being ridiculed by classmates.
When you listen to his concerns and understand his confusion, you can give him a sense of security to help him face his challenges.
- 2. Wait: Close the distance with your child.
To solve the problem, children need the support and understanding of their parents, not excessive criticism and accusations.
Imagine this: your child comes home feeling down and you immediately question him what happened.
But if you approach him with a "wait" mentality, with a friendly attitude, tell him that you care about his feelings, and ask him to share his confusion, you will find that the child is more willing to open up.
For example, your child is ostracized by classmates at school and gets emotionally hit.
In this case, you can choose to close the distance with your child and gently ask him: "Honey, what happened at school today that made you unhappy?" ”
By asking simple open-ended questions, you give your child the space to share and make him feel respected and understood.
This intimate communication style can help you better understand his inner world and find solutions to problems together.
- 3. Look ahead: Don't go too far into your heart.
Sometimes, when your child's behavior touches your bottom line, you feel offended and hurt.
However, we need to be aware that children's behavior is often motivated by their own struggles and growth, not against you personally.
Imagine this: your child is disobedient and deliberately challenges you.
You can pause and think about the reason he may be doing this to explore his independence and boundaries.
Keeping this in mind can help you not over-personalize your child's behavior and reduce the chances of frustration and emotional runaway.
Remember?
Three mantras "stop", "wait", and "look ahead".
By learning these three habits, we can gradually get rid of the trap of yelling and establish a healthier and more harmonious parent-child relationship.
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Counselor & Marriage and Family Counselor
Thanksgiving to meet ❤️