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Private photo of Cao Dewang's dinner
Recently, I saw a photo on the Internet, which made people very emotional.
At the welcome dinner of the 9th China Entrepreneur Development Annual Conference, many people can be seen socializing with wine glasses, and some people are exchanging contact information with mobile phones.
In stark contrast, Cao Dewang, who sat there alone eating.
During this period, a young man with a wine glass wanted to toast Cao Dewang, but before he could reach Cao Dewang's line of sight, he was blocked by two bodyguards behind him.
In this whole dinner, everyone else may be trying to make connections, only Cao Dewang is really eating.
When they saw this photo, many netizens exclaimed: "So many people, it turns out that only Cao always comes to eat." ”
But when we think about it, it doesn't seem to be surprising.
He went from a poor kid to a billionaire through his own efforts, and now Cao Dewang's glass industry accounts for 70% of the world's share.
But even so, he still said very modestly: In my life, I have not achieved anything particularly great, just made a piece of glass.
Therefore, the confident Cao Dewang does not need to look at the faces of other entrepreneurs, let alone the so-called "resources" in the hands of those people.
From this photo, we can also feel that even if you know more people, it is useless, the real network is only your own strength.
When you become stronger, then others will rush to get closer to you, but those who will only raise themselves through others will never have a future of development.
For example, in a job search program, a young man in his 20s came to apply for a job, and he claimed to know well-known entrepreneurs such as Dong Mingzhu and Yu Minhong.
Hearing the man say this, the entrepreneurs in the audience naturally did not want to believe it, so they said:
Since you said that you know Dong Mingzhu and Yu Minhong, let's connect with them on the spot and see what the relationship between you is?
As soon as the words came out, the man instantly blushed, and the atmosphere at the scene instantly dropped to freezing point, which was very embarrassing.
Immediately afterwards, the show's hosts and entrepreneurs began to comment on the man's behavior, and they advised young people not to use these useless social networks to advertise themselves, knowing that only when they are strong will they have a better future.
Another entrepreneur said: "Treating useless social networking as your own network, in the final analysis, is just because you have nothing to show, if you go to the job search like this, how can others admit you?" ”
Therefore, in this society, the only capital you can show yourself is your own strength.
The word network misleads many people, many young people, one has no ability, the other is not diligent, and then began to hurry to build their own network, as if as long as the network is successfully built, then the world is invincible.
In their concept, it seems that as long as others accept his business card, then they can be my old friend all over the world.
For example, one night, when an employee in the sales department went out for a drink, he would involuntarily brag:
"You know who who is who is not, that person my friend, is in my friends list, don't believe you come and see for yourself."
But they forget one thing: networking is not how many people you know, but how many people recognize you.
Equivalent exchange leads to equivalent friendship
We can first understand what networking is, is it just to participate in various parties, join various group chats, and then exchange business cards or WeChat?
The answer, of course, is no.
The above actions only enrich your address book, but we must not forget that the essence of business is the exchange of value.
Writer Li Shanglong once wrote a very interesting thing:
He said he had a friend who had submitted his articles to a large newspaper before he became famous, but after each submission, he lost all his papers.
As a result, a year later, his friend's book was an unexpected sale, and for a while, many people came to him for an appointment, including the newspaper that had previously submitted the article.
What was even more unexpected was that the founder of the newspaper personally came to him to ask for a manuscript.
Now they also have a very good relationship, which is also because one needs to sell books and the other needs good manuscripts.
Someone once asked him why he still cooperated with this newspaper after rejecting him so many times before, and the relationship was still so good?
And he only said one thing: equivalent exchange, equivalent friendship.
Yes, if you don't reach a similar level yourself, then you can't provide equal resources to others, and obviously, others won't waste time on you, let alone deal with you.
If you think about it, it's true.
The key to knowing someone is whether they want to know you or not, and this decision is his, not you.
If you want to accumulate contacts, then what you can do is to constantly accumulate your own value and constantly export your value.
Only when you can help more and more people, your network will become wider and better, and the quality will increase.
I once heard a story:
In a rural village, there is a family that is particularly poor, so to speak.
On this day, when the family passed a fish pond, they suddenly saw a person who fell into the water in the fish pond, so they hurriedly jumped into the water to save people without saying a word.
What they didn't expect was that it was the son of a Taiwanese merchant in the county who rescued him, and in order to express their gratitude, they gave the family a lot of opportunities to make money, and soon, they changed from the original family disciples to small villas.
When most people mention networking, the first thing they think of is to let others help me, but only if you become someone else's "noble", others will become your nobleman.
Guan Zhong said: "Those who are good to others are also good." ”
Your attitude towards people is what others do to you.
Therefore, those who always think about themselves and then take advantage of others will never have good connections.
And the person you inadvertently help is likely to become your "network".
For example, He Jiong, almost everyone in the entertainment industry on his birthday will send him blessings, and his strong connections are unparalleled in the entertainment industry, it can be said that Vanity Fair is the most popular.
You know, He Jiong is notoriously warm-hearted, especially for those newcomers who have just debuted and are not famous, he will pay more attention.
It is precisely because he often acts as a "nobleman" for others that he has gained powerful connections in the entertainment industry.
The word network is even more vividly reflected in the entertainment industry!
"Connections" in the entertainment industry
In a show, there was a host named Huang Bo, have you ever suffered cynicism?
And Huang Bo said very calmly, of course, there is.
When Huang Bo was not yet on fire, it could be described in a tragic word, even when he went to run the dragon trap, no one asked him, and he almost starved to death because he had no food.
I finally had a chance to audition for the robbers, but the assistant director just looked at him and let him go, and then turned to the head of the group and said: "How can you mess around with people, what is this thing?" Isn't this all? ”
After hearing this, Huang Bo felt very uncomfortable in his heart, because he was ugly, even the robbers did not let me play, and in the end he could only give up.
But after this, Huang Bo began to doubt himself in his heart, was he really in the wrong line?
There are too many good-looking people in the entertainment industry, although Huang Bo's appearance is very bad, but he is talented, he will tailor songs for everyone.
He once said self-deprecatingly: "Actors are divided into acting and idols, and I belong to the third type, the physical school." It was because of this optimism that it became a blockbuster years later.
Today's Huang Bo has become a Golden Horse actor, but the ups and downs of the past have also made him taste the warmth and coldness of the world.
So he said, "Before I became famous, there was no good people around, and after I became famous, I was surrounded by good people." ”
Relationships are utilitarian and realistic.
No matter where a person has value or can create value, then this person will be more respected and cared for, on the contrary, a person who cannot create value, then it is obvious that he will be ignored.
Although utilitarianism and reality themselves are pejorative terms, when used in human relationships, many people may not accept it, but reality is like this.
If you don't mix well, not only your leaders and colleagues don't respect you, but even your relatives around you may look down on you.
The ancients once said: Poor people ask in busy cities, and rich people have distant relatives deep in the mountains.
This sentence is also very appropriate for Su Mang's body.
At a big show some time ago, a group photo of "Four Beauty" was on the hot search, and I saw Liu Jialing, Zhang Ziyi, Zhang Zetian and Liu Yuxin in the photo.
However, not long after the photo came out, another angle of the photo was exposed on the Internet.
Surprisingly, there was also former Bazaar editor-in-chief Su Mang who took a photo with them at that time, but there was no figure of her in the photos sent by everyone, which is obvious, which may be deliberately "cut" her.
This "fashion female devil" who used to have unlimited scenery and occupied the C position with a group photo, now only has a corner of clothes left in the photo, which is really embarrassing.
You know, Su Mang is active in the rise of Chinese fashion, but since she stepped down from the "high-powered" editor-in-chief of Harper's Bazaar, she was snubbed by the Vanity Fair she is familiar with.
In the past, actresses such as Carina Liu and Zhang Ziyi, who had a strong relationship with her under the magnesium light, are now no longer even taking photos of her.
It is estimated that no one has thought that people will not let anyone go, including Su Mang.
But four years ago, Su Mang was the one who sent the deleted version of the photo.
In 2017, Su Mang participated in a press conference with Deng Wendi, Li Bingbing and others, but in Su Mang's release pictures, he did not see Hong Huang and Zhang Xinzhi, only a few "bright and beautiful" remained.
This allows us to see: what kind of value you can give, what kind of people you will know; As much value as you can create for others, you have as much value.
Previously, Yang Ying and her girlfriend's party photos were also on the hot search, and to the surprise of their fans, the big star photo in their eyes stood in the far corner, and if you don't look closely, you can't find it at all.
Later, after deep pickpocketing by netizens, I learned that this so-called girlfriend photo was actually a party of rich ladies, including the daughters of luxury rich businessmen and the daughter-in-law of the Red Dragonfly Group.
Later, Yang Ying posted that you don't need to mind so much when taking photos with friends, you can stand wherever you want, but it didn't take long for Yang Ying to become the spokesperson of Red Dragonfly's products, which inevitably makes people think more.
Creating your own "used value" is the best way to network
In "Chinese Relations", after Ma Guoqiang left the system, all the bosses left him, simply put, that is, Ma Guoqiang has no use value.
For example, lions will never negotiate a deal with a wolf.
Before there was such a video on the Internet:
After the meeting, several billion-dollar bosses were about to make an appointment to play cards, and at this time, a boss who opened a supermarket chain but was worth more than 100 million thought that this was a good opportunity to make friends, so he proposed that he could go to play together.
After hearing this, these bosses looked at each other, and finally the highest status person spoke: A few of us play together because we all have an industry, what do you have?
At this time, the boss was said to be red-faced, so he was left alone.
It can be said that the essence of networking is trading, if you don't have much value, then why should others use the resources they have worked so hard to accumulate for you?
The way to quickly attract contacts is not that you force it, but that you should rely on your own strength to attract, create your "used value", and equivalent exchange is the best way for a person to quickly accumulate contacts.
Among them, the most important thing is to improve your ability, only after you reach a certain level, someone will be willing to take the initiative to greet you.
It can be said that the greater the exchangeable value of a person, the greater his social interaction, and the higher the level of people, the higher the social circle.
In this way, even if you fall one day, someone will still reach out to you, but they will save you because of your ability.
Networking does not rely on brushing the sense of existence, but on creating "value gravity".
If the law of gravitation is the law of interaction between objects, then "value gravity" is the law of interaction between people.
Instead of doing some useless work, it is better to spend all this time learning some knowledge and skills, after all, this is an era of strength.