#2023育儿季 #
Text/Lan's mother talks about parenting
Good education is never limited to academic performance
Like the correct three views and sound personality needed for future life, including self-love ability...
These are the abilities that parents must teach their children to grow
Waiting is better than acting, he loves better than self-love, which is also the best umbrella we give to our children
Tingting, a 9-year-old girl, was discovered secretly taking money from her home to buy toys for her classmates
The mother angrily taught Tingting a lesson, and then complained: "School teachers don't care about students, if they develop the bad problem of spending money indiscriminately and like to steal money to spend, then they will get it when they grow up."
After listening to this mother's complaint, I fell into a deep thought
It is said that "parents are the first influence of children", and the same is true for life and learning
Some abilities that are more important than grades will become the needs of children's future lives
For example, these three abilities needed for children's future growth may not be taught in school or appear in textbooks, but to some extent determine the texture of children's future lives
The first type:
The power to spend money
Although money is not omnipotent, it is difficult to move without money
Especially those days that do not know how to use money are not good
Cousin Huanhuan is a typical representative of the moonshine family
I take a salary of five thousand a month, but spend ten thousand ➕ consumption levels
Since living beyond one's means has become the norm, Huanhuan experiences different types of "debt collection" every month
No, the salary that was just paid a few days ago (5th) only took 3 days to make the balance in the card negative
What is the situation that the newly paid salary blows like a strong wind
Listening to my cousin's statement, part of the freshly baked salary is used to pay off debts
There is another part, bought a watch during a shopping trip, spending three thousand five
On the 4th day of paycheck, when my cousin asked me to borrow money for living expenses, I was directly stunned
It turned out that the cousin, who looked beautiful on the surface, lived a patchwork life in private
Especially for the sake of momentary consumption impulse, it should be uncomfortable to ask others to borrow money
It wasn't until that moment that I realized that the ability to control money occupies such an important position in our lives
I know a mom
After her son entered second grade, he had a fixed allowance every month
Moreover, from the moment the boy has pocket money, there is also a diary dedicated to bookkeeping, which is used every day to record the amount and type of consumption, including the change status of each purchase
Listening to this planning, document-based ability to spend money, I seemed to see the boy's excellent financial skills in the near future
Children who have the ability to control money from an early age are more secure than living a life that cannot make ends meet every day
Just like my cousin Huanhuan, when it comes to paying her salary, she thinks about the momentary consumption impulse in front of her, does not consider what should be spent, and satisfies her desire even if she borrows money that should not be spent
This kind of casualness that does not know how to make money and has no planning ability looks glamorous, but it is easy to live a messy life
Therefore, children are growing, and we also need to cultivate their ability to spend money from an early age
Probably starting from the fact that children can recognize numbers and know how to spend, they can take advantage of weekends and festivals to take children to set up stalls to experience life
Whether selling children's toys, vegetables and fruits, every buying and selling experience is a real lesson in money control
In the real experience of money domination, the focus is not on how much money children can make, but on making them understand that every piece of money is hard-won, and only by personally experiencing the bitterness of making money can they have future cherishing and satisfaction
Like the correct view of money and excellent financial management ability, these also need to be cultivated from an early age, especially the days when you have money in your pocket and eat without panic, which is a full and happy ordinary life in the future
The second type:
Social skills
At the previous dinner
A friend said, "In the future society, will the children who are not good at words and do not know how to socialize be able to mix in the future?" ”
At first, I just felt that this sentence was too anxious, and when I carefully recalled, it was another general taste
Cousin Huzi is a typical social phobia, and at the age of 33, he is still single
Because he can't chat, coupled with his sociable skills, the girls are not willing to get together with "honest people" like him
How honest can people who can't socialize or have poor social skills be?
I heard my aunt say that when Huzi's cousin first went to the blind date's house for dinner, he kept his head down during the grilled meal
The appearance of wanting to lower her head into the bowl also made the woman's parents accidentally spill the soup on her cousin's hair when serving the soup
The most important thing is that after cleaning up the oil stains on his hair, his cousin returned to the table and continued to grill rice with his head down
Until the "bang" sounded, after the bowl fell to the ground, the four eyes were relatively embarrassed, still embarrassed...
Blind date, break the bowl, then the good thing must be yellow
Later, relatives and friends also introduced several family affairs to my cousin, but the result was that they didn't get along well, and they completely lost hope as soon as they got along
There was a girl who was on a blind date with my cousin, my elementary school classmate, and they had only been exchanging contact information for a week
What's going on? The girl told me: "Just two sentences a day, no meal, what kind of food..."
Listening to this boring chat description, I probably found the reason why my cousin has always been single
Because he can't chat and lacks social skills, he feels not only boring but also embarrassing
Especially the girl's choice of mate, whether it is to go to the future life, or to talk about a friendship with each other, people who cannot speak or lack social skills often suffer losses, and it is easy to become the person who is ignored and snubbed by everyone
Just like his cousin Huzi, after experiencing many failed blind dates and abandonment of feelings, he also bears a great sense of inferiority in his heart
Even in life, he gradually became less talkative, and even when communicating with his family, he was faint, and it seemed that everything had little to do with him
This is probably a straight male personality who cannot communicate socially and lacks emotional intelligence
Therefore, the ability development suitable for future life should not forget to pay attention to children's social skills
Academic performance is important, but we should also pay more attention to the development of children's social skills
This includes developing their compassion, teaching children how to communicate with others, and how to control their emotions during social processes ...
Emphasizing children's interpersonal relationships and allowing children to have better ability in social skills is not only a fulfilling guarantee for future life, but also a human resource to stand on the heels in the future
When you are friends from all over the world, everywhere you go is what you meet, and it is a bridge for employment and life opportunities
The third type:
Take care of your abilities
For many years as a mother, I have been wondering what is the right thing to raise my daughter into
I thought about this question for a long time, until an experience found the answer
It was a rainy day and I went to pick up my daughter from school
After handing her the umbrella, her daughter immediately gave the umbrella to the classmate next to her, while she was drenched in the rain on the side
I am very happy that my children are generous and helpful to their friends, but I am worried to see my daughter in the rain
A relative's family has a daughter named Yue Yue
In my memory, this girl was empathetic and considered others first in everything she did
When he was in school, his grades were at the top, and he was a good student in the eyes of his teachers and a little Lei Feng in the eyes of his classmates
The classmate fell and injured and was directly escorted home, and the classmate said that there was too much garbage to sweep up, and Yue Yue would directly stay to help sweep the floor
It naturally feels good to be in the limelight, but it is not good to be too sensible and only think about others
After graduating from college, the empathetic Yueyue suffered losses, and also suffered a lot of deception and deception
In the first year of work, Yue Yue met the boy who made him fall in love with him
That glance was enough to fall into the feeling, so that Yue Yue, a silly girl, began to constantly wronged herself, earned money and posted it to her boyfriend, and an accident made her pregnant
I thought that after the crystallization of love, I would live a comfortable life as a good wife and mother in the future, but I was afraid that my boyfriend, who was responsible, would disappear without a trace
For a while, Yue Yue became the rotten dish that made everyone talk about it constantly, and even disappointed
And this is the blow to a girl who has lived in a praised environment since childhood, and the blow is unimaginable
In the end, Yue Yue jumped into the cold sea with disappointment, ending her precious life...
At that time, when I learned about this matter, in addition to regret and anger, what kind of helplessness and grievances did I endure to have the idea of giving up my life
I believe that the ability to care for oneself is a force that constantly strengthens one's heart, and loving oneself first and then loving others is the right way to open up
Suppose you see a kidnapped child, but you don't have the power to save the child
At this time, if you rush hard, you will be a hero for a while, and in the end, you will not be able to save yourself and others
However, if you remain vigilant and find out the other party's transfer route first, and then wait for the opportunity to act by asking for help from the outside world, then one more righteous force will have an extra chance of destroying the evil force
Therefore, standing still is sometimes a self-love, but also a kind of intelligence
And before we teach children to see righteousness and courage, we must also teach them to love themselves first and then realize the spirit of great love
So, what are the different suggestions and opinions on some of the ability improvements that children need in their future lives? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to share!