Children's feelings for their parents cannot be devalued, it is the purest emotion in the world, and it is also the most primitive emotion of human beings.
When children begin to dislike their parents, they have become distant from them. Because when a person begins to look down on his parents, it means that he has begun to become cold, selfish, and irresponsible.
In the hearts of children, parents are very important people, but when children look down on their parents, they are actually looking down on themselves.
What a home
One: "You are my life"
Everyone has their own destiny, and some are born poor, which is their own choice. But regardless of fate, parents are always the greatest reliance of children. Parents are the closest people to their children besides themselves.
But many people will understand this phrase as "you are my life", and once the child shows dissatisfaction with the parents, they will say "you are my life". Such words sound particularly heart-wrenching, how can children not hate their parents?
Children will feel that they and their parents are not people of the world, and how can parents regard themselves as children? And the reason why children hate their parents is because they think they are not good enough, they will be disliked by their parents.
In fact, we have to believe that everyone is excellent, and the reason why we feel inferior and hate our parents is only because we have not reached the height they can reach. As long as we keep trying, one day we will stand in front of them and say, "I'm fine!" ”
So stop taking what your parents say to you as a joke, and believe that they say it from the heart.
Rebellious children may be the purest
Two: "You must listen to me"
When children disagree with their parents, some parents will treat their children with a condescending attitude, "you must listen to me".
But some parents will communicate with their children calmly.
But as soon as they find that the child refuses to listen to him, they will immediately erupt and yell at the child.
In the eyes of many parents, this is respect and trust for their children, but this way of education does not make children feel love and warmth.
And a bad way of educating is to blindly let children listen to themselves.
For example, when you want to make a rule with your child, if you find that the child is not willing to listen to you at all, you will be very angry and say:
"I told you to listen to me!" And in fact, when a person is constantly commanded and directed by his parents, he does not produce any pleasure.
Instead, it only annoyed him, because he couldn't understand why his parents would let him do something he didn't like.
And when children can understand why their parents do this, they will gradually learn to resist.
Therefore, parents must pay attention to their tone and attitude when educating their children.
Don't always talk to your children in a commanding and commanding tone, only when parents truly respect their children as an independent individual can they grow up better.
Children always fail to listen to their parents' advice
Three: "You can't do anything wrong"
If children look down on their parents, a big reason is because their parents are too their children and they say, "You can't do anything wrong." ”
For example, when a child does something wrong, parents will reprimand them very angrily: "Why did you make this mistake again? ”
The child will also be very aggrieved: "I just want to help you sort things out." ”
Some parents even hit and scold their children for making a mistake and tell them, "I paid so much for you, you dare to hit me!" ”
This kind of behavior will not only not make the child sensible, but will make him more rebellious and hate his parents.
Because in their hearts, their parents are not angry that they made mistakes, but are still teaching them: "You don't make mistakes." ”
Therefore, if parents are too strict with their children, they will not know how to deal with their mistakes correctly.
Don't be sad
Four: "I'm terrible"
Some parents are always denying them in front of their children, "Look at you, it's always so bad", "Why are you so disobedient, it's really disappointing to me", "Why don't you kid know how to let a little brother" ...
And in this way, we can say a lot from the lips of our parents, and we often hang these words on our lips.
However, these words are also hurting the child little by little.
Just like when children are not able to rebel against their parents, parents will always say: "I do this for your own good";
When children grow up, they will begin to dislike the incompetence of their parents and feel that they can't do anything well;
When they begin to dislike themselves, it is the biggest denial of themselves.
Because when a person begins to deny himself, it means that he has reduced his value to the minimum.
And this sense of low value will not be accepted by children, so they slowly begin to dislike their parents.
The greatest loneliness in the world is that I can no longer live in harmony with my parents.
Five: "I don't want you anymore"
If a parent says something like this in front of your child, the child will be very sad and will remain hostile to you all the time. Even if he loves you in his heart, he will alienate you in action. This is because the child really cares about you and wants to have more contact with you, which is why he will express his love for you in this way.
If a person's feelings are despised, hurt, or trampled on by others, then he will no longer have any good feelings for others. Don't say something hurtful or sarcastic.
If you say such things to your parents, then you should stop asking him to love you. Because how good he is to you, that means how much he is good to you. If one day children really don't want their parents, give them freedom. Because in the hearts of children, parents are always the most important people.
The heart is broken, but there is no way to repair it.
Six: "I hate you"
"I hate you" is the most hurtful sentence for many children.
Children say "I hate you" to their parents because they feel they have the right to do wrong. But if parents take this sentence as a punishment for their children, they are depriving their children of their rights in disguise.
Many parents in life will use "I hate you" as a threat to make their children pay for the wrong things they have done. If you feel that you are "taking revenge", then never let your child know that such words will only make the child hate himself more.
In real life, we often hear things like:
"I hate you"...
But these words are just an emotional vent, and do not represent the child's true thoughts. This sentence will only make the child feel that he has been neglected, denied and abandoned by his parents. Over time, children will become increasingly distrustful and disappointed with their parents.
Children need their own space
Seven: "I'm a bad boy"
In the child's heart, parents are the closest people to him, no matter what he does wrong, parents will tolerate him. But sometimes, when a parent says to a child, "You're a bad boy," the child develops a hatred toward the parent.
"You're a bad boy" means: You're a disobedient bad boy, and I hate you. By saying this, parents are also lowering their relationship with their children to an unequal position.
In fact, in this way, the child will feel that he is very bad. Deep down, they feel that they simply don't deserve their parents' love. And when parents say such things to their children, they are actually hurting them.
Parents can love their children, but that doesn't mean they can express their love for their children in a way that devalues them. Because no matter how well children behave, they will look down on their parents deep down.