You don't need someone to tell you how to socialize
Socializing in the internet age makes people feel good at times, sometimes anxious, sometimes sad, sometimes angry. So some people say that as long as there is an effective society, don't invalidize social. Socializing is communication with others, can it really be divided into two? Precisely setting the criteria that work and what doesn't work, and benefiting everyone? We are faced with the fact that everyone is unique, with a wide range of personalities, how to accurately measure it with a set of standards?
Whenever it comes to holidays, we go to various WeChat groups, or privately poke many WeChat friends to send them holiday blessings. This type of social networking is simple, but it still takes a lot of time and effort. Sometimes we may also overlook those who care about us in the process. Does such socialization work or is it ineffective? You hope to build social activities through social exchange, and hope that in the future you can get timely feedback when you need help, which can be said to be effective; but ignoring the people who really want to be close to you, the people who really help you in times of crisis are nothing more than a few people who really care about you, they are precious, and in this sense it can be said to be ineffective.
Every day seems boring or lonely, to find friends to eat and shop together, just to meet their own needs to interact with others, this is not social? I think it's social whenever you interact with other people. The web is also another new platform. And people are not only social for the sake of future benefits, but also need to be emotionally satisfied, and they are also capable and have a sense of existence.
For some people who like to be alone, they do not need to supplement their spiritual strength through external support, nor do they want to obtain social resources through the outside world. Therefore, those socializations that are necessary for us may not be effective for them. Even sometimes, these socializations are a burden for them.
Communicating with close friends can certainly enhance our sense of intimacy; and at 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, a circle of friends from a circle of friends who are generally related to each other can not bring us a little emotional comfort. The reason why we feel "ineffective" in a certain social relationship may be that we put a lot of energy into the weak relationship and find that these inputs do not bring us the same output. When we find that no matter how much effort we put in, those weak relationships cannot become strong ones, and those potential benefits cannot become actual benefits. We will think that the relationship is invalid or unworthy.
In order to argue for the point of view of social validity, some people even mix a person with how to look at his circle of friends, which is too absolute. The reason why we feel that some social interaction is effective or necessary may be that social culture over-reinforces certain values. Connections are resources, and connections determine development, and these ideas are not necessarily suitable for everyone. Therefore, the effectiveness of social networking is difficult to define from the outside.
Sometimes a person's social activities are few, which does not mean that his social skills are not strong, and the future development space is not high. Similarly, if a person has a wide network of contacts and a high quality of connections, but he cannot meet his emotional needs in the process of maintaining the relationship, then these social interactions may also be ineffective for him.
So, when we talk about social effectiveness, we usually say that it is effective on a certain scale and to a certain extent. It is also said that within this scope, the needs of the individual and their satisfaction with social relationships play an influential role.
How do you determine how you're going to socialize in the future?
The first is to fully understand your social needs
Why are you socializing with other people? What do you want to get? This is not to let socialize with purpose and utilitarianism. Only by understanding your own social needs can you better express yourself to the other party, and the premise of expression should be sincere. Everyone can really feel the other's attitude, although someone starts to hide it well. If you want to build a more stable and long-lasting social relationship, you must be sincere and pay attention to choosing a more appropriate social method. Network or real contact, see which one you are better at.
The second is to allocate energy and attention wisely. Everyone's energy is limited, and the more they use it, the more they will do, the other thing will inevitably decrease. It's hard to be comprehensive. Observing our lives, there are various forms of social relationships. These social interactions may all mean something to us, but we may not need to put all our energy into strong relationships, and those weak relationships also need to be maintained to some extent.
We want to put all our energy into effective social interactions and maximize the benefits in these social relationships. Whether you want spiritual or material support from the relationship. The first step to do is to gain insight into what the heart really desires.
Author: Ah Han