Oral Description: The Flying Cat Finishing: There is a letter in the flowering period
This article is about 6000 words and takes about 5 minutes to read.
Thank you for supporting the original, and pay attention to "Blossom Letter"!
Recently, a news about depression rushed to the hot search, a class has so many children studying under great pressure every day, this data is very shocking, and it is also worth reflecting. What the hell is it that makes our children like this? Compared with the high data, I think as a parent of a child, we should reflect on what is wrong with our family education, any disease, except for the irreversible caused by congenital growth and development, is always more prevention than treatment.
Image from Web News
The following is the recovery process of a child with depression at home, which I sorted out. My friend's daughter, Wen Wenwen, is 28 years old this year and had a four-to-five-year experience when she was 15. Thanks to my friend for being willing to share his experience, I hope to help more families and children to get out of depression and experience a better life.
First, children who study well suddenly do not go to school
My child Wen Wen has been very intelligent since he was a child, from elementary school to junior high school, he is a class leader, and his grades are also good, and he is in the top few of the class. I never had to worry about her studies, and she was admitted to one of the best local high schools very smoothly. I got up at half past six every day and went to school, and arrived home at about half past nine in the evening. After the midterm exams in the first semester of high school, the teacher called me and told me that my child's grades had dropped very much.
When the child came home in the evening, it was already past nine o'clock, and I sat on the sofa waiting for her, and as soon as she got home, I asked her: 'You have dropped a lot in your midterm exam this time, what is the reason, tell me about it?' "She looked at me, and I didn't have me. Unwillingly, I followed her room and said to Wen Wen, who was about to write homework: "If you have any questions, you say, I can find you if you need to make up lessons, and I won't ask the teacher." Wen Wen looked at me a little aggressive, very angry, and yelled at me, "Don't worry about it!" Then he dropped the book, didn't wash directly, and covered himself with a quilt.
I thought she had to go to school the next day, so I closed the door and went out.
On the weekend, I asked her again why her grades had dropped, but she still ignored me, and then closed the door for a whole day, and I was also angry, thinking that her grades had dropped, and she was so disobedient to discipline and ignored her.
One morning the child did not go to school and said that she was not feeling well and asked me to give her a leave of absence. When I offered to take my baby to the hospital for a check-up, she refused, saying she was just too tired.
In the following days, I asked me to take her leave every few days, sometimes for half a day, sometimes for early self-study, sometimes late for self-study, saying that I wanted to sleep and was too tired.
Until one day, the child told me that she wanted to take a break from school, and she wanted to study at home. After I called her homeroom teacher, the teacher reported that after the midterm exam, her grades plummeted, and yesterday I called her to the office to criticize a few words, maybe the child has emotions. In the evening, I persuaded the child again, but she was very determined not to go to school, and I had to give him a week of invitation.
At the beginning, the child arranged his own learning every day, and there was nothing abnormal. Later, the child begins to stay awake at night, doing crafts or reading storybooks. I persuaded her to sleep, she told me to leave it alone, said too much, and locked the door directly.
A week later, the child continued to school for two days, and then asked me to give her a day off, which I refused, and this time, she did not go to school regardless of it. In desperation, I took another week off from the teacher. One night, my child told me that he wanted me to buy some paper to paste the window glass, put the window up, saying that the light at home was too bright and felt that the inside of the room could be seen from outside.
A few days later, the child said she felt someone in the opposite house peeking at her and asked me to put paper on all the windows.
At that time, my husband's work was not in the same place as me, and the family was me and the children for a long time. When I told my husband about the child, my husband felt that I was doting on her too much, so used to her not even going to school. My own anxiety could not be resolved, but I had to accept the accusations from my husband, slowly, we often argued, and I had to go back to face a child who refused to go to school every day in addition to going to work. I could sense that she had some problem, but I didn't know what the problem was.
Then one after another, she took two days off for a week, and slowly asked for longer and longer leave, from one week to half a month, and finally to one month. I took her to the hospital for a medical check-up without any problems, and a doctor suggested that I take her to the city to see a psychologist.
[Studies have shown that the more well-behaved children are when they are young, the higher the chance of suffering from depression when they grow up. Many children who study well have requirements for their own learning, and when they cannot reach it, it is inevitable that there is a large psychological gap, and if they cannot get timely solutions, it is easy to form depression. At the same time, in the face of increasing learning pressure, many children with unsatisfactory grades have a high probability of illness, and due to unsatisfactory grades, they may come from school, family and peer pressure, and are more likely to become a neglected group.
Second, psychotherapeutic feedback
I took her to the city and found a counseling agency. For the first time, the psychologist conducted an assessment and had a one-on-one conversation with us, leading her to talk about her troubles.
She believes that the teachers at school do not understand her, and her classmates laugh at her because of her declining studies; At home, her mother only focused on her academic performance. She feels that life has no meaning, that learning, and life are not satisfactory, and that she is powerless to change.
The advice given by the psychologist is to take a temporary leave of absence from school, create a relaxed family atmosphere at home, and actively help her get out of her bad mood.
Later, we maintained a weekly frequency and had psychotherapy, and I could clearly feel that the first two times had a relatively large impact on her, and she had some behavioral changes, but by the next few times, she fell into that rotten state again.
She asked me to buy her a computer, then suspended school, and started a four-five-year stay without going out.
[Adolescent children are sensitive and thoughtful, and when they find problems, they are often in the period of contradictions breaking out. Since childhood, it is very worry-free, often they digest some bad emotions, children at any stage, to pay attention to the child's mentality and emotions in time, if the child asks for leave and rest, the adult's reaction is often rejection, in fact, when the child is willing to communicate, it is sending a distress signal. 】
Third, the change of parents' mentality
Since I was a child, my child has made me very proud, and I rarely worried about her, and now, not only is my child not going to school, but there are some unusual behaviors.
I began to search for the cause of my child's illness, and I asked a few friends who were close to the child in the class to find out how she was doing.
I got some bits and pieces of information: 1. She had a conflict with a female classmate in her class in school, and that girl was in a class of her junior high school, and when her grades dropped and was criticized by the teacher, she laughed at her in front of the class, probably meaning that junior high school is not very powerful? Now even she can't take the exam, and she has been hit very badly.
2. There is a boy in another class in the grade who once pursued her, was rejected by her, and then spread some rumors against her, saying that she had many boyfriends. Some boys in the class also began to spread these rumors, and the class environment was very unfavorable for her.
3. Another thing that shocked me the most was that there was once a girl, with her sister, stopped her on the way from school and threatened her, telling her to stay away from so-and-so (the boy who pursued her in other classes). I don't know if these girls did anything to Wenwen, because I didn't ask if anyone saw it, and the girls who provided this information also listened to others.
To be honest, when I learned the news, I really wanted to rush into the school and teach a hard lesson about the people who hurt her, the people who made my child what it is. After the tears, I collected my mood and wanted a way to ask for help.
I turned to an old friend who was a doctor, an internist, who explained to me with what he knew, and he suggested that I take my child to a better psychiatric hospital, which he suspected might be depression. And after looking up some hospital information, I recommended a better hospital.
I took my child to a well-known psychiatric hospital in the city, and after a series of inquiries and examinations, the doctor told me that my child was diagnosed with major depression and needed to be hospitalized and take medicine for a long time. I was completely confused at that time, the child listened to the doctor's words, and was very resistant to the psychiatric hospital, refusing to take medicine, refusing treatment, and I had to take her back.
I'm in a huge state of anxiety and I don't know what to do? The child is very resistant to treatment, sleep is getting worse and worse, and some auditory hallucinations begin to appear, always feeling that others are talking about her and someone is peeking at her. When you are in a bad mood, cut some big and small holes in the curtains and clothes at home. During that time, I felt like I was about to collapse, I didn't sleep well for a long time, and I had to take care of a child who was in a very bad mood, and I was very tormented.
My doctor friend has been paying attention to my child's situation and giving me some knowledge about depression. I often couldn't sleep at night, crying silently, I felt that my child's future was over, and I had a headache and needed sleeping pills to fall asleep.
This process, more than 5 months have passed since the child's first diagnosis, and more than 8 months have passed since the child was suspended from school.
[It is very important to accept that the child is sick, not lazy. Many parents roar, and even do it to their children, including the previous news report that a mother secretly replaced her child's depression treatment medicine, all because of the inability to face up to the fact that the child has been ill, and is still using their own cognition to solve the problem, which is tantamount to making things worse for the child.
Fourth, persist in seeking treatment
The child still surfs the Internet every day, sleeps, and goes out day and night, and I don't talk to the child about her condition, but I care and take care of her as always. When I tried to propose a different hospital, she agreed. But there were two demands: one was not to go to a hospital like psychiatric disorders. The second is not to go to the previous hospital.
I found a larger general hospital in the city and hung up a psychiatric specialist, and we didn't mention the situation we had seen before. The doctor checked some items according to our description of the condition, and told us that the child had been diagnosed with depression and needed to take medicine for treatment. This time the child did not object, and we were prescribed medicine for a month and went home.
What I didn't expect was that the side effects of the medicine were very large, and after the child took it, he was dizzy, drowsy, vomited, and the person was completely dumbfounded, and had no appetite. After only eating for three days, she refused to eat again. So, everything returned to the original state, I was very desperate, the child refused to take medicine for treatment, I did not dare to force her, watching her reaction after each pill, I was also distressed.
At this time, two years have passed since she suspended school, and a group of their children are about to take the college entrance examination. The middle teacher has also proposed many times to either return to school or drop out of school, I think about the future of my child, and I have been thinking of various methods, constantly taking the medical slip to the hospital to issue a certificate, and apply for a suspension to keep the child's school status.
The child agreed to take the college entrance examination. So, that year, she had not been in school for more than two years, walked into the college entrance examination room, maybe she had not studied for a long time, the college entrance examination made her rekindle a little interest in learning, and she had the idea of continuing to study.
So, while the iron was hot, I discussed with her again, we actively went to treatment, well, continue to study, then all the classmates are unknown, you can start again. She had some heartbeats and agreed to seek medical attention again. This time, I found a well-known psychiatric hospital in the provincial capital, and we took the car, changed trains, and tossed for a day on the way there. Fortunately, the doctor I met this time is very patient and very experienced, the whole diagnosis and treatment process took more than an hour, the child directly communicated with the doctor is also very smooth, and with some examination data, the doctor told me that the child is indeed depressed, and a little serious, but her current psychological state is still good, is a good treatment opportunity, if we can adhere to accompaniment and treatment, her condition will be greatly alleviated, the probability of cure is very high.
This is probably the happiest news I've heard in so long, and these words are like a shot in the arm and bring great hope to me and my children. The treatment process will naturally not be so smooth, fortunately, the drug reaction this time is not so big, but in the first half of the month, there are also many conditions. I patiently encouraged her with the doctor's words, and sometimes she broke down and I broke down. Fortunately, after a difficult half a month, she began to have some good changes, such as being willing to go out of the door to the living room to watch TV.
In the middle of this, after I accompanied her to the university to report, I took her on a suspension. (I have to say that she has a very good foundation in the early stage of study, and the university has expanded, although she has only attended high school for less than half a year, and she was admitted to a fairly good college in the city).
After taking the medication for six months, we had another follow-up, this time she offered to take her to a nearby park after coming to see her sick, the first time she had offered to go to a strange place after she fell ill. That day, I bought her snacks, we walked for ten minutes, she was tired, there was no exercise for a long time, she looked really puffy, pale, very weak.
After returning home, she continued to take her medication, and her activities gradually expanded to the living room and occasionally to the kitchen. She asked for a rabbit, I bought it for her, and then she bought a lot of rabbit peripherals, nests, snacks, toys, clothes, etc. Although she doesn't go out, she spends more than a thousand a month. But I was happy that she had at least started to have some activities, although only at home.
After a year and a half of taking the medicine, she was almost fine, and she began to take the initiative to talk to me and her father, although the conversation was very small. Later, she ended her suspension and went to school, and the process of going to school was full of twists and turns, and after living in the dormitory arranged by the school for less than a week, she asked me to apply for her day study, and I had to rent a house for her, near the school, once a week. In the middle, I still maintained the frequency of taking two or three days off in January, so I could finish my sophomore year.
At the beginning of my junior year, I applied for an internship for him, and she went home again. In the meantime, she continued to take medication, and then started some outings, such as buying clothes, although many clothes she didn't wear at all, such as buying snacks, I no longer interfered. It took almost 5 years from his illness to his willingness to go out of the house.
[Parents do not give up any opportunity to save their children, for depressed children, they do not have the energy to solve the problems they face, otherwise they will not get sick, parents' persistence is very important, do not force, but also do not give up to guide children to a good direction, and to sincerely encourage and support children, help children get energy to face difficulties]
5. No requirements are made
For a while, she began to want to work, she herself went to find a job in a tutoring class night nursery, worked for a few days, felt that the boss was not good to her, did not go; changed another one, felt that the working hours were too long, and did not go; went to work as a waiter in a hotel, but there was a conflict with the guest, she was complained, the foreman criticized her, and did not go; The longest job is a hotel room center, just answering the phone. She felt that the night shift was too hard, so she went home again. I am inclusive and understanding of everything she does, and I feel that she has been out of touch with society for several years, and this is a good opportunity for her to re-establish her social position.
There was a kindergarten that recruited temporary workers, and she applied for a job and worked as a teacher for a semester. During this period of dealing with the child, I obviously felt that her mood had improved. At the end of the semester, the original teacher came back, and she couldn't go any further.
After graduating from Wenwen University, I wanted to take the civil service exam, so I asked me for 20,000 yuan and signed up for a civil service training course, I was afraid that she would be deceived, but then I thought about it, deception is deceived, and it is better than her doing nothing. At that time, she talked about a boyfriend, her junior high school classmate, met in the public examination training class, and made an appointment to go ashore for the public examination together, she took the exam twice, but she didn't pass the exam, her boyfriend was admitted and went to another city, and later, they broke up.
After more than a year of tossing, she applied for the public institution exam, and finally, she was admitted to a local bank. I found an object through internal introduction, the other party's conditions are not bad, and now I am married and have a daughter. Her ability to come out of severe depression to live like a normal person now is already the best gift that life has given me.
[Many parents with depression, after the child has a certain improvement, feel that the child is now cured, and begin to ask for learning and work. As everyone knows, healing is only the end of the disease, the time and experience spent in the middle is unrecoverable, many depressed patients will have some headaches or sequelae after some stimuli, only to lower expectations, accept the truth, help children find a way that suits them is the best solution]
Editor's feelings: Wen Wen is very lucky, she has a persistent mother, has a very solid learning foundation in the early stage, caught up with the good opportunity for university expansion, and met a very patient doctor after she had hope for life, there is a certain element of luck, no matter which one, it has blessed her recovery. Today's parents' awareness of depression is also much better than before, including the whole society, and the school's awareness of depression is gradually improving. And there are more and more, better and better ways to treat it. All diseases that can be treated are very promising. I hope that every child with depression can get better psychological care, get out of the haze as soon as possible, and embrace a better life!
If my text gives you some feelings and inspiration, welcome to communicate in the comment area, and thank you for your attention, favorites and likes!