#家长百问百答 #
Love needs distance, and parent-child boundaries are needed.
Love is a protection, but love that transcends the line is harm.
During the Chinese New Year, we came home from home for a year, and the children slept with us and made out.
On the first night, my daughter slept with me under a bed, and my son and father had a bed; The next night my son wanted to sleep with me, and my sister slept alone under my father's quilt.
When the children were asleep, Dad came and went directly to his bed, and I shouted: "Don't sleep over there, you sleep with your son." He should have been stunned at that time, and his tone was a little rushed: Then you say I can't sleep with my daughter yet? I also immediately returned: yes, now she is older.
Then he may also think that I have been instilling in my mother-in-law for the past two years that children sleep in separate beds, and men and women have to keep their distance, so he directly lay down under our quilt.
I told him that the eldest is now 12 years old, and his body has begun to develop, and at this time he can't give her the concept of blurring the boundary between men and women, shouldn't we parents establish a healthy and correct concept for her? When the second eldest slept steadily, I went over to sleep with the eldest one.
Since then, I have slept in two beds in turn (the two children want to sleep with me on a one-on-one day), I am changing after the child falls asleep, and every time the second child arrives at dawn, he says that his father stole him...
In the TV series "Centimeters of Love", there is a suffocating Xu mother.
She is divorced and single, and she worked hard to bring up her son Xu Qingfeng and train him to become a doctor and elite doctor.
The son is her everything, so her life, thoughts, feelings, she "has to grasp them all": dumplings should eat her designated filling, clothes should be picked according to her eyes, and objects should be found according to her preferences...
The layers of surrounded maternal love forced Xu Qingfeng to breathe, and finally broke out completely after being forced to break up with his girlfriend:
"I give up falling in love, I give up getting married, okay! No one will snatch me away from you! ”
Every "mommy boy" is actually a child who has not been able to become independent.
thought that he could raise a warm man, but raised a giant baby who was not weaned
Taiwanese host Wu Zongxian's behavior to his 30-year-old daughter is also unacceptable.
At the press conference, he resisted his daughter's resistance with a bruised face and forcibly kissed her in public to make indecent sounds.
Wu Shanru rolled her eyes and dodged with disgust on her face, shouting: "Don't! I'm your daughter! ”
In fact, it is not uncommon for Wu Zongxian to interact intimately with his daughter in public.
Wu Zongxian also helped his daughter personally carry a bandeau on the red carpet.
On the stage, he forcibly put his arm around his daughter's waist, and said endlessly: "The only female artist on stage I can touch is you." ”
Some people think it's fatherly love, some people think it's perverted. They have pointed out: When you are a father, there is no measure.
As the saying goes, men avoid their mothers, and women avoid their fathers.
There are many ways to express love, and don't choose one that goes beyond ethical relationships.
Since the divorce of Taiwanese actress Di Ying, her son Sun Anzuo has become her only "career". Her "love" for her son can be said to be unheard of and extremely "terrifying".
In order to allow her son to eat more, she can spend 7 hours a day supervising his meals.
She took her 5-year-old child to a couple-only kissing contest and kissed for 3 hours until her son was tired enough to fall asleep.
What is even more incredible is that her son has slept with her since she was a child, weaned at the age of 12, and separated from the bed at the age of 15.
Her pampering is indiscriminate, and Sun Anzuo has been cultivated into a "giant baby" step by step, arrogant and domineering, regardless of right and wrong.
In 2018, 18-year-old Sun Anzuo was arrested shortly after entering school in the United States for making comments about blowing up schools. Subsequently, the police recovered a large amount of ammunition and weapons at his residence.
From the second generation of stars to the prisoners, there is only a deformed maternal love.
Such an ending is sad and lamentable.
And Dong Jie, who gets along with his son in "lover mode", in front of his son, Dong Jie is not a mother, but a little girl who needs to pay attention to and care at any time, and if she is slightly unsatisfactory, she will make a killer move: "You don't feel sorry for me at all..."
Psychological experts once commented on the program: Dong Jie is a person who is extremely eager to love and be loved.
When she desperately asked for the protection of her children, she also caused the mother-child relationship to put the cart before the horse:
The top is precocious, and Dong Jie is late.
and Pan Yueming's different views and handling of many things led to the direction of their marriage.
Of course, she loves the top very much, but once this love crosses the line, it is a prison cage, binding the top and trapping herself.
"Mom, please always remember a word, you are a happy bird, you do not belong to me, you belong to yourself, you belong to the blue sky."
Remember who said this? This is what a divorced mother said when she brought her eldest son alone, and her son thanked her hard work in public on stage.
The most valuable thing about being a parent is never to sacrifice selflessly, but to know how to let go at the right time.
I love you and you are free.
This is the best gesture of love between parents and children.
#2023 Parenting Season#