As a basic unit of society, the family covers the individual, society and even the state and the whole nation, it connects traditions, communicates the present, and faces the future. Healthy family life can cultivate children with healthy bodies and sound personalities, and healthy family life will make children love their homes more and more with the passage of time, and they will feel that life is very complete. So what kind of family relationship is the most perfect family relationship?
In the family, the relationship between husband and wife is the mainstay; followed by the relationship between the child and the parents, which is called the three-element relationship; and finally the relationship between the child and the father, the relationship between the child and the mother, which is the relationship between the two people.
Normal family relationships should be like this, husband and wife holding hands, children standing in the middle of the parents, this is the most normal family relationship. Because children must be cared for by their parents to have a sense of security. Mom represents emotion, Father represents reason, child relies on emotion to nourish his inner life, and reason to develop his external world, and the two must be synchronized.
Many conjugal relationships and family relationships are problematic, and this type of problem is due to problems in the ordering of family relationships, which are mainly divided into two situations: three-person relationships in the family are not often presented or there is no real life of three-person relationships. The relationship between the three becomes a relationship between the mother and the child, or the relationship between the father and the child.
Take the relationship between the mother and the child as an example: the mother puts all her mind and time on the child, dilutes the relationship with the husband, and the family order becomes the mother and the child holding hands, the father standing behind, and the father outside the relationship. In this case, the child replaces the father and becomes the mother's spiritual companion, and the child psychologically assumes the responsibility of the father. And the mother will be psychologically dependent on the child, "I am dependent on you." In this way, on the psychological level, the child becomes the mother's "husband", and the mother's happiness is pinned on the child, which is the confusion of the family relationship.
This confusion leads to the exclusion of one of the spouses from belonging to the family, which also brings about the family's unstable relationship entanglement and external connection, and also creates problems for the child's future marriage.
For the physical and mental health of children, the impact of the family is very large. A large number of data studies have shown that poor family environmental factors can easily lead to abnormal psychological behavior of family members. These factors mainly include the following:
Parental relationships
Among the many family factors, the bad relationship between parents can have a great adverse impact on children's mental health. The child lives in a family atmosphere that lacks tranquility, peace and happiness, and all the conditions necessary for the development of the child's mental health must be seriously missing, so that the risk of neuro-psychological pathology is great.
Parents expect
Parents' expectations of their children are one of the important reasons that affect their children's mental health. Big data research shows that too high expectations make children have bad emotions such as fear, frustration, depression, and hostility, and too low expectations are easy to make children's self-evaluation too low, resulting in inferiority, self-abandonment and other bad psychology.
This kind of scene is not unfamiliar to many parents
Family parenting style
Family parenting methods have a direct impact on students' mental health, bad family parenting methods have a bad impact on the mental health education of primary and secondary school students, in the investigation of children with mental health problems, it was found that parents take "inconsistent attitudes", "mainly stress", "discrimination", "often scolding" and other bad parenting methods and children's personality, intelligence and the possibility of psychological problems have a certain relationship.
Role models for family members
Many educational psychologists have found that after studying the relationship between parents' ideological and moral conduct and children's mental health, the parents' own bad ideological and moral qualities have serious harm to children's mental health, and this harm is mainly manifested in: when children find that their parents are misbehaving, their self-esteem will be hurt to a certain extent, and their psychology will be overshadowed, resulting in depression, resentment, annoyance and inferiority. The negativity of personality makes them dislike the collective and the family, and once they come into contact with bad friends or bad thoughts, they are particularly prone to going astray; in families where parents have improper conduct, parents will lose their prestige in the minds of their children, and they will not be able to manage their children reasonably, and children will not trust their parents, and they are prone to hypocrisy, selfishness and other unhealthy psychology.
Parents' attitude towards life
Children need to grow up completely in love. He doesn't need to be burdened, he has to put all his life energy into self-growth and self-construction. Building intimate family relationships requires long-term effort and there are no shortcuts. Forming a healthy family and shaping new life requires ideals, planning, and diligence.
On May 25, 2015, the Psychological Research Center of Fudan University and the American School of Hypnosis Mechanism (HMI), based on the ultimate technical framework of HMI, integrated Sinology culture and Fudan's latest psychological research results to develop the subconscious empowerment mental bank training method, the sample big data shows that 2800 families adopted this method for a period of training, which changed the cognitive definition of the individual subconscious, and the healing efficiency of stress, anxiety, insomnia and other problems caused by poor family relations reached 90%. Long-term use of this method can improve family relations, for family members sincerely invested, mutual encouragement, mutual appreciation, mutual support, mutual care, mutual understanding, happiness and sharing, there are difficulties, the role of family cohesion and affinity has been fully released. The method you already know, whether you want to change or not depends on your cognition, because a person to change the cognition inherent in the depths of the soul will really be very painful, perhaps you have adapted to the current state, the wise see the wise and the benevolent, welcome to leave your insights.