Source: Vista sees the world
24-year-old Xiao Wu specially took 3 days of annual leave to go home early, but the duration of his mother's filial piety was shorter than expected.
The first trigger for the war was that as soon as he arrived home, he spread his suitcase on the bedroom floor and did not touch the nest for three days.
On the morning of the fourth day, Xiao Wu's mother finally couldn't help but open fire:
"Look at who is like you, such an adult, who doesn't even know to accept a luggage!" I'm going to trip every day when I open a window here! ”
Recently, countless young people posted the same suitcase on the Internet
Xiao Wu felt that it was completely unnecessary, stayed for more than a week and left, and it was a waste of time to put all the luggage into the cabinet and take it out.
But he didn't dare to say. Because once refuted, mom will count his other bad habits together, including but not limited to:
I never fold the quilt when I get up, the bowls of the day's meals are piled up to wash together in the evening, and the dirty clothes are taken off on the chair and folded into a mountain...
Recently, I have seen more of these familiar conflicts on the Internet, and I will suddenly understand why the word "relaxation" exploded last year -
Chinese families, accustomed to having to quarrel about all kinds of friction, are really too difficult to face each other completely easily and inclusively.
01
Wandering young people,
After returning home, he was a failure
There are many young people like Xiao Wu, and they also know that they are not diligent and very loose, but at least they have not caused any serious consequences.
Until after returning home, on the territory controlled by his parents, no matter how casual the rhythm of life is, it has to be tensed up for a second.
In essence, it is actually the party who has the power to speak strongly, the person responsible for eating and drinking Lasa for the whole family, who cannot tolerate the loss of order.
The whole family wakes up at 7 o'clock, just you get up at 12 o'clock; The house is spotless every day, and your suitcase is in the way.
In an orderly rhythm of life, suddenly breaking into a person who is sabotaging everywhere is upset.
And one manifestation of the so-called "relaxation" is precisely to accurately imagine a very rare family relationship:
Even if the pace of people is very inconsistent, even if the sudden situation disrupts the daily order;
The family can still face it with a calmer and more calm mind, rather than busy accusing each other, and everyone wants to conquer the other.
Of course, this sounds a lot like a fantasy. The hot post that made the "sense of relaxation" popular has been questioned a lot of questions about its authenticity.
Some netizens said that they met a family at the airport and got into big trouble because of a mistake in checking baggage.
But instead of being impatient, and the whole family did not blame each other, the whole family continued the journey happily. Wrong baggage, just find a way to solve it.
The truth of the story is actually not important, the huge shock it caused reflects that there is a consensus full of sorrow hidden in everyone's hearts:
"If I had caused this, the whole family would have buried me."
The so-called opposition between relaxation and tension is actually that one side is desperately trying to keep everything running normally, and the other side is not impressed, and the two cannot be reconciled.
Reflected in the New Year's war, in fact, the daily order of both sides was severely tested.
The family members who have been separated for a long time get along closely in the same space, and then they are surprised to find that although we are the closest people, we are so different.
It's good to stay at home, but another form of family activity during the Spring Festival – traveling together – is more likely to turn into a disaster within a disaster.
In short, it is the most unlax person who carries all the torments.
One of the most crushing outings Lu Xin experienced was when she took a combination of hell patterns during the Spring Festival - her parents, cousin, a family of three (children 3 years old) and grandmother, a bunch of people in their 70s, went to Hong Kong to play.
In the end, Lu Xin's carefully prepared itinerary that was detailed to what to play every hour was only half realized.
The other half of the time, every day is dealing with new chicken flying dog jumps: the cousin missed the shuttle for too long with makeup, the child was late for the performance after the mess of not eating, and the father wandered around the mall and got lost...
This time back, she was so angry that she vowed never to be such an unjust leader again in this life.
My colleague Xiao Y, every year when he and his daughter-in-law drive back to their hometown, they inevitably have a fight in the car.
In the first year, he was anxious but missed the exit of the service area, and the two complained to each other whether he didn't pay attention to the navigation, or whether the music broadcast by his daughter-in-law was too loud;
The next year, the snacks eaten by his daughter-in-law went straight to the dregs, and they kept stuffing them into his mouth attentively.
This year, Xiao Y said that he has discovered the secret, which is to put two people together and leave no one alone.
Now the daughter-in-law has gone to sleep as soon as she gets into the car, neither helping to watch the road nor responsible for feeding.
"Whoever loves, at least we can both get 5 hours of peace."
02
Relaxation is being trusted
The most tense person in the family is often shown to have a strong desire for control and high demands on others.
Sitting in the co-pilot is always worried, the person who masters the steering wheel does not drive carefully enough; If someone else washes the dishes, they will think that he is not clean enough.
But this may just be the surface. A deeper tension is a very hurtful "mistrust" between family members:
I want you to do everything well, but I'm always worried about whether you can really do it well.
Always worried, always arguing, and in the end both sides fell into exhaustion and tension.
Zhang Hong, a 32-year-old factory man, always feels that he has become the king of the roll king because of this, and he does not know how to write the two words of relaxation in life.
In the company there is no work to do he is faintly uneasy, whether the performance and evaluation are useful or not, it is best to get a good result to be at ease.
Because he is most afraid that his mother will ask when he plays the video - is the work going well? Is this month's bonus enough to spend? Does the leader like you? It's the same as asking about grades, rankings, and which university you can get into.
If it is a not very good answer, his mother does not comfort him much, but complains in his words:
What's good in a big city, you can't mix up anything, you don't even have a stable object, so let's go home.
The TV series "Little Huanxi" filmed a typical Chinese family relationship
Zhang Hong sometimes doesn't understand whether his mother is really afraid that he will have a bad time in Beijing, or whether she expects him to mix better in Beijing.
It is these expectations that make Zhang Hong very tired, but it is still difficult to relax.
Because your family never seems to trust you to deal with the North Drift alone, and those things that are a hundred times more difficult than the North Drift. Despite his age, society is reluctant to recognize him as a "young man".
Zhang Hong has been so nervous again recently, he decided to take his parents on a road trip to the next province.
This time, it was the father of the old driver sitting in the co-pilot who made him nervous - I remember when my father took him to practice, the criticism did not stop, and he was sweating after a lap.
In "Please Answer 1988", the daughter takes the whole family out for the first time after learning to drive
Zhang Hong is used to his parents' pickiness, but the more he does this, the more he wants to prove to them that he can be alone a long time ago, and he doesn't need to be treated as a hairy boy.
This was the first time Zhang Hong took his parents out for a long drive independently, and he made perfect plans for this trip.
He chose a car with a spacious space and a stable drive, from how many gas stations he passed to what he ate at each meal to control his parents' blood sugar, he planned everything in detail and played very "rolled".
At the end of the journey, once Zhang Hong parked the car on the side of the road to answer the phone, and when he came back, he overheard the old couple who got out of the car and whispered, and his father whispered that the bed in the hotel was not very comfortable yesterday.
The mother immediately slapped him, "Don't pick and choose, my son has enough to worry about this way, and he slept well the other days."
Then the two began to complain distressedly, how Zhang Hong's leader is like this, he has to make work calls after taking leave, and people are tired.
Zhang Hong, who was worried about the journey from beginning to end, suddenly felt that the whole person relaxed.
It was a pleasure of being affirmed, and it turned out that there was no need for family members to "compete" so much to prove that I could take responsibility.
My intentions for you, your dependence on me, may be embarrassing to say in ordinary times, but can be self-evident in a journey away from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
03
Find intimate moments that support each other,
It's not that hard
What Chinese families really need for relaxation and comfort is actually just a little understanding and understanding.
Let down your guard and have a little more opportunity to communicate, and maybe you will find that we are all just emotional animals that support and rely on each other.
There are no people who have never grown up and are not trustworthy, and there are no control freaks who are always tense on their nerves.
Lu Xin, who dragged a large plane and collapsed in anger, actually still traveled with his family later, but learned to no longer challenge super difficulty.
If you have children and the elderly traveling with you, try to choose a short trip that can ease your emotions and experience more comfortably, and you don't have to force everyone to travel with military training.
After this successful attempt, Zhang Hong began to plan his parents' travel plans more actively. This year, the emotionally stable fiancée is also about to join them.
Zhang Hong was not worried about embarrassment at all, but everyone naturally provoked a conversation during the drive, which was much easier than sitting at the dinner table without words.
Find the cracks in your life and let your true feelings flow to each other.
In such efforts, perhaps the relaxation we desire is not so difficult to achieve, whether in daily life or on a road full of changes and surprises.
It is foreseeable that in the upcoming Spring Festival holiday, countless families are about to reunite and choose to travel by car to spend a good time.
At this time, the car on the road is not only a means of transportation, but also an intimate space that the family rarely shares throughout the year.
For family pillars like Lu Xin and Zhang Hong, travel means considering everyone's complex and different needs, and hoping that everyone can enjoy a high-quality journey happily.
During this year's trip, Zhang Hong was determined to change to a high-end home MPV to upgrade the travel experience of the whole family.
Mom has had a bit of a problem with her waist in the past two years, and it will be uncomfortable to sit in a position for a long time, and she needs more spacious rear seat space on the road to self-driving. The second-row independent seats, which can flexibly adjust the angle and allow the legs to be raised and relaxed, help a lot.
Zhang Hong planned that the family could experience more of the countryside this time, and specially purchased two new sets of fishing equipment, waiting to compete with his fishing master father in the wild.
Since the new car has a large and flexible luggage space, Zhang Hong no longer has to rack his brains to plan the on-board space, and the complete luggage list can be loaded.
A lot of things to worry about have also been swept away with the upgrading of the driving experience. The intelligent electric hybrid double engine system and the quasi-L2 intelligent assistant driving system with fuel consumption as low as 5.3L per 100 kilometers have given Zhang Hong a more solid sense of stability when carrying the whole family, which in turn makes his family feel more at ease with him.
More importantly, on the journey with this Saina, we were able to enter a truly relaxing and enjoyable space.
The closest people drive through the thousands of miles under their feet together, see the same scenery in their eyes, experience the same spring, summer, autumn and winter together, and share a beautiful memory of moving forward together.
It's the journey, but it's also the life we aspire to, and the true sense of relaxation flows in it.
This is also the "Saina Light" that Xena has always advocated - Xena is not only a means of transportation, but also a mobile house.
Joy, anger, sorrow, laughter and sorrow are all extensions of every precious emotional experience in daily life.
Everyone can create their own "race light" during the journey, just as everyone can release themselves from the tension of life in time.
Source: GAC Toyota-Saina photo
Leaving with Xena, we were able to enjoy spending time with our elderly parents and young children, and temporarily break free from the pressures of life.
It is also in such emotional interactions that I realize that I should bravely express my concern for my family and be healed by intimate relationships, rather than being kidnapped and troubled by it.
On the long road of life, Xena is not only a car, but also a life partner who is firmly moving forward together.
We share joy, we pass on our care, we support each other, and we will eventually find true peace and joy.