Symbiosis
Yu Junping
As soon as the ferry docked, Xia Xiaoqi fled and got off the boat, with the hot breath of the child on his back. During the whole process of crossing the sea, the child was beastly in the back seat, and within a few minutes, he stepped on a black footprint on his shoulder, touched his headphone cable with sticky fingers, breathed in his ear, and spilled a string of liquid that I don't know whether it was saliva or drink on his sleeve. However, it was only a small part of the long and chaotic journey, and he was so tired that he did not have any temper.
The sea foams beneath your feet, and tourists scatter like exploding fireworks on the shore. On the boulevard, phoenix trees compete to bloom, and the mid-air seems to be shrouded in endless flames, and the heat wave rolls. Xia Xiaoqi clicked on the navigation, just buried his head and hurriedly walked, he wanted to pass through the crowd quickly, arrive at the youth hostel quickly, take a good bath, and get some sleep.
I slept until dark and woke up at four o'clock in the morning. The first time he woke up so early, his limbs were full of stretching after sleep, and his mood was surprisingly peaceful. The boys in the room were snoring, and he picked up his backpack and tiptoed out the door.
It was still dark, and the street lamps were hidden among the lush trees, a long way away. In the half-light and half-dark light, large areas of frangipani exude a sweet fragrance, and the air is cool and moist. At night, the tide rises, many reefs are gone, the sea is like a mirror, and the noise of the day seems to take place in another world. He vaguely remembered the direction of Sunshine Rock, along the mountain road, and sure enough, he saw the big banyan tree at the fork in the road, almost ten years later, it was still full of hair, and it had not changed at all. There were thick green vines hanging on the side of the ramp, and the road was steep, but he walked easily.
"Village chief, there are three roads, how to go?" The 10-year-old stood under a tree, holding up his binoculars and asking his father.
The real dad is not the resourceful slow sheep village chief. He carried a hiking bag that was forcibly stuffed into a number of snacks and fruits by his mother, and he was irritable because of lack of sleep and burnout. Although my mother at that time was not gentle, she was still enthusiastic and positive and had enough patience with them. She helped the slipped Xia Xiaoqi tighten her shoelaces, turned the brim of her father's visor hat to the back, and retied the messy bow tie of the wooden man on the side of the road.
"What is that big rock for?" He asked again.
"It is the highest point of Gulangyu Island." Dad said.
"It was the first place on the island to shine in the sun, and it was also where the family waited for the return of the voyagers." Mom said.
"Not fun, no KFC, no bears, no Harry Potter." I said it myself nine years ago.
Nine years later, I came here again. In the earphones, Brother Mars was singing: "I sit alone, talking to the moon." Know that you are somewhere out there, somewhere far away. But I want you to come back to me..." At this point, any sound was superfluous, and he took off the headphones and put them in his pocket.
Sun Rock, the sea surface is dull, the light of the lighthouse in the distance is bright and extinguished, and the sky and the sea are quietly opposite. There was silence all around, too early.
There was a middle-aged man on the big rock, earlier than him, standing on the edge of the cliff, like a sculpture. Xia Xiaoqi glanced at him, walked to the side, and sat on the ground far away from him, waiting for the sunrise.
This man was too close to the sea, and the railing on the cliff was so low that he seemed to be able to step out as soon as he raised his legs. He looked woodenly into the distance, as if he had not seen anything. Although it is only a back, it inexplicably reveals a low mood. Xia Xiaoqi kicked and stepped over, and also stood facing the sea. The man moved, took a few steps to the left, Xia Xiaoqi followed, he took a few steps to the right, Xia Xiaoqi also followed, the man pressed the railing, Xia Xiaoqi rushed to his side at once and grabbed an arm. The man turned his head and looked at each other, Xia Xiaoqi had never looked at someone so closely, and he didn't care about embarrassment, he said loudly: "Can't jump!" ”
The man looked at him stunned, as if waking up from a dream. This is an ordinary face, but there is deep sorrow engraved between the eyebrows. His arms were cold and stiff, his whole body was trembling, and he seemed to be suffering severe pain. Xia Xiaoqi pointed to the sky and said vigorously, "Look, it's about to rise at sunrise!" He firmly grasped the middle-aged man's arm, and he was trembling himself.
Dawn is a momentary event. Where the sea and sky meet, fish belly white, piled up with large rose clouds. The islands in the distance, as if floating from the sky, appear on the clear blue waters. The man calmed down a little and gradually relaxed his white knuckles on the railing. There are more and more tourists around, children running and shouting, adults talking loudly, and photography enthusiasts looking around with tripods looking for the best angle to capture the sunrise.
The man spoke: "Can you take me to the beach?" His voice was low, his face was haggard, and his eyes were empty.
Xia Xiaoqi quickly agreed. The man stumbled to get the backpack on the ground and bent over twice before picking it up.
They squeezed out of the crowd and walked down the stone steps down the sunstone rock, and slowly, the man stopped shaking when he walked. At some point, the sun came out, shining golden everywhere. The tide is low and the reefs are scattered across the empty beach. They walked forward side by side.
"My name is Shen Shiwen, 43 years old, from the northwest, living in Shanghai." The man stretched out his hand to Xia Xiaoqi. With serious eyes and black-framed glasses, he looked like his senior class teacher.
"Xia Xiaoqi, 19 years old, just finished the college entrance examination, from Jiangsu." He stretched out his hand and shook Shen Shiwen, he was not very comfortable with this cautious way of introduction. Shen Shiwen's hands were warm and dry, and he breathed a sigh of relief in his heart, only then did he feel hungry.
"Are you all right?" He asked.
"It's okay." Shen Shiwen said, "Thank you. ”
"No thanks." He waved his hand and headed for the highway. After a while, under the tall coconut tree, Shen Shiwen was still there, standing very straight. "It should be really fine." He thought to himself.
During his travels, he often had the illusion that people from all over the world had come here. From downtown Xiamen to Gulangyu, every corner is crammed with people. He huddled in crowds to visit the piano museum and the fishbone museum, watched the production of passion fruit honey in a small workshop, listened to wandering singers singing folk songs on the street, touched the Internet celebrity cat in the milk tea shop, and watched professional beggars hide under the mailbox to sleep, and the cards were put up next to the beggar's head, which said "Ask for adoption". He bought some postcards at the gift shop, but he didn't know who to send them to.
In the evening, he waited for the oysters to be fried at the stall at the mouth of the old alley. The old stall owner in a gray fisherman's hat chattered to a group of traveling schoolgirls about going to sea when he was young, and the old man's hands were rough and dexterous, peeling shells, taking meat, beating eggs, and stirring batter. In the bucket at their feet, the oysters lazily spit sand, and in the pan, the oyster cakes quickly fry golden brown on both sides. As soon as Xia Xiaoqi looked up, he found that Shen Shiwen came from a wall full of triangular plums, carrying a bag, and looking like a servant of the wind and dust, he seemed to have walked a long way. He recognized Xia Xiaoqi and immediately burst into a smile, his white teeth shining in the sun, just like the two of them in the morning.
Xia Xiaoqi lazily moved his butt to the side on the stone stone, which was regarded as a hello.
Shen Shiwen sat down and put his backpack on the ground. Xia Xiaoqi glanced at the heavy backpack.
"Is this wenge or yellow pear?" He remembered the old furniture gallery he had just seen.
"Neither." Shen Shiwen said seriously, "It's a rock sample. I found several rare species, and the gneiss and quartzite of the island are also featured. ”
"It turns out that you are doing geological exploration."
"It's just a hobbyist. When he was young, he almost studied geology, but his family was too poor, so he chose agricultural economics when he volunteered. Shen Shiwen laughed again, "At that time, I didn't understand anything, I thought that I would be rich if I chose an economics major." ”
"Are you going to take it back to sell for money, or collect it?"
"They belong to this island and should not be taken away. I want to label it, find a place to display it, and let interested people study. Or, throw it back up the mountain. ”
Xia Xiaoqi looked at Shen Shiwen and muttered, "You are too much like my high school homeroom teacher, don't let me see you again." ”
They eat oyster fried under the arches of the red brick buildings. In the iron fence of the openwork, there are delicate rockeries flowing water, red lotus flowers bloom in small ponds, and ripe papayas are crumbling on the trees. The female students took pictures from various angles, twittering, and it was very lively.
"Good pie." Shen Shiwen praised, "It's very delicious." ”
"You have to eat more so that you are healthy." He looked at Shen Shiwen, as a middle-aged man, he was thin, and his white shirt was empty on his body. During the day he had shaved his beard, showing a dignified appearance, unlike a drug or alcoholic.
"I didn't expect to get sick this morning and wanted to see the sunrise, but as soon as I went up, I knew I couldn't. At first, I was expecting a security guard to see me, but then I couldn't control it, and my brain went blank. Shen Shiwen said frankly.
"What disease?" Xia Xiaoqi asked.
"In June, it was found out and said to be depression." Shen Shiwen held up his glasses and glanced at Xia Xiaoqi, Xia Xiaoqi's expression was indifferent, and he did not show special surprise, "The first seizure was a year ago, I visited the planting area on the top floor of the building with the group, and I heard a voice telling me to step out. Fortunately, I walked at the end that day, and there were workers in the park working overtime to stop me, so that there was no accident, and I did not alarm the people in the unit. ”
"Why do you get this disease?" Xia Xiaoqi was puzzled.
"I don't know. Doctors say it can be cured, but it will take time and find the crux. Shen Shiwen looked at the stone floor in front of him in fascination, and the legs and feet of countless tourists came and went. Xia Xiaoqi saw the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, as well as gray sideburns.
"You're the third person besides the doctor and me to know. I didn't dare to tell my family about my illness, it was too humiliating. Shen Shiwen said in a low voice.
"What's so shameful about being sick? I found out about ADHD in elementary school, my parents had to face afraid that others would know, and they kept it secret every day, and one day I announced in class that I asked my classmates to help me, and then it was really good. You look for the cause, and everyone works together to find a way. ”
Shen Shiwen was silent for a while, and slowly began to speak.
"I worked as an agricultural statistics officer for 18 years.
"Four years ago, I took loans from two banks to buy a school district house, and I still have ten years to pay it off.
"My parents relied on ten acres of corn fields for me to study, and when they were old, I wanted to bring them to Shanghai.
"My son was in a rebellious period, he refused to work hard, and we couldn't talk.
"My wife has to change cars and houses, and I have to let my son go abroad to school. She used to laugh, read poetry, and loved geography as much as I did. The empathetic man didn't know where to go. ”
He spoke for a while, and when he stopped, he was contemplating, looking for something. Yes, he lived too hard, always wanted to do better, but finally overwhelmed. Unspeakable sadness and depression were like dark waters that eroded his life in ways that others could not detect. He knew he couldn't just sink and looked for ways to save himself.
Xia Xiaoqi didn't interject, he wouldn't comfort people. Life is like a torrent, let him once again glimpse the desolation and cruelty in it, like every time he sees his parents hurting each other, or seeing his own anger... When the head teacher talked to him, he always said that no dark cloud could cover the sky forever. But why are there so many dark clouds? He couldn't understand.
On the third day on the island, Xia Xiaoqi rented a bicycle and rode all the way along the ring road. He visited Shuyuan and saw the portrait of Zheng Chenggong. There are many tourists on every beach, helicopters buzzing in the sky, and motorboats screaming from snow-white waves on the sea. He rode farther and farther and finally reached the Acacia Forest. Here the foliage covers a large silent coast. The meadows in the forest are dense and flat, and a few local elders feed egrets with small fish by the reed pond, and there are few tourists. He dumped the car on the grass, and the man slept and closed his eyes. The wind howls in the forest, and the waves lap against the reef in the distance.
"Dear Dad, I don't know where my loneliness comes from, but I do feel lonely. You are lonely too, everyone in the world is lonely, but everyone's loneliness is different. ”
"Actually, I went to the beach myself in the summer, and I stood on the far beach looking at the blue sea, and did not go any further. At that time I thought, I still have to wait for you, I can't betray you, I have to wait for you. ”
The "Jimmy Comics", which I turned over as a child, surfaced one by one. Before this trip, he moved out of his father's new home and lived back in the old house alone. Mom came to see him, he didn't talk to her, Dad came back to see him a few times, and he didn't talk to him either. He lacks nothing but a home.
Tears dripped from the corners of his eyes and fell into the dirt.
When he opened his eyes again, Shen Shiwen sat next to him and looked at him. He sat up, rubbed his face casually, and looked up at the sky.
"Did you come alone?" Shen Shiwen asked.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I want to be quiet." He was stubborn.
"Me too, want to be alone for a while." Shen Shiwen said, "You saved me yesterday, and I think we are already friends." ”
"Nine years ago, my dad taught me to swim here, and they said they would come together when I was admitted to university."
"Later," Xia Xiaoqi stood up and threw the branch in his hand far away, "they broke up peacefully after my college entrance examination. ”
Shen Shiwen patted him on the shoulder silently as comfort. He picked up his bike and the two walked forward.
They stopped under a surprisingly luxuriant acacia tree. The tree hangs a sign, 580 years old, and the crown is like a giant umbrella. Xia Xiaoqi's neck turned up until it was sore.
Xia Xiaoqi suddenly asked, "Did you have an affair?" ”
Shen Shiwen shook his head: "I had it in my heart, but it didn't come true." ”
"Why?"
"Can't take that step." Shen Shiwen looked at him frankly, "Life is always difficult, you can't drink to quench your thirst." Although the reality is embarrassing, as long as it is not completely defeated, a little faith should be retained. ”
"Good, give you a thumbs up." Xia Xiaoqi gave a thumbs up to Shen Shiwen, "But my parents didn't do it." He was sad.
"Everyone has difficulties, try to understand more." Shen Shiwen said, "Besides, you have grown up, and your new life is more worth looking forward to." ”
"Who knows." He pretended to look around with ease. In the distant sky, there are several colorful hot air balloons.
"Have you ever been in a hot air balloon?" Shen Shiwen asked.
"Nope." He said, "When I was a child, I was afraid of heights, and I was afraid of riding a roller coaster. ”
"I haven't sat down either. Let's try it together? ”
"Good."
In fact, Shen Shiwen was more nervous than him, and after sitting in the basket, he didn't say a word, and his lips turned white. He touched Shen Shiwen's arm: "Don't be afraid." ”
The balloon rose higher and higher, and Xia Xiaoqi was a little dizzy. Shen Shiwen's body was trembling, but he tried his best to remain calm, and he even tried to smile at Xia Xiaoqi. More courage surged in Xia Xiaoqi's heart, and he thought, there is really nothing to be afraid of.
Floating in the blue sky, the island becomes a brightly colored painting. The small dots that moved on the sand, the vast expanses of green vegetation, the blue boundless sea, and the gentle wind that blew on his face, gave him a peace that he had never felt before. He thought of the encouragement his parents often gave him as a child and adolescence. At this time, it seems to look down on my usually willful and arrogant self from another perspective. He has always been attached to doting and refuses to grow up, so many years, only to take, but forgetting to understand their joys, angers and sorrows.
Both let out a long breath when they landed. "The ticket seller, thinking we were father and son, asked me which university you applied to." Shen Shiwen said.
Xia Xiaoqi was a little embarrassed, thinking to himself, father and son will not be like this, at least, after he was ten years old, he has never held arms with his father again.
A sudden torrential rain drenched them. In the wind and rain, stepping on a scarlet phoenix flower, he wanted to take a short cut back to his respective inn, but he got lost in the chaos. It was dark. At the end of the alley is a white powder wall with a few big characters written on it mottled with paint: Grandma Snack Shop. Standing in the dim light, their whole bodies dripping with water, embarrassed.
Grandma is very old, thin and spirited. She brought two cannabis cloths and let them dry them. In the blue flower bowl, the miscellaneous fish soup is snow-white and sprinkled with finely crushed green leaves, and the stoneware bowl contains earthen shoot jelly, fried sea oysters, and tortillas, which are fragrant. Grandma said in difficult Hokkien dialect, it's a pity that there is no boiled ginger mother duck today, it is easy to catch a cold when it rains, and drink more hot soup to drive away the cold.
Well fed. The rain stopped, as flickering as it came, a silvery white moonlight. When they left, Grandma repeatedly said a word, and after walking far away, they figured it out, it turned out that Grandma told them that there was a big tide on the beach tomorrow night.
That night, Xia Xiaoqi slept soundly.
On the fourth day on the island, he continued his bike around the island. Walking in the free wind, you can see the artistic architecture from time to time. It is also interesting to observe all kinds of tourists. In this earphone is Bob Dylan's hoarse voice: "How many paths does a person need to walk in his life to be called a real man." How many oceans does a white pigeon need to fly to rest on the beach..." The answer is in the wind.
He saw Shen Shiwen on the beach, wearing a white T-shirt sold on the island, with a blue sea sail shadow printed on his back, which was very eye-catching. He leaned over the edge of the reef, holding a magnifying glass to look intently, his trouser legs were high and low, all wet, but he didn't notice it. And what stone, what rock? This man has a silly enthusiasm and a serious way to the end, and indeed resembles his homeroom teacher. Xia Xiaoqi suddenly began to miss the head teacher who had bored him. He smiled and walked away, not alarming the focused man.
Stop in front of the mailbox and drop off the postcard you wrote the night before. There were two postcards, sent to Dad and Mom, with photos of him printed in quick prints, laughing in the sea breeze, and the sun blackening him.
In the evening, he showered in the dormitory and packed his clothes. Shen Shiwen sent a WeChat: At half past ten, I was in Palm Beach. He returned the OK gesture.
By the time we arrived at the beach, the evening was nearing its end. Just after the enthusiastic group dance, people from all over the world formed a large circle around the bonfire. The host said that now the drums are beating and passing the flowers, and the person who receives the flowers wants to perform the show. The young people responded in unison that it was too earthy, too earthy.
The tambourine beat happily, and suddenly there was a gorgeous belly dancer by the fire. She removed a flower from her sideburns and threw it into the crowd, where the flower was quickly passed on. The first time the drum stopped, the flower fell into the hands of a cool boy, and without saying a word, he came to a street dance. The second time she stopped drumming, in the hands of a student-like girl, she walked to the middle of the field and recited "The Reef" generously. Just when Xia Xiaoqi saw Shen Shiwen in the crowd, the fierce drumming stopped again, and the bright rose just reached Shen Shiwen's hands, and he sat dumbfounded.
"Come out, come out!" There were people booing, and the sound was wave after wave. Shen Shiwen's back stiffened, his gaze behind the lenses began to flicker, and a panic to almost despair flowed out. Xia Xiaoqi rushed away, passing through the gap in the crowd, no matter how many feet he stepped on and how many exclamations he provoked, he finally received it in his hand at the moment when the rose was about to fall.
"Shen Shiwen, can you sing? I'll sing with you! He said loudly.
Shen Shiwen looked at him deeply, lifted his glasses, and stood up.
Bonfires were blazing, and the light of the fire reflected people's faces. The host came over with a guitar and a stand: "Sing what? No, I won't! ”
Shen Shiwen picked up the microphone, and the crowd quieted down. He smiled gently, looked at everyone, and suddenly spoke: "On the summer morning when I walked out of the house, the downpour hit my face hard. His voice was low and magnetic, and this stone-like man turned out to have a good singing voice.
Xia Xiaoqi took another microphone, opened his mouth, but did not make a sound, he has never been able to sing.
"I said to myself, you have to grit your teeth and succeed to come back." The host can smoothly pick up when Shen Shiwen forgets words, and the guitar is also in place.
Someone in the crowd sang along, and soon, more people started singing along.
Pressing the last chord, the host lowered his head and put on an exaggerated contemplative pose: "The words of that year, it is really too old, but we all remember it." He greeted everyone and the party ended.
The tide is approaching, and people leave in twos and threes, leaving countless messy footprints. The staff was busy cleaning up the garbage, tide crabs and pike crabs roamed quickly at the water's edge, some strange sea creatures jumped out of the water with silver light, and the sea rippled slightly, as if planning a major action that made people excited. The sound of drumming waves in the drum stone became more dull, and in the distance, there seemed to be a rumbling in response, but when I listened, there was nothing.
Finally, the sea water came in waves, as if silent, but turbulent. The layers of white water line advanced rapidly, without hesitation and without retreat. The reef is gone, the beach is gone, and the moonlight reflects the vast sea. Endless grandeur is like the beginning of heaven and earth, and any life can rush freely.
Tourists stand on the roundabout, black pressing a large area. For a long time, no one spoke and ran, changing the usual noise. Countless mobile phone screens twinkle, like stars floating to the world.
This was the first time that Xia Xiaoqi had witnessed the high tide in its entirety. The shining silver sea seemed to flood into his heart, and he couldn't tell whether he was happy or melancholy, he only felt empty and distant, and the troubles that he usually struggled with were so small that he couldn't even count the floating dust. For the first time, he also felt strongly that it was time to plan for the future, because any individual is part of this magical world.
The two walked back slowly.
"I'll go back early tomorrow morning." Xia Xiaoqi said, "It's been more than half a month since I came out. ”
"It's time to go back, parents will definitely want to see you sooner."
"Maybe. I think of a lot of things to do. ”
Shen Shiwen's mobile phone sounded the sound of a video call, and he hesitated.
Xia Xiaoqi said: "What are you afraid of, take it." ”
The video turned on, and there was a sound of wa-la: "After so many days of not answering the phone, we are in a hurry!" ”
"I just came out and had a quiet."
"Where are you? Too dark to see. Lele wants to talk to you. ”
A middle school student with a wooden expression appeared on the screen, speaking in a rough voice. Xia Xiaoqi seemed to see himself back then. Boys may be like this at this age, which is annoying and helpless.
After answering the phone, Shen Shiwen looked more cheerful.
"I'll drop you off tomorrow morning." Shen Shiwen said.
"No, I hate my mother-in-law the most."
The first ferry docks in the morning, bringing a noisy day to the island. Xia Xiaoqi is about to leave the island. The phoenix wood blooms more luxuriantly, tourists go up and down the pier, the crowds are still there, and the heat wave is still the same. Suddenly, the mobile phone dinged, it was a photo sent by Shen Shiwen, and he went to Sunshine Rock again.
With your back to the railing, in the distance is the empty sea and sky, and the rising sun gushes out. In his expression facing the camera, with his usual seriousness, a little restrained, but standing firmly.
Not a word, no mother-in-law. Xia Xiaoqi held the mobile phone, and warmth surged in his heart.
In the distance, a chubby figure on the ferry danced at him. At first glance, it was the little boy on the ferry that day, with the hat he had lost that day still hanging around his neck. Xia Xiaoqi's scalp was numb for a while, but he still smiled and strode over.
