Original title: Humorous joke: You just knocked me out...
Life is not easy. While we can't completely eliminate life's challenges, managing stress with funny jokes is a healthy and effective habit. Funny little jokes, every day is different, as long as you pay attention, happiness is indispensable.
01
Lao Zhang and Lao Wang, old classmates who have not seen each other for many years, met one day on the street.
Lao Zhang: "Lao Wang, we haven't seen each other for many years. It seems that you have not changed at all, you are still so young. You are a few years older than me and look much younger than me. "He must have some secret recipe for health, right?"
Lao Wang: "My secret is to watch jokes every day." ”
Lao Zhang: "What does watching jokes have to do with health?" ”
Lao Wang: As the saying goes, a smile is not as good as ten years! Watching jokes often makes you excited and feel good. If the mood is good, the spirit will be good, and there are many benefits for the body, of course, the body will also be good..."
Lao Zhang: Then why don't I feel this way when I watch jokes every day?
Lao Wang: "Won't you?" People who often watch the jokes will have this feeling..." Lao Zhang: "I put all the jokes at the end of the bed, read them in the morning, and go to bed at night, which is not funny at all."
Lao Wang: "What joke are you watching?" ”
Lao Zhang: "It's just a 'joke'." ”
Lao Wang: "What are these two words called jokes?" ”
Lao Zhang: "Why isn't it a joke?" The word 'laugh' and the word 'talk' together are jokes! 02
Lips are always rotten in winter, today I went out and bought lip balm to put in bed! I came home from work and wanted to use it, but it was gone!
I asked my elementary school niece, "Have you ever seen my lipstick?" ”
As a result, his nephew Youyou, who was studying in middle school next to him, said: "Let me eat this, the lychee-flavored sugar is delicious, but it is a little sticky." ”
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03
Accidentally knocked over the boss's Huawei 20000 phone.
When I picked it up from the floor, I noticed that it was broken, and I said in disbelief: "How about I get you a new one?" ”
The boss said generously: "It's okay, he doesn't have much money, it's just a little strange, this phone I fell several times a day and it didn't break, but you fell once, you are very good!"
！”
I said, "Not because you're a dwarf. ”
Now my boss is ruthlessly harassing me and asking me to pay 20,000 yuan for a mobile phone.
04
Seeing that I was going to be late for work today, I had to take a taxi to the company. The driver chatted with me and learned that I was single.
Driver: "My son is not in love, he is alone in Beijing, graduated from a prestigious university, starts his own business, has a car and a house!" ”
I think it's because I fancy my uncle? Should I be his daughter-in-law?
Finally, the uncle said: "Oh, they are all single, what a big difference!" I said, "I'll give my dad the money I earn and let him rest at home when he retires." Let him go and play, don't go out and run around to earn money to support the family. ”
Uncle...
05
When it was almost dawn, Lao Wang had a dream. He dreamed that he was holding a shining gem in his hand.
Everyone was very red when they saw it and bought it at a high price.
Lao Wang saw that so many people valued this treasure, so he raised the market price and did not sell it for less than 10,000 yuan.
Later, someone offered 5,000 yuan, but he still refused to sell.
In the midst of bargaining and argumentation, Lao Wang's sweet dream was awakened by the cry of the morning rooster.
He opened his eyes and saw that he didn't have any jewelry in his hand, so he quickly closed his eyes and said, "Five thousand is five thousand, I'll sell it to you..."
06
As I was driving home from work, I accidentally hit the rear of the car in front of me. I didn't expect a handsome guy to come out. Seeing that nothing was wrong, he jokingly pointed to the car and smiled at me.
See the post saying: Older leftover men must get married after chasing. I thought it was funny, but at the beginning, I lost my mind and slammed it hard.
Just thinking about how to explain, the handsome guy turned his head to look at me who got out of the car and stepped on the accelerator and ran...
07
There is a distant cousin who is 1.8 meters tall, and his wife who is 1.5 meters tall.
The man's family is said to have strongly objected. The cousin insisted: "In the future, my son should be as tall and brave as me, and my daughter should be as petite and cute as her." ”.
Thirty years have passed, and my cousin now worries about the marriage of my child every day: my daughter is 1.82 meters, I can't get married, my son is, 1.68 meters, I finally found it.
08
When I was poor, my wife often quarreled with my mother, so I worked hard to earn money.
Now that I have money, the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really much better. The wife is busy quarreling with the third and fourth old, and there is no time to quarrel with the old mother.
09
When I came to the company, my master took me to control his wife strictly, smoking, drinking, bathing, singing K were all invited from my side.
Six months later, he introduced his newly graduated daughter to me.
They will get married in half a year.
And then......
"Dad, what about your pocket money for a week? Let's pool our money to buy a pack of cigarettes.
”
"Not enough, it's 2 bucks short. Hey~~ What did you fancy me for? Look at our life now! ”
"Who let you show off your wealth in front of me every day, do you know that I am psychologically unbalanced?"
"Poof~~~~~~"
010
In the car, I asked the coach: Master, can I drive well?
The coach replied: "When you see me asleep in the passenger seat, you can drive." ”
After a while, I asked again, "Master, did you just fall asleep?!" ”
Coach: "I just fainted because you fainted..." Henan Happy Little Fish likes to collect funny and humorous little white themes. Hopefully, the funny jokes every day will not only make you happy, but also make you realize a lot of life truths. The road is long, and I will look for it high. I will continue to work hard in the future. Your support, following, likes, and interactions in the comments section will be indispensable. On this path: thank you!
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